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cjnorem · Sep 4, 2008, 05:25 PM

My 18 year old son's girlfriend of 3 years has found out that she is expecting. The problem is that she does not turn 18 until mid October. They really want to be married before she is showing. Her mother will not consent to the marriage; determined on making her wait until she is 18. Does she have any options??

Fr_Chuck · Sep 4, 2008, 05:27 PM

Wait till she is 18. The court time to get emancipated would take months, you would not even get into court by mid Oct.
Take the time, plan a nicer wedding, when the baby comes everyone can count backwards months anyway.

stinawords · Sep 4, 2008, 06:18 PM

Her option are to get married when she is showing or wait until the baby is born. Her mother does not have to allow her to get married as a minor and as fr. Chuck said she won't even be able to get a court date until after she is 18.

ScottGem · Sep 4, 2008, 06:33 PM

Originally Posted by TheSitterNina

My neighbor just told me today she was 15 when she got married. Her mother wouldn't consent. So her then boyfriend who was 27 picked her up and took her two states away and they were married without need for consent. So I know it's possible.

I would be skeptical of this neighbor's veracity or memory. There are very few states that would allow a 15 yr old to be married without parental consent. In addition there might have been a Mann Act violation here.

I vote with waiting. Its only an extra month.

ScottGem · Sep 4, 2008, 08:29 PM

First, all the information you posted sets a minimum age of 16. Your neighbor claimed to be 15. Second, none of what you posted says anything about residency requirements. While many states do not have such requirements some do. Also most JPs have the right to refuse to perform a ceremony if they are not satisified with union. Third, A 27 year old man marrying a 15 yr old girl is going to raise a lot of eyebrows, especially more than 50 years ago. I find it hard to accept a 27 yr old man really being in love with a 15 yr old girl.

And yes, the Mann Act reference was pretty far fetched. But if her parents wanted to make trouble they could have invoked it.

So yes, I am very skeptical about this story, even more so, when you point out it happened about 45 years ago.

As for the OP, yes, going to another state to get married is a possibility. But is that really good advice? I suspect that they want a more formal family wedding, which is why they want it before she begins to show. So running away to elope doesn't seem to satisfy that requirement. Also, it may alienate the two families just when they need to come together.

Clearly, getting pregnant THEN getting married is not as frowned on as it has been in the past (Jamie Lynn Spears, Bristol Palin). So gettign married with a "bump" shouldn't be too much of a problem.

ScottGem · Sep 5, 2008, 06:07 AM

Originally Posted by TheSitterNina

Your correct "almost". There was no set limits on age as long as the bride to be had proof from a physician that she was pregnant.

We need to separate out the two situations a bit. When I was referring to age limits, I was referring to your neighbor. You didn't indicate she was pregnant when she went off with this guy. Since the OP is just about a month away from her 18th, she would probably pass most age limitations.

Originally Posted by TheSitterNina

I am not saying it's good advice. It's a choice/alternative/idea.

Your right, its not good advice at least In my opinion.

Originally Posted by TheSitterNina

As far as my next door neighbor.... She said she was 15 when she ran off with him. She didn't exactly say she married him at 15. So thats my fault for saying it.

That brings the Mann Act back into play here. If she ran off with a 27 yr old at 15, the Mann Act could very well have been used to find and prosecute him. Statutory rape would have also been a possibility. That's why I have difficulty accepting that story.