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    mrskruk09's Avatar
    mrskruk09 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 10, 2010, 07:28 AM
    Father custody vs Mother
    My brother has a mediation agreement with his sons mother for full physical custody of his son. Yesterday she filed for full physical custody countering their mediation agreement. Is there much chance she will get what she is asking for since he has been the sole provider for his son since birth? She also regularly doesn't pick him up when her visitation is and didn't have full custody of her other son until recently, he was in the care of her mother.
    this8384's Avatar
    this8384 Posts: 4,564, Reputation: 485
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    #2

    Nov 10, 2010, 08:29 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by mrskruk09 View Post
    My brother has a mediation agreement with his sons mother for full physical custody of his son. Yesterday she filed for full physical custody countering their mediation agreement. Is there much chance she will get what she is asking for since he has been the sole provider for his son since birth? She also regularly doesnt pick him up when her visitation is and didnt have full custody of her other son until recently, he was in the care of her mother.
    It all depends - she could have no chance at all or the odds could be in her favor. What are her grounds for requesting the custody change?

    You stated that your brother was the child's primary caregiver since his birth; is this documented by the courts? Was there a previous court order granting him primary legal custody of the child, or was it just a verbal agreement between him and the mother?
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    mrskruk09 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Nov 10, 2010, 08:32 AM
    Comment on this8384's post
    She got married in June to a guy she met in Feb. so she wants him back now. They have a mediation agreement, I am not sure if this is court documented or not. She left my brother in Dec of last year when the child was only 2 months old.
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    mrskruk09 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Nov 10, 2010, 08:33 AM
    Comment on this8384's post
    She also just recently got her 3 year old son back from her mother who has kept him this entire time but this arrangement was between them, nothing documented. He doesn't have full legal custody just full physical custody, based on the mediation.
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    this8384 Posts: 4,564, Reputation: 485
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    #5

    Nov 10, 2010, 08:38 AM

    Quote Originally Posted by mrskruk09
    She got married in June to a guy she met in Feb. so she wants him back now. They have a mediation agreement, I am not sure if this is court documented or not. She left my brother in Dec of last year when the child was only 2 months old.
    First, please don't use the "comment" feature to follow up. Please use the box underneath that's titled "Answer this question" :)

    Second, her getting married isn't grounds for the change. What reasons is she citing that she feels the child would be better off if he lived with her? Is she alleging that your brother is abusing or neglecting the child?

    Your brother needs to prove that he is a fit parent and that he has been the child's primary caregiver since birth; those will work in his favor to keep custody.
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    this8384 Posts: 4,564, Reputation: 485
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    #6

    Nov 10, 2010, 08:54 AM

    Quote Originally Posted by mrskruk09
    She also just recently got her 3 year old son back from her mother who has kept him this entire time but this arrangement was between them, nothing documented. He doesnt have full legal custody just full physical custody, based on the mediation.
    What happens with her other child doesn't pertain to this case.

    Quite honestly, I don't see why a judge would order a change of custody. But that's just a guess because I don't have all the specifics of the situation. You say she left the child with him; she may come into court and say he took off with the baby and she didn't know where he was. People lie in court all the time; your brother needs to be able to prove what he's saying is true and accurate.
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    mrskruk09 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Nov 10, 2010, 09:58 AM
    Sorry, I am new to this site so I wasn't sure.

    In Feb, she wrote up a document for both my brother and her mother stating she was granting full custody of the children to each person respectively. The documents were notarized and my brother has a copy of both the one he signed as well as the one her mother signed. I know this is not a legal document, however it is proof (to me anyway?) that she gave the children away in Feb 10. My brother then in March filed legally for full physical custody where they went to the mediator and he advised he wanted full physical custody and she would receive visitation rights (every other weekend and 2 weeks a year, easter week and 4th of July) and that she provide the child with his necessities when he is with her on the visits (ie. Diapers, formula, etc) and she totally signed off on it all and agreed. My brother does not receive any child support from the mother and has been caring for him this way since March 10. Recently, she got married and moved into a new home with her new husband. She asked my brother if she could take the child for a week out of state at Christmas to visit her father. My brother told her that it was not part of the arrangement and that he felt uncomfortable deviating from the agreement of a week at Easter and a week at July 4th. She went crazy (for lack of better words) and a week later he is filed with full custody papers from her. He is seeking legal representation but we do not believe she has any, she filled out the form at the courthouse herself stating it would be a "better familial environment since she is married", she has been married since June to a guy she met in February. My brother does have his own residence and the child has his own bedroom, he does have a live in girlfriend who does not have any children herself and they both have full time jobs and help to take care of the boy. My parents also live within 5 minutes of my brother and are a good family support for my brother and for the child. I don't know if any of this matters but I was just trying to give you more information. She has nothing on my brother that shows he is unfit. To us, we believe she is just mad that he wouldn't let her take the baby for a week at Christmas so now she is seeking "revenge" of some sorts. Thank you so much for your help thus far!
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    this8384 Posts: 4,564, Reputation: 485
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    #8

    Nov 10, 2010, 11:02 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by mrskruk09 View Post
    Sorry, I am new to this site so I wasnt sure.

    In Feb, she wrote up a document for both my brother and her mother stating she was granting full custody of the children to each person respectively. The documents were notarized and my brother has a copy of both the one he signed as well as the one her mother signed. I know this is not a legal document, however it is proof (to me anyways?) that she gave the children away in Feb 10. My brother then in March filed legally for full physical custody where they went to the mediator and he advised he wanted full physical custody and she would receive visitation rights (every other weekend and 2 weeks a year, easter week and 4th of July) and that she provide the child with his necessities when he is with her on the visits (ie. diapers, formula, etc) and she totally signed off on it all and agreed. My brother does not receive any child support from the mother and has been caring for him this way since March 10. Recently, she got married and moved into a new home with her new husband. She asked my brother if she could take the child for a week out of state at Christmas to visit her father. My brother told her that it was not part of the arrangement and that he felt uncomfortable deviating from the agreement of a week at Easter and a week at July 4th. She went crazy (for lack of better words) and a week later he is filed with full custody papers from her. He is seeking legal representation but we do not believe she has any, she filled out the form at the courthouse herself stating it would be a "better familial environment since she is married", she has been married since June to a guy she met in February. My brother does have his own residence and the child has his own bedroom, he does have a live in girlfriend who does not have any children herself and they both have full time jobs and help to take care of the boy. My parents also live within 5 minutes of my brother and are a good family support for my brother and for the child. I dont know if any of this matters but I was just trying to give you more information. She has nothing on my brother that shows he is unfit. To us, we believe she is just mad that he wouldnt let her take the baby for a week at Christmas so now she is seeking "revenge" of some sorts. Thank you so much for your help thus far!
    If everything you've stated here is true and accurate, I don't see her having any chance of getting primary physical custody. She has no grounds. That's not to say that the court wouldn't increase her visitation time; they may give her summers with the child or visitation every other weekend. But I doubt they'll turn the child over to her. The court will not uproot a child from his familiar surrounding simply because his mother has been married for 5 months; that's absurd. I'd have to agree that she is doing this out of revenge.

    If your brother has those documents, I would say that is sufficient for him to claim he has been the primary caregiver of the child. The judge would have to be an absolute fool to buy into her "My 9-month relationship provides more stability for the child when I previously said I didn't want him" excuse.

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