A few weeks ago I asked my 17 year ols daughter if I could borrow her mobile handset as mine was broke, she said yes and give it to me the next day, I was looking throughsttings etc when I came across 11 voice recordings, curious as to what they where I listened to them, to my horror she had recorded her mums partner srcreaming abuse, swearing like mad and was ranting about their bedrooms being untidy, knowing that this idiot has a history of violence for beating his ex partner up I went to the police, who were also horrified of the contents and flagged it up with social services as they say the kids could be at risk as well as there mum (they been together about 9 years by the way), I confronted my daughter about the recordings and explained to her that I had concerns about the welfare and safety of her, her sister and their mum and as a result I had gone to the police to report him, she told me I didn't have a right to listen to them but insisted she hates her mums partner! This was 5 weeks ago and hasn't spoken to me since! Other family members have tried to speak to her to explain what I did was right as its domestic abuse but she listen to any body and I'm hurt so bad I am becoming ill, before all this I had regularly contact with my daughters and take them on holiday every year and have an excellent relationship with them, how can I justify my actions to her and re establish my relationsip with her and her sister? (Me and their mother haven't spoke for 9 years?

Craig

You and the girl's mother haven't SPOKEN in 9 years? How do you co-parent this child? Is that why you didn't take this up with the mother before you called Social Services?

At any rate - your daughter feels that you violated her privacy. I'm sure she's getting some "heat" from her mother and the boyfriend for recording the conversations in the first place and whatever Social Services does will be deemed (at least partially) to be her fault.

Did you violate her trust? Yes, I think you did. Was it necessary? I'm not certain. Only you know that.

You certainly have to keep the children safe. If keeping them safe causes your daughter to not speak to you for a period, well, that's the price you have to pay and she will just have to understand that.

I would be more comfortable with this situation if you had a different relationship with the mother. Referring to her partner as an "idiot," not speaking in a lengthy period, makes me question your reason for reporting the abuse - which, as I said, may very well be a justified report. I have not heard what was said nor do I know the details of the situation.