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mamatobee · Nov 21, 2006, 12:31 PM

I'm currently 9 months pregnant and having a hard time deciding if I should even attempt to ask for child support. My ex works for his mother's business. He doesn't pay taxes and she just pays him cash whenever. His mom also owns 2 houses, which he lives in for free, no rent, no mortgage, no car payment, the only thing in his name is a credit card. I know child support is based on both of our incomes and he "legally doesn't have one and doesn't even pay taxes. His family profits a lot of money and are well off financily, but he has no responsibility. How will this work?

mr.yet · Nov 21, 2006, 12:40 PM

File for the child support, he will have to provide the court with proof of income, if not the can order him to get a job and pay the support you are filing for.

What state do you live?

excon · Nov 21, 2006, 12:41 PM

Hello mama:

I believe the court will "project" his income based upon his lifestyle and base child support on that. Don't you dare give up. Even at a minimum (and you'll get lots more), we're talking about $20,000 or so over the next 18 years. Can you afford to give up that kind of dough? Besides, it's for your child.

excon

mamatobee · Nov 21, 2006, 12:52 PM

I live in PA. It would really be nice if the court made him get a job. He needs to grow up. I think his family doesn't want the system involved because they don't want to get in trouble. Not that this has anything to do with it but they are asian and not very americanized. It's so frusterating... and if I do file for support than I know he has rights to our son. Not sure If I want that either. He hasn't proven much responsibility to me..

mr.yet · Nov 21, 2006, 12:57 PM

File For the support, you have evrything to lose if you don't. Courts today, since this has become a national problem, work hard to make sure the child get what they need.

Think of the child first.

mommytobe · Nov 21, 2006, 01:01 PM

I'm 5mo pregnant and am going through the same thing, this is my suggestion go for the support you'll get it some how if his mom wants to support him then good the child is part of him so shell end up paying it for him to keep him from any jail time sucks but shell learn after awhile that its his responsibility and hell have to become responsible for his own actions.dont feel greedy,at least your taking care of the child by doing what's right

ScottGem · Nov 21, 2006, 01:27 PM

Definitely file for support. The worst that can happen if its denied. But if they don't want the courts involved they may offer support to keep it from the courts.

mamatobee · Nov 21, 2006, 01:50 PM

Which they already have. At my baby shower his sister gave me a $300 check written by his mom. She tells me not to worry and let her know if I need anything. What my unborn son needs is a REAL man to be a father... but we haven't been communicating. Last I heard from him was in Sept. and he already shown interest in other girls and doesn't want to be a "family". Sorry I could go on and on. Guess it's just hard looking past all of this. I have a lot to think about. Even though he insits that things will change once the baby is here I told him I will still plan on filing for support.

ScottGem · Nov 21, 2006, 02:12 PM

You don't have to file if they are willing to put it in writing. But you do need a written agreement, properly witnessed that specifies a monthly amount. Tell them unless they draw up something, you will have to go to family court. If they draw up something do NOT sign it until you have it reviewed by your attorney.

J_9 · Nov 21, 2006, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by mamatobee

What my unborn son needs is a REAL man to be a father...but we havn't been communicating.

You have gotten GREAT advice here. Just understand that child support will not make him a REAL man or a father. It is just to help you financially for your child.

valinors_sorrow · Nov 21, 2006, 02:28 PM

I agree with both Scott and Janine - excellent advice. Additionally, I believe (at least where I live) he has legal rights to the child regardless of and separate frm the child support issues so don't let that slow you down - it's a non issue. This is about providing for the child so its time to be quite business-like about it. The nature of your relationship with him or his lack of parental involvement beyond child support is best handled as a totally separate deal.