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    TerrieS's Avatar
    TerrieS Posts: 36, Reputation: 2
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    #41

    Jan 18, 2010, 08:37 AM

    I am back to ask for more information. I really do appreciate you all giving me the help you have given me in the past.
    We have a court date coming up next week for visitation and 50% custody. We are in Calif.

    Here is the problem. My son met with the mother once about a month ago and she still denied him visitation. She tried to talk him into giving up his parental rights. He refused.

    Last night she called asking him to give up his rights again and drop the whole case and she will pay him $10,000. My son told her NO. She then told my son that she moved out of state 12 days ago. Inside the court papers that was served to her are child abduction prevention orders. We have not had the court date yet. But is she suppose to move if we put in the court summons that she can not move and the abduction prevention?

    How should we handle this? Do we call the police to report this. She did not give my son an address where she went to and I notice she changed her phone number. We have not tried to contact her because we do not want to mess up the court date. I know she has one relative in the state she claims she moved to and I looked up the address to where he works..
    My son's number one concern is he does not want to hurt his duaghter. He just does not want to take her from her mom when he is a complete stranger to her.

    Will the judge notice in court the things she is doing before the court date? We are planning to call the police and make a police report for her moving our of state. She has hidden this child for 7 years from my son.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #42

    Jan 18, 2010, 08:46 AM

    Since the court date is next week, I would wait for the hearing. If she doesn't show up, then the court will swear out a warrant for her.

    If she does show up, then you report the phone conversation to the judge. Did you know where she was living? Can you check to confirm she no longer lives there?

    I have to tell you, however, if she is determined to keep your son's child from him, and she is willing to go underground to do so, there may be little that can be done to stop her.

    If she doesn't show for the hearing, the judge should, as I said, swear out a warrant for her arrest for parental kidnapping. The problem here is that the police will probably not do much to serve that warrant. Your son may have to hire a PI to find her. If he can find her, he can get a copy of the warrant, go to the police where she is and have them serve it, place her into custody and have him take the child.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #43

    Jan 18, 2010, 09:18 AM

    Scottgem has covered it all - I will add NY that your request that she be ordered to not leave the State has no effect unless/until the Judge orders that particular relief. So, no, asking that she not be allowed to leave is meaningless in this situation.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #44

    Jan 18, 2010, 09:57 AM

    Many times in the Family court system in California there are standard restraining orders issued when there is a child custody case pending. It sounds like those orders may have been already issued. If she has crossed state boarders with the child then she would be guilty of a major offense at this point. First off you need to verify if she did in fact move. If she has moved then you need to move quickly. The old address should have a forward on it. If it does not then you could try mailing an overnight letter to that address and see what happens. If she has violated orders clearly then the FBI will get involved if she has crossed state lines. Your son needs to be strong and not be namby pamby about any of this. She should go to prison.
    TerrieS's Avatar
    TerrieS Posts: 36, Reputation: 2
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    #45

    Jan 19, 2010, 09:59 AM

    Califdadof3, I got a hold of the police department where she lives to do a welfare check. No one answered the door. She told my son she got a job in the state she moved at which does not surprise me because she works in the medical field and can get a job anywhere. She had two wonderful jobs here so I think that proves she moved because of the pending court date.

    I got a hold of the police where I live.. and they said since it is not court order there is nothing they can do. They said to just wait till the court date. Are the sleeping on this instead of taking action?

    My son told me she mentioned she did not go to orientation for the courts and if she is out of state and with the court hearing just being 5 business days away I doubt she will be fulfilling her obligation to the courts. When I called the court's it took them almost 2 weeks to get them to call me back for a date for the orientation.

    Can this women really get away with what she has been getting away with?

    Can the courts order her to move back to California if we can prove she moved just because the visitation/custody order being brought to court?

    I have proof that she was planning to return back to work in April she has been out of work on maternity leave. She just had another baby as far as I can tell there is no baby daddy in the picture of that child either.

    Please, if you can help with some suggestions.. on how to deal with our handle it.. the site you gave me for kids turn there is one in the County that she lived in before this latest move.

    Well any advice real be very helpful right now..

    Thank you,
    Terr
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #46

    Jan 19, 2010, 11:10 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by TerrieS View Post
    Califdadof3, I got a hold of the police department where she lives to do a welfare check. No one answered the door. She told my son she got a job in the state she moved at which does not surprise me because she works in the medical field and can get a job anywhere. She had two wonderful jobs here so I think that proves she moved because of the pending court date.

    I got a hold of the police where I live.. and they said since it is not court order there is nothing they can do. They said to just wait till the court date. Are the sleeping on this instead of taking action?

    My son told me she mentioned she did not go to orientation for the courts and if she is out of state and with the court hearing just being 5 business days away I doubt she will be fulfilling her obligation to the courts. When I called the court's it took them almost 2 weeks to get them to call me back for a date for the orientation.

    Can this women really get away with what she has been getting away with?

    Can the courts order her to move back to California if we can prove she moved just because the visitation/custody order being brought to court?

    I have proof that she was planning to return back to work in April she has been out of work on maternity leave. She just had another baby as far as I can tell there is no baby daddy in the picture of that child either.

    Please, if you can help with some suggestions .. on how to deal with our handle it.. the site you gave me for kids turn there is one in the County that she lived in before this latest move.

    Well any advice real be very helpful right now..

    Thank you,
    Terr
    Otherwise - the Police are correct. This is not a Police matter. As I read it there is no Court Order telling her she can't move so she is/was free to go wherever she wants to go.

    Whether there's a "baby daddy" in the picture is really more of an assessment of what you believe her character to be than anything else. It is not a legal issue. You continue to blame all of this on the mother - from her somehow forcing your son to have sex with her in the first place - without any blame on the part of your son.

    This should have been in the hands of an Attorney a long time ago. I do realize that didn't happen and you can't change the past but I trust you, in person, are a lot less judgmental than your written word. It will not do you well to make comments about her when you are in Court.

    It's going to come down to what you can prove, not what anyone believes or thinks. Again, with no Court Order she is pretty much a free agent. I don't think (if she has found gainful employment somewhere else) the Court will force her back.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #47

    Jan 19, 2010, 11:19 AM

    The police normally do not get involved in domestic disputes except where required to uphold a court order. Since there is no court order issued, there is nothing the police can do right now. And with the court date so close I don't see anything to be gained by trying to find her and dragging her back now.

    If the court papers served on her included warning about abduction (and I suspect they were warnings rather than orders), when she does not show for court and your son can prevent proof that she has moved without informing him of where, then he can ask that a warrant for parental kidnapping be issued. You then go to the FBI with this warrant.

    Unless she went underground, they should have no problem finding her. If she is trying to get a job in her field, her license to work in the medical field will have to be shown, that and her SSN should make it easy for the FBI to locate her and she will be returned to the jurisdiction of the court. Very likely, the child will be placed with your son and he will have a good chance of getting custody and she will be restricted to supervised visits.

    So go to the hearing with a positive attitude. She screwed up and your son should benefit from that screw up.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #48

    Jan 19, 2010, 11:25 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    Again, with no Court Order she is pretty much a free agent. I don't think (if she has found gainful employment somewhere else) the Court will force her back.
    Umm Judy:
    Quote Originally Posted by TerrieS View Post
    Inside the court papers that was served to her are child abduction prevention orders.
    Whether these child abduction prevention orders had the force of a court order or were simply a warning, I'm not sure. But I think its clear that the court, in establishing a hearing on this issue, was telling her not to leave the jurisdiction.

    I strongly believe the court will issue a contempt warrant in this case. And that the FBI will view this as parental kidnapping. Assuming the OP is correct that she has moved out of the court's jurisdiction without permission or informing her son of where she is.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #49

    Jan 19, 2010, 11:42 AM

    I hope you're right, Scott. I have no idea what a child abduction prevention order is or, in fact, if this relief was requested or granted.

    In reading through it was my opinion that this was simply requested relief, not ordered relief. I see nothing indicating that the mother was ordered not to leave prior to the hearing. I see all sorts of relief requested all the time but that relief is either granted or denied at a hearing, not based on the request.

    No problem correcting me if I am misreading something here.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #50

    Jan 19, 2010, 12:00 PM

    Once litigation has started in a Custody hearing, the custodial parent is normally enjoined from leaving the jurisdiction. At least that's my understanding.

    But even if it was only a request and not an order, what judge would not be upset at someone defying even his requests? Throw in the fact that she has hidden herself from the father and I don't believe the court will be favorably disposed to her.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #51

    Jan 19, 2010, 12:09 PM

    I see your side of it, although I don't know which of us is legally correct. As I said, I see requests on a regular basis, requests which have no effect until an Order is issued.

    I'll be curious to see how this plays out.

    Whether insulting the Court (which this very well may be) harms the mother's case or not will be interesting.

    I'll be curious about the outcome.

    EDIT: I'm working - just asked an Attorney. He asked if the papers referred to where the "usual" Petition or an Order to Show Cause. An Order to Show Cause would have prevented the mother from moving; otherwise, depends on Court and State.
    TerrieS's Avatar
    TerrieS Posts: 36, Reputation: 2
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    #52

    Jan 19, 2010, 01:32 PM

    Wow, all the information you guys are giving is making me have some hope...

    When I turned in these papers to the court house and they gave me a date for court.

    I turned in:
    Order to Show Cause (Child Custody/Visitation)
    Application for order and supporting Declaration
    Child Custody and visitation Application Attachment
    Children's Holiday Schedule
    Additional Provisions-Physical custody attachment
    Joint Legal Custody Attachment
    Request for Child Abduction Prevention Orders

    I did complete the order to show cause.

    No judge has looked at this our talked to us. The family court clerk only took these papers and stamped them and gave them a court date.

    I do not think a judge will be happy with the choices she made. I have access to a account that she has on line and read about when she was going to be returning to work in April in this state and I have the print out of that. I have printed out where she stated her phone is disconnected just recently. Also, about her new job at a very good paying hospital here.. She was working for 2 different hospitals. Now 14 days ago she just up and moved.

    I can not for the life of me see that benefiting her. I am hoping that will show proof that she has been hiding this child and running with her. I pray a judge stops her.

    So far for court we have:
    (Thanks to Calidadof3) we found a good counseling place that deals with parental alienation.

    The mother told my son she is ill with severe type one diabetes if this is true or not we got information on that.

    We have declarations from my grandsons mother (they are divorced) and grandparents saying they have never had issues over visitation with my son's son and what a great father he is.

    We have documents how well my grandson does in school.

    I am hoping this is going to wrap up the case to show that my son is a good dad and deserves to see his daughter.

    I am scared that my son is not working and her moving will the courts order my son to pay the transportation to and from the visits?

    The last thing my son wants to do is rip his daughter who vaguely knows him out of her mothers arms.. He just wants his little girl to know he is here and wants to be apart of her life.. and she has a family who loves her. If the courts do give him full custody he is ready to deal with that but he wants that to be the last option because he does not want to hurt his little girl.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #53

    Jan 19, 2010, 01:43 PM

    Now I'm a little bit confused. You say you turned these documents into the court. But was the mother served with them? If she was, then its as I've said. However if she was not served with them, then she was unaware of the prevention and may not be enjoined from moving. However, she is still not allowed to keep her location from the father.
    TerrieS's Avatar
    TerrieS Posts: 36, Reputation: 2
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    #54

    Jan 19, 2010, 01:52 PM

    She was served the same day the papers where turned into court with the papers. I had to call the police to come out and make sure she was home by having them do a welfare check on the child. When she answered the door the police made her get served by me.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #55

    Jan 19, 2010, 03:57 PM

    Wait a minute - you served her? The Police "made" her take service from you?

    That would disqualify service in NY due to the family connection IF the mother complains. Did you also notarize the papers (which you were considering)?
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #56

    Jan 19, 2010, 04:03 PM

    Service is legal according to what's said here.

    From Calif self help center.

    Ref:
    California Courts: Self-Help Center: Free and Low-Cost Legal Help: Get Ready for Court

    Main page:

    http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp...t/getready.htm
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #57

    Jan 19, 2010, 04:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by TerrieS View Post
    She was served the same day the papers where turned into court with the papers. I had to call the police to come out and make sure she was home by having them do a welfare check on the child. When she answered the door the police made her get served by me.
    So what we are seeing here is the mother DID NOT move away as had been stated before ?
    TerrieS's Avatar
    TerrieS Posts: 36, Reputation: 2
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    #58

    Jan 19, 2010, 04:12 PM

    JudyKayTee,

    No I did not Notarize the papers the Family Law place at the court house told me all I had to do was have people write up a declaration which is a court paper that does not need to be notarized.

    I was told as long as I am not the petitioner or the respondent on the court case I can serve her I got that directly from one of DA's at the court house when I talked to her. She told me to make sure I served her right away before the mother takes off.
    TerrieS's Avatar
    TerrieS Posts: 36, Reputation: 2
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    #59

    Jan 19, 2010, 04:15 PM
    Califdadof3,

    I served her on Dec. 7th. She called my son the other night and said she moved to Oregon 13 days ago refused to give him the address and phone number where she is at.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #60

    Jan 19, 2010, 05:20 PM

    Did you get back the forms from the courts with a signature on it ? Im talking about form FL-341 (B) that would be the abduction form. If she has moved then that signed copy would be good enough to show to police and should get some actions started.

    Ref:

    http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/forms/fillable/fl341b.pdf

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