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mbrunsell · Jun 2, 2009, 09:53 AM

Michigan

Ok. Long Story. I gave my son's dad custody of our son back in 2005. HE has had custody of him since. In 2007 I motioned the court for a change of custody. My motion was denied. We were then court ordered to submit a drug test, a psychological exam, and he was ordered to attend parenting classes. Nothing came out of this.

On March 16, 2009 his father said he could live with me but was not going to change the current custodial order. On April13, 2009, my son revealed that his father has been physically abusing him the whole time he has lived with him. I.E. Slapping on the face, kicking in the lower back, grabbing by the throat, pushing/shoving. Needless to say, I brought him to the police department the following morning and filed a report.

I took him back to court on the 8th of May and once again, the Judge denied my motion because I did not have documentation with me. I did receive the order in the mail and it stated, "the courts grant plaintiff leave to re-file her motion if she can support her position with documentary evidence." I was court ordered to return my son, that day.

I am currently waiting to hear if he is being charged or if it is going to be dropped. When should I file my motion again? I am pretty sure I have all my ducks in order this time.

He also is verbally & mentally abusive, cohabiting with a married woman, has taken out son to the dentist only once, not involved in our son's education, does not have medical insurance on him....the list goes on.

Anyone go through a similar situation?

HELP!! ANY ADVICE WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED!!

stevetcg · Jun 2, 2009, 09:55 AM

Advice? Hire a lawyer. There are a whole lot of grounds to changing custody and protecting your child but it seems as though the local court is not particularly friendly to your level of legal experience.

A decent lawyer will be able to get this rectified in short order, I would think.

this8384 · Jun 2, 2009, 10:54 AM

Have you contacted the local police department to see if there have been any call reports or officer reports filed regarding your ex? That could be used as proof against him.

We're currently going through the same; my husband's ex-wife is living with an alcoholic who was arrested the day before Easter for shoving her onto the couch and into the patio door in front of her and my husband's two minor children. We requested the police report - got FIVE back from different incidents.

mbrunsell · Jun 2, 2009, 11:11 AM

No I haven't. The only police report I have is the one in regards to the child abuse situation that was revealed to me in April. I think what I am going to do is request ALL police reports filed in his name. That is what I would request, right?

this8384 · Jun 2, 2009, 12:20 PM

Originally Posted by mbrunsell

No I haven't. The only police report I have is the one in regards to the child abuse situation that was revealed to me in April. I think what I am going to do is request ALL police reports filed in his name. That is what I would request, right?

Definitely. If there are multiple reports, it's going to show a pattern. That's why the judge wants you to bring proof - so it's not just "the bitter ex" making allegations in an attempt to get custody and placement changed.

The police department can search for reports by name, by which phone number the call came from and by address. Get copies of anything and everything that you can.

mbrunsell · Jun 2, 2009, 12:40 PM

Thank you so much for your response!

mbrunsell · Jun 3, 2009, 04:04 PM

I have a question.

I received a copy of the police report today. The ending stated:

"At this time, I will be sending a warrant request over to the prosecutor's office for physical abuse, child abuse, against (I am leaving the name out) Also, please fax a copy of this entire report to child protective services."

DOES THIS MEEN THAT THE DETECTIVE THOUGHT THERE WAS ENOUGH EVIDENCE TO PRESS CHARGES? I NEED AN ANSWER! SOME SORT OF EXPERT KNOWLEDGE AS TO WHAT THESE WORDS MEEN.

THANKS!

stevetcg · Jun 3, 2009, 04:47 PM

Yes, the detective believes there is enough evidence for the DA's office to press charges.

If the DA agrees with the detectives assessment, you can bet there will be a uniform showing up at home or work to arrest <name removed> in a day or two.

In addition, CPS may, regardless of what the DA does, open and pursue their own case against <name removed> and there is a fair chance that the child will be taken into protective custody.

Is <name removed> you?

mbrunsell · Jun 3, 2009, 06:16 PM

No, it is my son's father. I am in the process of filing a motion with the court for a change of custody. Any thoughts? Suggestions?

JudyKayTee · Jun 4, 2009, 08:22 AM

Originally Posted by mbrunsell

No, it is my son's father. I am in the process of filing a motion with the court for a change of custody. Any thoughts? Suggestions?

Yes. File the Motion and the Court will take this invetigation into consideration.

How did the father get custody originally? Were you deemed unfit? If so I see problems with custody of this child.

mbrunsell · Jun 4, 2009, 06:24 PM

I gave him custody of our son back in 2005 because I was moving out of the school district.

I am not an unfit mother
I am not the one with a record

excon · Jun 5, 2009, 04:33 AM

Originally Posted by mbrunsell

I am not an unfit mother... I am not the one with a record

Hello m:

Yet, you gave your son to a man WITH a record. That don't make you FIT.

excon

mbrunsell · Jun 5, 2009, 05:04 AM

I know. I realize that. If I could go back and change things, I would.

JudyKayTee · Jun 5, 2009, 05:35 AM

Originally Posted by mbrunsell

I know. I realize that. If I could go back and change things, I would.

You are going to have an uphill fight. On one hand you are arguing that the father is a danger to the son (which is pretty much the only reason to change custody once it has been ordered, unless you can agree) and on the other hand you are arguing that you knew he was a danger but let him take custody anyway.

And a bit of time has gone by.

I see problems in all directions.

Again, this is nothing to be attempted without an Attorney. I see you both losing custody.

mbrunsell · Jun 5, 2009, 05:43 AM

My son's father did not have these charges before I gave him custody. There is more to the story than what I want to share.

I was already told by child protective services that I have a good chance of getting him back.

JudyKayTee · Jun 5, 2009, 05:52 AM

Originally Posted by mbrunsell

My son's father did not have these charges before I gave him custody. There is more to the story than what I want to share.

I was already told by child protective services that I have a good chance of getting him back.

I hope it works out for you. If you've already been told by people familiar with the circumstances that you have a good chance to getting your son back I don't know why you're posting here. We obviously don't have the info CPS has and so we're just guessing.

As a side note - please combine your questions on the same topic instead of posting them in different threads in different places.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...ml#post1778586

mbrunsell · Jun 5, 2009, 05:55 AM

In the state of Michigan...

Does anyone know at what age a child can have a say in court where they desire to live?

ScottGem · Jun 5, 2009, 06:06 AM

A child can express their preference, but they don't have a "say". Only a judge can make the decision. Some states do provide guidelines of how much weight should be given the child'd preference, Michigan is not one of them.

If the child wants to change custodial parents, then the NON-Custodial parent has to go to court and file for modification of the custody order. Whether the judge will talk to the child and how much weight they put on the child's preference is totally up to the judge.

ScottGem · Jun 5, 2009, 06:09 AM

I just saw your other post:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/crimin...se-361117.html

Why are you concerned with the child's preference? You seem to have a good case that the father is unfit. If you are concerned because the child wants to stay with the father, then don't get him involved.

mbrunsell · Jun 5, 2009, 09:25 AM

Well, I just got a call from the detective and he said the prosecutors determined that the warrant request is denied

I am still going to go through with my motion for change of custody for the fact that my son wants to live with me

I have other factors too