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    gabrielJG's Avatar
    gabrielJG Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 29, 2006, 04:00 PM
    Child Support and Child Custody
    I was wondering If child support and child custody are the same. I have a six year old daughter and I want to see her badly but her mother is holding child support over my head. I'm not saying she shouldn't but I have given her money on many occasions and for a year consitantly. Yet she refuses to report the money I have given her to child support and now I am behind. I am trying to catch up with child support but she says since Im not current with child support I cannot see my daughter. That doesn't seem right to me considering that for a year I gave her 500-600 a month consistenly. Can anyone please give me some advice! Im just a father who wants to see my little girl:(
    KISSROMEO2's Avatar
    KISSROMEO2 Posts: 33, Reputation: 0
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    #2

    Nov 29, 2006, 09:23 PM
    I suggest you speak to a lawyer or someone in domestic relations (usually in the courthouse). If your name isn't on the birth certificate, you may not have immediate rights. But if you are, there is NOTHING keeping you away from that child. If you are paying child support, that in itself proves you are the father and means you have RIGHTS . I'm pretty sure the money you have given her would be considered "A gift" (because I've been screwed by it) but make sure you consult domestic relations and being paying through the court ordered payment schedule, etc, and ask about arrears, etc. Do you have an official court order? Child support is the payments you make to support that child. Custody is who has physical and legal custody. My daughter's father pays child support and has no interest in his daughter. However, if he paid child support but never went after his rights for custody and to visit her, he' screwed. Hense why I'm asking - have you ever had a custody agreement? If you haven't, you need to get an attorney and get one. You need to make sure you tell the attorney everything including the money you have already paid her in attempt to make him/her understand that you are trying to get in touch with your daughter... I hope that helps! I am so sorry you are in this situation! If you read my question, I'm in a similar situation. Best of luck!
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #3

    Nov 30, 2006, 08:01 AM
    Hello gabe:

    No, they are not the same thing. One is court ordered visitation. Another is court ordered child support. You may go to court to enforce your parental (visitation) rights, just as she's gone to court to enforce her parental (support) rights. I hope you do.

    That said, her parental rights are just as important as yours, maybe even more so. More importantly, YOUR child is entitled to the support you owe her. Therefore, in addition to your regular job, I suggest that you collect cans out of dumpsters in the wee hours of the morning, when it's real cold and miserable out, to make sure your child support payments are up to date.

    excon
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Nov 30, 2006, 09:38 AM
    No they are not the same, if you don't pay she has the right to take you back to court to get the court to inforce your paying,

    You have visitation rights, these are not tied to any other part of the agreement, so you have to take her back to court for denying your visitation and being in violation of the agreement.
    hollyski's Avatar
    hollyski Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Nov 30, 2006, 10:20 PM
    Child support is money you pay your ex wife to assist her in raising your child. Child custody is a term used in reference who the child lives with and who is the day to day primary care giver. As for any child support payments, make sure you have physical proof, of the payments being made, (receipt for money order, old checks) to have as proof to the courts of any payments. Never pay cash. No she can not legally keep you from seeing your child esp. if you have a visitation order setup. She could be held in contempt of court if she does prevent you. Some states have "friend of court" to help assist in some legal paperwork, but I would definitely seek legal advice. Just as a fyi some states will charge interest on your past due amount of owed child support.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #6

    Dec 2, 2006, 11:00 AM
    Child support and child custody are two separate issues. There needs to be a court order for each in order for them to be enforceable. Mom has to sue you for child support and you have to petition the court for an order of visitation which Mom is then bound to. These occur in separate actions. If no such actions have taken place then all bets are off. I hope you have documentation of whatever support money you've already given Mom of your own accord as that should help keep her from soaking you for arrearages if and when she does sue you for child support. If Mom does decide to sue you for child support, then make her prove that you are the Dad by getting an order for a DNA test. If it comes up positive, then you'll probably have to pay the expense. If it comes up negative, then you'll probably sharer the cost. A bit of a double standard, I know, but that's the usual arrangement for paying the expenses in a DNA case to prove paternity. A positive DNA test will justify you paying child support and help you to assert your paternal rights.
    patawad's Avatar
    patawad Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jan 22, 2011, 05:44 AM
    I have a friend her problem is about a child enough sopport to her 1 year old son.. the father of her son is danish.. the father is sending her every month that is 50 dollars a month.. but intime if her son got sick.. only a insult words can she receive.. the father of her son aknowledge the birth certificate... he cannot deny.. the father of her son have a good business in denmart.. almoost 2 years he give only a 50 dollars.. a month.. and please help me.. my friend is living here in the philippines.. thank you...
    GV70's Avatar
    GV70 Posts: 2,918, Reputation: 283
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    #8

    Jan 22, 2011, 10:16 AM
    1 This topic is from Nov 29, 2006:eek:


    Quote Originally Posted by patawad View Post
    i have a friend her problem is about a child enough sopport to her 1 year old son.. the father of her son is danish.. the father is sending her every month that is 50 dollars a month.. but intime if her son got sick.. only a insult words can she recieve.. the father of her son aknowledge the birth certificate... he cannot deny.. the father of her son have a good business in denmart.. almoost 2 years he give only a 50 dollars.. a month.. and please help me.. my friend is living here in the philippines.. thank you...
    The only way for her is to go to Denmark and to settle child support payments through Danish Court.

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