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    Whimmy's Avatar
    Whimmy Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Dec 20, 2005, 08:24 AM
    Custody Rights to Unborn Child
    Do I automatically have custody rights to my unborn child since I am not married and paternity has not been established? Does the alleged father have legal rights to force prenatal paternity testing? Does agreeing to paternity testing automatically give him custody rights if it is determined that he is the father?
    nymphetamine's Avatar
    nymphetamine Posts: 900, Reputation: 109
    Senior Member

    Dec 20, 2005, 09:18 AM
    Im not sure how the law goes where you live. I don't see why a father would not be allowed custodial rights to his own child unless he is some sort of danger to the child. Ive been told that the father does not have the right ask for custody of the child if he is not married to the mother. I don't know whether or not this is true. I think you should contact a lawyer and speak with them on this matter. If you don't have the money then ask about legal aide. As far as parternity testing Ill let someone else tell us about that one. I didn't even know they could test for paternity before a child was born. Go figure.
    Whimmy's Avatar
    Whimmy Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Dec 20, 2005, 09:51 AM
    Hey thanks for your response. I had a CVS test done (similar to amnio) when I was 12 weeks. This is a risky, and costly procedure. I got pregnant somewhere between the break up with the alleged father and getting back together with my ex. This all was in a weeks time. I was not certain either way who the father was. I used the pull out method with my ex and a condom with the alleged father. There was no moment of oops. So in our uncertainty I let both parties know there was a possibility of them being the father. As to give closure and clarity to the situation, we all decided on the prenatal tesing. My ex showed and the other party did not. He knew where he was supposed to be, how much money he owed etc.. And never showed, never called, and I could not reach him. I had to pay his portion instead of my rent which has caused a horrible domino effect with my bills. It was determined that my ex was not the father. I wrote the alleged father after tracking down his address even though I was angry and let him know he was the father. Now a month and a half later he wants to reopen my case and do the test again. (his part) He is going to pay to have this test done instead of paying the money he owes me for the firsat test he didn't show for. He can only do this if I sign consent forms. If he had been where he was supposed to be the first time we would already know all this for sure. I am livid right now and want to wait until after the baby is born so I have more time to think about if or how I want somebody that is not dependable to be in my child's life. My main concern is my child being let down constantly in the future. Therefore I want to know my legal rights. I have to make a decision quickly about the testing because my samples will be thrown out soon. He had his chance and was a no show and screwed me up completely financially, not to mention I have no health insurance. There, I hope I have sufficiently clarified.
    CaptainForest's Avatar
    CaptainForest Posts: 3,645, Reputation: 393
    Ultra Member

    Dec 20, 2005, 11:47 AM
    What are your rights?

    Since you are unmarried, when your baby is born, ONLY your name will be put on the birth certificate. If the father wants to have his name on, he needs a paternity test and a certificate of something (name eludes me) thro the courts.

    Does he have automatic rights? No.

    At first, you will have 100% rights.

    Father must take you to court, have the court order a paternity test to be done, then after it proves he is the dad, he must tell the judge why he should have some sort of custody over the child.

    Unless he is really bad, dangerous or something, he probably will be granted some form of custody.

    Now, as for him bailing on you, why did you pay his portion, why not just leave? But assuming you had to, you can take him to small claims court to recoup the money he still owes you. Bring your ex boyfriend (now your current bf) to testify to your story (assuming he was present when the father made these comments to you).
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7691

    Dec 20, 2005, 04:02 PM
    First of course it matters what country you are from, US, England, India and so on.

    Next assuming it is the US ( and I don't know why I do that) it will depend on the state you live in.

    But in "general" and this is not legal advice but only general information.

    The Father will have rights if he finds out he is the father. And yes he can ask the court to force testing if he believes he is the father.

    If he is found to be the father he has a lot of options, visitation, even posible custody suits.

    Next you should morally tell the father he is a father, it is sad to not let them know.
    Whimmy's Avatar
    Whimmy Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Dec 20, 2005, 04:30 PM
    I've already told the father he was the father. I even set up the testing for him find out for sure. He was a no show! And left me to pay his $500 portion of the testing. Even after I heard nothing for a month I wrote him a letter to let him know he was the father. I am a Christian and moral person. I have done nothing wrong here. I just wanted to know If I could wait to go through all this crap again until after the baby is born in May. I gave him his chance. I have asked nothing from him except for what he promised. To show up and pay 1/3 of the cost. He did neither and disappeared.
    CaptainForest's Avatar
    CaptainForest Posts: 3,645, Reputation: 393
    Ultra Member

    Dec 20, 2005, 04:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Whimmy
    I just wanted to know If I could wait to go through all this crap again until after the baby is born in May.

    Most likely, yes you can.

    You can argue to the court that

    a) It causes you stress which might harm the pregnancy or, a better argument

    b) claim that you don't want to risk your baby's health again with pre-birth paternity testing.
    ReadyourBible's Avatar
    ReadyourBible Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    May 28, 2011, 03:31 PM
    "a Christian and moral person". Wow! I guess the Bible has changed the definition of what a "Christian and moral person" does and does do not do with regard to sex outside of marriage. Not judging, just saying.
    bernice1's Avatar
    bernice1 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Oct 5, 2011, 06:44 PM
    ReadyourBible: really? What is your definition of a "christian and moral person"?? God forgives everyone of their sins, only if we seek him and strive to be like him, and accept him into our lives. It says in the Bible, that every sin is equal in God's eyes. There could be a reason she got pregnant. God has a plan for everyone. There is no such thing as an accident. Even though you say you're not judging, you are. I am a christian, and I am in almost the same situation, minus the paternity testing stuff. Yeah the Bible states that sex outside of marriage is wrong, but nobody is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, and it could have happened to catch her attention. So before you start making assumptions, you should catch up on your Bible reading. Just saying...
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,688, Reputation: 1438
    Internet Research Expert

    Oct 5, 2011, 06:47 PM
    This is a very old thread. Please watch the dates. The OP's question is 6 years ago.

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