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Dont.takeMySon · May 12, 2012, 09:55 AM

I have a almost 3 month old who's father has only seen him 10 times since birth. Was never involved during thr pregnancy. Didn't want to sign the birth cert. Because he believed the baby wasn't his. He hasn't bought anything for the baby, I've been pay for it all. When he does visits he only hold the baby for 10 min, gives him back when he cries, but Now he wants to take my son for the night and wants 50/50 custody. He doesn't have a stable living arrangement, right now I live my mom & dad. But I am planning to move out to my own place soon. I'm not breastfeeding anymore. Its been 22 days since the last time he came to see his son. My son doesn't even know his fathers face. Will the court let him take our baby over night with him? Fathers has no experence with a baby this small?
Another question how long is the court process in California?

Fr_Chuck · May 12, 2012, 10:05 AM

Of course he will get over night, at a min ( almost always) he will get at least every other weekend and one night during the week.

And not to be rude, a mother has not experience with a baby either, just giving birth did not give them any special knowledge

You may, if he takes this to court, ask that he complete a parently class, some court will require it ( but not always)

His being on or not on the birth certificate does not have any rights, he may just be required to prove he is the father by DNA test

Fathers who have not seen their children for years are often given visitation rights.

Dont.takeMySon · May 12, 2012, 10:21 AM

Thanks! Oh I'm not saying I had all the experience either, but after taking care of my son without his help. I know how to calm my son down, he's a very very colicy baby. Plus father has no where totake him to doesn't have a stable home, & he has a criminal record. Lets see what the judge rules. Every judge is different. I'll post the results.

Fr_Chuck · May 12, 2012, 10:34 AM

The criminal record will hurt him, but if he is living lets say in a extended stay hotel that is a residence, if he is homeless on the street that is different, and yes every judge is different.

ScottGem · May 12, 2012, 11:39 AM

First, I moved this from Business Plans, not sure why you posted it there. Second, if this guy was so bad, why did you have sex with him? We hear this all the time, Complaints about a guy being a father, but he was OK to have sex with? Courts do look at that.

But if he does not have a residence, it is unlikely the court will award overnights. But could it be his parents behind it and he will nave overnights there?

I suggest consulting an attorney to help you prepare for court.

Fr_Chuck · May 12, 2012, 11:41 AM

I will agree, if he does not have a home, he has not money for an attorney and I can't believe he is filing in court for visits.. Has this just been threats he is making ?

Dont.takeMySon · May 12, 2012, 12:16 PM

For Scott Gem not sure how I posted this there. Sorry about that... As for your comments prior from finding out I was pregnant we were together for 2 1/2 years we talked about having kids in the future. Now after giving birth he's talking about getting custody. Some people hide there true colors. They say one thing and turns out they want to hurt you. He is trying to hurt me by trying to take my son away for a few days a week, when he hasn't cared to visit him much. Before any of this custody talk, I told him I'm really attached to my son, I've only been apart from my son for an hour, and I was miserable, was nervous and wanted to rush to get back to him. So having him gone for the day and night might cause emotional damage for me right now because he is still to young. Once he six months it'll be OK with me.

Dont.takeMySon · May 12, 2012, 12:30 PM

For fr_chuck he sleeps at different peoples houses, friends and dad. He might just be threating me but I'll wait to get news from the court. Right? Or is there something I should do to start my case?

AK lawyer · May 12, 2012, 01:57 PM

Originally Posted by Dont.takeMySon

... So having him gone for the day and night might cause emotional damage for me ...

Doesn't hold water. You need to grow up.

My wife's son is doing ten years in prison. And she isn't suffering any "emotional damage". --That shows, anyway. :(

ScottGem · May 12, 2012, 04:14 PM

If you want to steal a march on him and file for custody before he files for visitation get an attorney to prepare a case.

Maybe he is getting back at you for leaving him, you did leave him right? But he is the child's father.

Dont.takeMySon · May 13, 2012, 03:54 AM

To Scott Gem, thanks I'll do that.

To AK Lawyer, wow! Does your wife not have a close bound with her son..?. My sister is in jail and my mother cries every other day for her child.
I have a huge bound with my child, he's my first so it hard to be apart from him right now, but I'm sure once he's a little older it won't be as hard for me. He's only 3 months. Ask your wife how she was with her son when he was that small. I am grown up I'm just the type of mother that doesn't want to miss her child say his first word, crawling the first time, etc. I have always want my child to have both parents together as a family. Just like my parents 29 years of marriage, but it doesn't always happen the way we want.
Are you really a lawyer? Just wondering

Dont.takeMySon · May 13, 2012, 04:01 AM

To Scott Gem. Yes, I think he is doing this to get back at me. I do understand he has rights to see his son, it just the overnight stay that is freaking me out only because my son is so young.