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    etattheshore's Avatar
    etattheshore Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 15, 2007, 09:01 AM
    Dad had custody for 12 years, now mom wants son and owes $40M in child support.
    My x-wife gave up custody of my son to me 12 years ago by the time he was 1 1/2 years old. We married and divorced within a year. I have raised my son through very hard times without ANY help from her. I have 2 other children that I PAY CHILD SUPPORT and share custody. A child support order was initiated at that time. She moved out of state and over time has managed to escape the system and never paid. An occasional call here and there, a lot of unkempt promises, and seeing him a few times over the course of 11 years for a couple of months for my son, I allowed her to remain in his life with her admitting that she won't pay. She knew that someday the courts may catch up to her. In this past year and a half, she has had another child and married a Marine. I was going through some hard times with no work and going through a divorce from my present wife and she asked if I would allow her to have him through the school year so he wouldn't have to be distracted by all the stuff that was going on. In the best interest of my son, with some promises from her, I agreed. I signed her temporary guardianship agreement so she could register him for school and he did OK there although he wanted to be with me. It has been a year as she again asked if she could keep him for another school year. Last month she got a job (on the books) and arranged direct deposit into her joint account with her husband and this past week called me hysterical that their bank and all assets are frozen. After 12 years she has been tracked. Now she is using the "I can't give your son lunch money today because my money is frozen and my husband's is as well. There is a paid airfare for him to fly home for the holidays which has been arranged by me and she now says she has no money to drive him to the airport because her money is frozen. She says I have to go to the courthouse and send a notarized statement to the child support lien officers saying that I agree to vacate the arrears and they told her if I don't that she can take me to court for custody and child support. She owes $40,000.00. She also wants to file him on her income tax. That earned income credit that I received every year is what kept us from starving. Now she wants that too. My son is there and I don't feel he should be used as a pawn. She wants me to call and explain to him why mommy doesn't have the money to put him on a plane to come home for Christmas. I am searching for a way to allow her to have the money she needs to take care of her family and my son (I'm not a bad guy) but I want to secure the fact that she can never take me to court for child support and that I will continue to claim him on my income tax. Also that i can see my son WHEN I WANT. I am willing to set up a joint arrangement. I need to find a happy medium for all involved in order to secure the happiness and welfare of my son. If anyone were to ask him where he wants to live, his response would be with my Dad (We were inseparable). But he would also say I don't want to hurt my Mom's feelings. She constantly is reminding him of how much she has to offer him that I can't give him due to my financial situation. She buys him things that she reminds him if he were to go back to Daddy's those things stay at mommies. Things like "Here you have your own room. At Daddy's you may sleep on a couch or wherever." I need guidance and I need it fast. I don't know what to do. I don't want my son stressed out over thinking he may not see me and that it's my fault; because I am sure that that is what she will try to make him believe...
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,473, Reputation: 760
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    #2

    Dec 15, 2007, 09:09 AM
    The bottom line in all of this is, she owes you $40,000 in child support arrears. Make sure you get it. If she were a man they would have caught up with her long before 12 years and long before the arrearages got to $40,000. She claims that her accounts and assets are frozen. If that's the case, are you seeing any of that money? You should take your son back and get the child support you're entitled to. Don't feel guilty about anything ; she brought this on herself by evading payments for 12 years.

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