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hrhwhittier · Feb 25, 2008, 02:34 PM

I live in Massachusetts and have one child. I am divorced and have physical custody, we share legal. I have an opportunity to run a business in California and wish to go. What are my chances of getting a court to say it's OK? My ex is a control freak and would never let me go. What steps can I take? I do not currently work and could use the job.

cdad · Feb 25, 2008, 03:45 PM

Does the father currently have visitation with the child / children ? If so then better check the local papers for a job because a judge Im guessing will not allow the move. There are many posts on here like yours maybe browse some of those to get a better idea.

hrhwhittier · Feb 25, 2008, 04:13 PM

He does visit and is a OK dad. I would never want to divide my son and his father, but I do need to provide for myself and son. He does pay child support but makes a significant amount of money and doesn't provide that well for us. My son will go off to college and I will not get anything. I need this job for my future security. If I go back to work in the field I was in before giving birth - I will never see my son. I didn't have a child to do that. If I take the job in California I will be able to make great money and be there to raise my son. I don't understand how the law would allow my ex to move and do as he wishes and I can't take care of myself as needed.

excon · Feb 25, 2008, 04:31 PM

Hello h:

I don't understand why you think he could move out of state with your son but you can't. You're missing something here.

The fact is YOU can move to California, but you can't take your son. He can move anywhere he likes too, but he can't take his son.

excon

susangpyp · Feb 25, 2008, 04:43 PM

The court is going to want to know why you can't work in Massachusetts. Chances are slim to none that a court would be on your side and they usually won't overturn joint legal custody unless there are compelling reasons and there does not seem to be here. See a lawyer who will give a free consultation but I doubt you would get to just go. Why would you want to put 3000 miles between your child and her or her father? I've lived in Massachusetts and California and the travel back and forth between coasts gets very old after a while (I lasted 3 years).

hrhwhittier · Feb 26, 2008, 11:57 AM

I haven't worked in years and I have been offered a job to run a winery in California. I will never be able to find a job like this around here. It's an amazing opportunity that would allow me to continue to spend quality time with my son (we would be living on the estate). If I want to make money anywhere close to this I would have to go back to work in Boston and would never see my son. I don't want to purposely put miles between them and would have no problem adjusting the visitation to suit their needs. There are plenty of flexible schooling situations that we could check out - I guess though you are all saying that it doesn't look good.

susangpyp · Feb 26, 2008, 12:57 PM

If the ex wants to block it, he can. I know this might be a long shot but any chance of talking to him about it first? The opportunity in California sounds wonderful and it really is great living out there. Maybe there is something you can come up with and present it to him (like he can have your son all summer and winter vaca etc).

blonde22 · Apr 29, 2012, 06:31 PM

Knowing men- I would tell the ex you are going to ca. If he doesn't let you take your son, tell him he will have to watch him full time because you are going. Some men do not really understand the energy and commitment it is to raise a child. I give him a month and he will say it is OK for you to take him with you. Especially if he is a control freak. Kids put a dent in control. Tell him you will take him all summer and vacations.

cdad · Apr 30, 2012, 04:09 AM

Originally Posted by blonde22

Knowing men- I would tell the ex you are going to ca. If he doesn't let you take your son, tell him he will have to watch him full time because you are going. Some men do not really understand the energy and commitment it is to raise a child. I give him a month and he will say it is ok for you to take him with you. Especially if he is a control freak. Kids put a dent in control. Tell him you will take him all summer and vacations.

This is an old post. Im sure the issue has been settled. The thread is 4 years old.

As a side note your bias is showing and it appears you know nothing of the modern father figure. It's that same bias the courts have that is holding so many fathers back from their children.