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    bellflower323's Avatar
    bellflower323 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 30, 2006, 11:23 AM
    Giving up parental rights
    My wife lives in Wisconsin and has not let me make any kind of contact to a child she says is mine (the child has my last name due to the marrage), for about two years now I am paying child support but she keeps trying to increase it and I live in another state for reasons due to the wife. I make a lot less money now than when she started getting the support but I still work for the same company and still in the same posittion. I can't support myself now due to the child support and I feel if I can't see, or talk to the child then why should I have to pay child support my wife has a much better paying job than me and always has. I don't even feel like I am a father so why not just give up my rights, so the question is how do I do that... she is in Wisconsin and I am now in Arkansas and when I give up my rights to the child what does that all mean?:confused:
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
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    #2

    Oct 30, 2006, 12:22 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by bellflower323
    I feel if I can't see, or talk to the child then why should I have to pay child support ... I don't even feel like I am a father so why not just give up my rights,
    You pay child support because it was your sperm that helped conceive the child.

    Giving up parental rights does NOT release you from financial obligation. So lets put that aside and get to the bottom of the problems.

    1) You seem to have doubts that you are the father. Was a paternity test ever done? If not, then you need to get one done right away.

    2) Where was your lawyer doing the divorce? Did you express your doubts about parentage at that time? What custody arrangement was ordered as part of the divorce.

    3) Where was your lawyer when it came time to make arrangements for child support payments. Was he aware that your wife earned more than you? If your income has been reduced, have you tried to repartition the court for a change?

    These are the things you can and should do. If your lawyer didn't bring up any of these things during the divorce you need a new lawyer. Get one right away and start fighting for your rights. You have a right to know for sure if the child is yours. You have a right, as long as you didn't physically abuse anyone, to have contact with your child. You have a right to a fair child support arrangement.
    bellflower323's Avatar
    bellflower323 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Oct 30, 2006, 12:37 PM
    No I was not aloud an attourny just a DA and yes they knew about all of that and I ask for DNA test and in the state of Wisconsin if you are married and a child is born in the marriage yours or not it is now yours and you pay for it no matter what. She put a RO on me saying I hurt her and the kids that is how she got the child support started. I got divorce papers off line and ask her to fill them but she must have moved or something cuse nothing has come of it yet.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
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    #4

    Oct 30, 2006, 12:46 PM
    Someone fed you a line that you swallowed. You are never "not allowed an attorney". A DA doesn't get involved in a divorce case, nor does a DA represent you. A DA represents the people in a criminal case. So what apparently happened is she claimed you abused her and the kids and filed charges against you. That probably resulted in a criminal assault case which is where the DA got involved. If you were arrested and/or charged for assault then you had to have been read your Miranda rights and given the right to an attorney.

    Again you NEED to hire an attorney to represent YOU. I don't know whether the Wisconsin law is as you stated but if you were lied to about not being allowed an attorney you may have been lied to about other things.
    bellflower323's Avatar
    bellflower323 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Oct 30, 2006, 12:58 PM
    Yes that was with the RO but not with the child support she got started. I got arrested for all that stuff and had to sit for no reason but I still did the time with no hasle, I am not like that, she wanted me out to be with someone else so I did it gave me 6 month to get things worked out but I am talking about the child support and the child she said is mine. I can't afford an attorny she gets most of my check I bring home $150.00 every two weeks I also pay on another child that just turned 18 in Jan. put I still pay cause I am behind but I only pay $100.00 a month for her and I know she is mine. My wife will not let me even talk to my child or send letters or see her and my wife make a lot more money than me and always has plus is getting child support for two other children from two different dads.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
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    #6

    Oct 30, 2006, 01:26 PM
    So you were arrested, charged and served 6 months and you were never given the opportunity to talk with an attorney? If that happened you have a case against the town or county or whomever.

    The problem here is you can't afford NOT to speak to an attorney. There is no way you will get visitation rights and/or your child support modified without one.
    sissy2020's Avatar
    sissy2020 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Oct 30, 2006, 01:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by bellflower323
    My wife lives in Wisconsin and has not let me make any kind of contact to a child she says is mine (the child has my last name due to the marrage), for about two years now I am paying child support but she keeps trying to increase it and I live in another state for reasons due to the wife. I make a lot less money now than when she started getting the support but I still work for the same company and still in the same posittion. I can't support my self now due to the child support and I feel if I can't see, or talk to the child then why should I have to pay child support my wife has a much better paying job than me and always has. I don't even feel like I am a father so why not just give up my rights, so the question is how do I do that....she is in Wisconsin and I am now in Arkansas and when I give up my rights to the child what does that all mean?:confused:
    When you give up rights to the child it means that you no longer have visitation rights, or any say in their lives. In most states the child must be adopted by someone, which can be a lengthy process. Consult with an attorney, most attorneys have a free consultation and they can give you more about your state requirements.

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