Hi,
I am in dire need of some help so if you can help please do. Recently I was served with a restraining order which accused me of assault. This assault never occurred. The truth is my wife found out that I had a my space account and went ballistic kicking me out under threat of a restraining order. I left easily and once I was gone, she files a restraining order for assault and harassment. Neither of these occurred but I am still banned from seeing my wife and daughter. She included my daughter on the restraining order even though I have never and would never hurt either my wife or my daughter. In truth, I love them both very much and want nothing more than to reconcile with my family.

My question is do I have any recourse to see my daughter or counteract the restraining order? My wife was unfaithful several times throughout our marriage most recently this past summer. I accepted her back into our home even though she admitted the infidelities because of my daughter. I know have been advised to do nothing and just wait the three weeks until the restraining order date. I miss my daughter so much as she and I were much closer that my wife in all ways and she and my wife did not get along at all.

I just want to see my daughter but cannot ask for interim visitation because of pending charges alleged by my wife. Does a Father have any rights in this situation or must I sit and slowly die due to the lack of contact with the only thing in my life that matters at this point? Can her infidelity be used as a chip to get me visitation with my daughter? I am at my wits' end and am hoping there is some compassionate person out there with some advice which could allow me to at least do something, anything to help in this situation.

Thank you so much in advance and please believe me when I say I am telling the truth and am being unjustly accused for my wife to advance her career goals using the love of my life, my daughter, as a chip.

I wish there was a magic pill for you but I am afraid you will need to wait until the restraining order hearing. Without proof she shouldn't be able to get it. ( I say shouldn't only because I can't give you any absolute guarantees but honestly feel a judge won't order it.)

It will be a long three weeks, but it is only three weeks out of your entire lives. Take it step by step. Fight the restraining order and then of course ask for visitation. According to what you have said there is really no reason for you not to get very liberal visitation even up to joint custody. The closer you are to your daughter and the closer you live to her and can keep consistency in her life the better for you at getting the most visitation.

I don't believe her infidelity will really play any part in the custody/visitation. Unless it is harmful to her, lots of men coming and going in the house, or they are abusive/drug users etc. the judge won't likely give any weight to it.

Try not to see it as your dying just as a season of absence and then you will be together again. Do what you can to busy yourself in the meantime and try not to dwell on it. It will go more quick than you think and then you can move forward. I wish I had something better to offer you , maybe someone else will. But stay strong, take care of yourself, your daughter needs you and you have the rest of your lives ahead of you to enjoy. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Thank you tawnynkids. I am so confused right now. I really appreciate your answer. Just knowing that someone, anyone cared enough to respond is nice to know. She is now calling me telling me that I must be a great Father because I haven't even called to see how my 8-year old daughter is. My lawyer says it is just a game to get me to violate the restraining order but I miss my daughter so very much. It hurts me to think of her sitting there wondering where Daddy is and why he hasn't called is enough to make me cry (something I have done a lot lately). Once again, thank you for responding.

Yes, she must be confused and you must be in such pain. But try to remember it's only a small glitch of time in the grand scheme and you will be able to assure her of your love when this is over and spent the rest of your time making sure she is secure in that. Believe me she won't be permanently damaged over this few weeks. And your relationship can and will be strong again. She and you will both be okay. Stick to what your lawyer says for sure and don't let yourself get caught up in her childish schemes and ways. And don't let her make you feel bad, know that you are a good caring father, believe that! And please let me know what happens. I will pray for you and your daughter. Blessings!