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nicola_21 · Sep 27, 2011, 11:20 AM

Hi my ex wants his name on our daughters birth certificate but I am worried about giving him such rights as he walked out on me 8 weeks before I gave birth, his lied about things and I find it hard to trust him, we are getting along and are friends but I am worried that as soon as I put his name down he will try and fight for her although he has said that he won't. We have both agreed that if someone aka solicitor can write down that he will not try and fight to take her from me and also that I won't stop him seeing her. I need to know if anyone can help us sort this out.

smoothy · Sep 27, 2011, 11:47 AM

If he's the father, he has rights. You can't deny them. If you put his name down or not... he can file to take custody, and he will have a DNA test to back up his claim to paternity.

No piece of paper can terminate those rights. No matter what words are on it. Only a court can take those rights away... and they very rarely ever do that.

You might be best served to put aside your hostility towards him or he might be prompted to exercise his rights out of spite. And a child rarely profits from a struggle between the parents.

nicola_21 · Sep 27, 2011, 11:53 AM

I know he has rights but I am worried that he will try and fight for her but he says he won't, I just want it in paper that he won't try and he is willing to do so its just going about it to get it done.

kcomissiong · Sep 27, 2011, 12:10 PM

As smoothy said, there is nothing that he can sign that would legally tie his hands to the point that he could not try and take custody of the child. Try is the key word; just because he files a petition doesn't mean he will get primary custody. If he is not unfit, he will get visitation though, and there isn't a lot you can do about that. However, you trying to find some kind of loophole to bar him from exercising his rights may work against you in court.

smoothy · Sep 27, 2011, 12:27 PM

Originally Posted by nicola_21

i know he has rights but i am worried that he will try and fight for her but he says he wont, i just want it in paper that he wont try and he is willing to do so its just going about it to get it done.

Nothing you can possibly put on paper can supercede his rights or terminate them as a father. Period... doesn't matter what you write, who writes it or who signs it. It would legally have less value than a used Tissue in the court room.

ONLY a court can terminate those rights. And they never do in your situation.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 27, 2011, 12:59 PM

I am sorry, you do not have to let him be on the birth certificate but he can sill do anything he could do anyway, he would just have to prove paternity to file for partial custody, to file for visits and more.

So putting him, or not putting him on the birth certificate does not change any of his rights.

nicola_21 · Sep 27, 2011, 01:09 PM

okay then thanks for all your help x