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Angie4896 · Aug 21, 2007, 09:09 AM

Okay, I am not sure where to start or if this is even the correct place to post this but HERE GOES...
My little brother passed away Jan 19th 2007 at the time his ex-girlfriend was close to 3 months pregnant but they had broken up and she was and is still with the same man. She claims the baby is not Josh's (my brother) but they were together at the time she got pregnant, she was just sleeping with her current boyfriend at the same time. My question is... what are the steps we should take to get her to take the DNA test? We have tried calling and she has agreed on 2 separate occasion to take the test but after every call she changes her number. We have had to track her down several times and had threatened court action if she does not take the test. But realistically what are our options as his family and what are my Mother's rights as the "possible" grandparent. She wants visitation if the baby is Josh's? Please help!

GV70 · Aug 21, 2007, 09:13 AM

Ok-first:whеre do you live?Is there father name of the child's BC

ScottGem · Aug 21, 2007, 09:17 AM

This depends on where you live. Some states do have grandparent visitation, others do not. However, with an unborn child this will be even harder. The court may decide its not in the best interests of the child. And frankly I'd agree with them. I sympathize with how you and your mother feel and you have my condolences on the loss of your brother. But I'm not sure its really in the best interests of the child to confuse it by allowing your mother into the picture.

I would get an attorney versed in Family Law issues in your area to advise you. If you want to proceed, you will need to petition the local Family Court to force the DNA test. By the way, do you have a sample of Josh's DNA to compare?

Angie4896 · Aug 21, 2007, 09:21 AM

Originally Posted by Angie4896

Okay, I am not sure where to start or if this is even the correct place to post this but HERE GOES......
My little brother passed away Jan 19th 2007 at the time his ex-girlfriend was close to 3 months pregnant but they had broken up and she was and is still with the same man. She claims the baby is not Josh's (my brother) but they were together at the time she got pregnant, she was just sleeping with her current boyfriend at the same time. My question is....what are the steps we should take to get her to take the DNA test? We have tried calling and she has agreed on 2 seperate occasion to take the test but after every call she changes her number. We have had to track her down several times and had threatened court action if she does not take the test. But realistically what are our options as his family and what are my Mother's rights as the "possible" grandparent. She wants visitation if the baby is Josh's? Please help!

The baby was born 3 weeks ago, we are in TX and it is def in the best interest of the child. The Mother is a stripper with a 9th grade education. She most definitely needs my Mothers help.. financially or otherwise. She is 21! We can have Josh's DNA released by the county when necessary.

alkalineangel · Aug 21, 2007, 09:22 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

This depends on where you live. Some states do have grandparent visitation, others do not. However, with an unborn child this will be even harder. The court may decide its not in the best interests of the child. And frankly I'd agree with them. I sympathize with how you and your mother feel and you have my condolences on the loss of your brother. But I'm not sure its really in the best interests of the child to confuse it by allowing your mother into the picture.

I would get an attorney versed in Family Law issues in your area to advise you. If you want to proceed, you will need to petition the local Family Court to force the DNA test. By the way, do you have a sample of Josh's DNA to compare?

While I agree with you on some levels here, doesn't the child have a right to know who its family is for future medical/geneology reasons?

Angie4896 · Aug 21, 2007, 09:23 AM

The current boyfriend is on the BC I believe. They are claiming he is the Father even though she was sleeping with them both at the same time... it's a 50/50 chance eother way.

ScottGem · Aug 21, 2007, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by Angie4896

The baby was born 3 weeks ago, we are in TX and it is def in the best interest of the child. The Mother is a stripper with a 9th grade education. She most definitely needs my Mothers help..financially or otherwise. She is 21! We can have Josh's DNA released by the county when necessary.

I'm sorry but I'm trying to look at this from a legal angle and what a judge might decide. You are looking at this from a more emotional and maybe a practical angle (financial support). But the baby has an "official" father to provide that financial support. On several levels, introducing multiple families into the baby's life would not be considered in its best interests. I'm just trying to prepare you as to how a judge might rule, not saying you shouldn't pursue it.

But my original advice still stands. You need to get an attorney and file a petition in family court to get paternity established. Then go from there.

Originally Posted by alkalineangel

while I agree with you on some levels here, doesnt the child have a right to know who its family is for future medical/geneology reasons?

Yes it does, but that can be accomplished without having the biological family be an active participant in the child's life.

GV70 · Aug 21, 2007, 09:40 AM

Texas has adopted the UPA Sections 263.407(a) and (c), Family Code, are
Amended to read as follows:
(a) There is a rebuttable presumption that a parent who
Delivers a child to a designated emergency infant care provider in
Accordance with Subchapter D, Chapter 262:
(1) is the child's biological parent
...
But in my view the court will not allow your claim.First-the putative father is not on the scene,second-the child has an established legal father,third-you and your mother are third party here and the court usually is not willing to allow third parties to dispute paternity questions when there is a presumed father.

Angie4896 · Aug 21, 2007, 09:43 AM

He has a criminal record... has been in prison. We are afraid for the child's safety Does that make a difference?

ScottGem · Aug 21, 2007, 09:44 AM

Originally Posted by GV70

But in my view the court will not allow your claim.First-the putative father is not on the scene,second-the child has an established legal father,third-you and your mother are third party here and the court usualy is not willing to allow third parties to dispute paternity questions when there is a presumed father.

That's what I was trying to say. ;) Still, it doesn't mean Josh's mom shouldn't try, it just means there is a probabilty she won't win.

Originally Posted by Angie4896

He has a criminal record....has been in prison. We are affraid for the childs safety Does that make a difference?

It might. But there is NO way for us to predict what a judge will do. You can ask us what will happen until you are blue in the face. All we can do is tell you the law and what our interpretations of that law are. The bottomline is you NEED to get a family attorney and you need to file a petition in Family Court. What will happen then will be up to the judge.

Angie4896 · Aug 21, 2007, 09:46 AM

Just because a man... maybe not even the real father writes his name on a birth certificate... how does that make him the Father? That child deserves to know who her real Father is and deserves to know her family. Assuming it's Josh's. (which we pray it isnt)
But we have to know for certain... you can't just let things like this go.

GV70 · Aug 21, 2007, 09:49 AM

Originally Posted by alkalineangel

while I agree with you on some levels here, doesnt the child have a right to know who its family is for future medical/geneology reasons?

The question is very interesting if we look at it philosophicaly... What is better-to live with the truth in purity and to cut all ties with the man who is willing to act as a father or to live in a stable family?

ScottGem · Aug 21, 2007, 09:51 AM

Originally Posted by Angie4896

Just because a man...maybe not even the real father writes his name on a birth certificate...how does that make him the Father?? That child deserves to know who her real Father is and deserves to know her family. Assuming it's Josh's. (which we pray it isnt)
But we have to know for certain...you can't just let things like this go.

Again, you are talking emotionally. We are talking legally. The laws allow a person to acknowledge paternity and be acknowledged as parent if they willingly sign the birth certificate. There are good and valid reasons for this, but this is not the time to go into a long discussion about those reasons.

alkalineangel · Aug 21, 2007, 09:51 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Yes it does, but that can be accomplished without having the biological family be an active participant in the child's life.

I suppose you are right, but how can the child know unless the mother knows who the father is? I agree, that I don't think the courts will allow them visitation, but I am trying to see things from the sister/mothers side as well, and they will want to at least ensure that the child knows who the biological parent is. Surely there is a way for them to get this even if they don't get visitation...

Angie4896 · Aug 21, 2007, 09:55 AM

If it were a stable family I would understand but it isn't. HELLO criminal for a Father/Stripper-9th grade education for a Mother. Are you serious!

PS: She is an ex-heroin addict, only quit when she found out she was pregnant... Josh died from a heroin over-dose. See the pattern?

alkalineangel · Aug 21, 2007, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by GV70

The question is very interesting if we look at it philosophicaly...What is better-to live with the truth in purity and to cut all ties with the man who is willing to act as a father or to live in a stable family?

I agree, but Im speaking medically... later in life when the child has children, and a child has a genetic problem... family bloodline comes into play. Same with cancer and heart disease. IM not speaking about ruinig a five year olds relationship with her adoptive parent... but without a DNA test, it will never be documented, and the child will never know in the future... Like I said above, I don't know that it will be in the best interest of the child to have visitation with another family, but the child at least deserves to know medical history, genealogy etc.

Angie4896 · Aug 21, 2007, 09:57 AM

Originally Posted by alkalineangel

I suppose you are right, but how can the child know unless the mother knows who the father is? I agree, that I dont think the courts will allow them visitation, but I am trying to see things from the sister/mothers side as well, and they will want to at least ensure that the child knows who the biological parent is. Surely there is a way for them to get this even if they dont get visitation...

This isn't just about visitation... we want to establish who the biological father is.

GV70 · Aug 21, 2007, 10:03 AM

Originally Posted by Angie4896

Just because a man...maybe not even the real father writes his name on a birth certificate...how does that make him the Father?? That child deserves to know who her real Father is and deserves to know her family. Assuming it's Josh's. (which we pray it isnt)
But we have to know for certain...you can't just let things like this go.

I disagree-the real father is the man who acts as a father not the man who impregnated the mother.
Legally-in Texas there is legislation/ s.c.Legitimacy Statute and Paternity act/which forbid such paternity claims.Have a look at In re J.W.T.-the texan court stated "the rights of natural parents are not absolute; protection of the child is paramount.. . '

Angie4896 · Aug 21, 2007, 10:07 AM

Originally Posted by GV70

I disagree-the real father is the man who acts as a father not the man who impregnated the mother.
Legally-in Texas there is legislation/ s.c.Legitimacy Statute and Paternity act/which forbid such paternity claims.Have a look at In re J.W.T.-the texan court stated "the rights of natural parents are not absolute; protection of the child is paramount. . . .'

Well the other "possible" father died, he did not JUST impregnate her. He wanted a DNA test and we are tryng to honor his wishes.

Angie4896 · Aug 21, 2007, 10:09 AM

Point is.. we don't want to take the baby from them, he can still "ACT" as her father, we just want her to know she has a whole family who loves her. We just want to know her, she is our family. (POSSIBLY)