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    Can I be punished for reporting alleged child abuse?

    Asked Feb 6, 2015, 01:38 AM 19 Answers
    This is pretty graphic. During my daughters divorce in 2010, My ex son-in-law was accused of molesting my two grandsons. The accuser was his 2 1/2 year old son and his 4 year old son. The youngest son Durell (not his real name) told his therapist that his "daddy licked his butt and got poop on his tongue". The oldest son Brad (nhrn) made a disclosure but it was never reported to anyone as to what he said. We have documentation stating this. Signed by the therapist, stating "both the children made accusations of molestation by the father" she did not report it because she thought my daughter had already reported it. It was 30 days after the accusation, that she told us what Durell said. My daughter got a DVP and went to court but at the time she did not have a statement from the therapist. (It took over a year to get).

    The judge ordered an investigation, but the father refused to talk. The children had a forensic examination which was inconclusive. Although, Durell was video taped, when the examiner asked about body parts, she pointed to an anatomically correct drawing and Durell picked up a red marker and colored the penis and buttocks of the drawing. She asked what those body parts were (he answered all the other parts correctly, ie; face, hand, leg etc.) and Direll said "Blood"! She moved on through the exam and never acknowledge his answer! The detective was present watching through a two way mirror. The detective never said anything and he never documented it. My daughter has the videos of both the children's interviews. Also in the beginning of the divorce her husband left Durell in a hot car in 90 degree weather while he grocery shopped. It was also reported and he even made and signed his own confession, so my daughter would forgive him. When she went to court, the judge didn't want to see any evidence, called my daughter a liar and took her children from her, and gave the father full custody. Prior to this "She" had full custody, with the father having visitation rights only. It took a year for her to get visitation rights.

    My husband and I have spent $24,00.00 in attorneys fees for her and the boys, and we have gotten nowhere. My question is... Can this legally happen to her because she reported the crime and tried to protect her kids? When my husband and I went to the prosecutor about it, he told us he was going to indict the father, and go after the therapist. Instead, he went to the judge and they took me and my husband away from the children!! And he ordered my daughter to control her parents or she would lose her kids forever!! We haven't seen them in 4 years! We have no more money for attorneys. I know this sounds far fetched and bizarre, but it is the Gods honest truth! We don't know what to do! We live in the state of WV. There is plenty more that has happened but it would take pages and pages to tell it all.

    Should we take it public? My daughter is scared for herself and we are all afraid for the children and what they may be enduring. Thank you for your help! Sorry it is so lengthy!

    Last edited by talaniman; Feb 6, 2015 at 08:39 AM.
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    19 Answers
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,248, Reputation: 7689
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    #2

    Feb 6, 2015, 02:56 AM


    Assuming all facts as given, it appears it happens. Where was your daughters lawyer when the judge did not want to see evidence. Evidence should have been filed with the case, and on file with the court. No surprise evidence like on TV.

    But in court, is there is disturbance, yelling or name calling, that often hurts a case. Judges are used to people lying in court and often they assume it is.

    Judges do not have to believe anyone, and can often rule as they feel.
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    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,684, Reputation: 1438
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    #3

    Feb 6, 2015, 04:50 AM
    If the story your telling is true then yes if you dig it all up again you face possible lawsuits of the highest order.

    This had already been investigated. From the sounds of it it appears the children were coached. A DA has already been through the evidence and now 4 years later your wanting to revisit it because you miss your grandchildren.

    Lets this go and try to make peace in your life. Try to reunite with your grandchildren on another level besides using force.
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    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #4

    Feb 6, 2015, 09:07 AM
    I'm having trouble with this story partly by the way it starts - a 4 year old and a 2 1/2 year old were the accusers???

    I find that an extremely important statement. Therefore I am only going to say that I feel very very sad for those two boys, and not one shred of feeling for any of the adults involved.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,813, Reputation: 10851
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    #5

    Feb 6, 2015, 10:41 AM
    For now its pretty obvious you back off and regroup. I see no good at pushing forward with your only motivation to see your grand kids. I think the parent have muddied the whole thing to get their way.

    Poor kids.
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    Den Mother 08's Avatar
    Den Mother 08 Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Feb 6, 2015, 10:53 AM
    I really don't understand this thinking here! These children have been molested, and I am supposed to drop it?? Of coarse I want to see my grandchildren, but my main goal is getting someone to do a real investigation, and put all the cards on the table. The prosecuting attorney in this county was just fired for his own child abuse where he beat his son!
    And how can I, my husband r anyone get sued when we have documentation to back it all up? The previous attorney is no longer on the case, and my grandsons are exhibiting some horrible behavior and acting out vehemently in school. I will never stop trying to help them! I believe them!! My question is, with a CPS commercial that begs for people to step up, and report any abuse, even if you are wrong, because it could save one child" out on the airwaves, if they bring suite against me isn't that contradicting what they want
    Us to do? In WV if you know about child abuse don't report it you can be held liable! So it sounds like damned if I do damned if I don't! I don't get it!!
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    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #7

    Feb 6, 2015, 02:46 PM
    You were ordered away and your daughter was warned about you. YOU ARE NOT PART OF THE CASE. You have no rights. The Court seems to have deemed you to be meddlesome.
    "The accuser was his 2 1/2 year old son and his 4 year old son." Again - that sentence chills me to the bone. You think you can put all the accusations on 2 small children, who can't possibly understand what is going on, while they try to please one parent or the other, or both. No wonder they are screwed up - because of adults manipulating them.
    "We have documentation stating this. Signed by the therapist, stating "both the children made accusations of molestation by the father" she did not report it because she thought my daughter had already reported it." That makes absolutely NO SENSE. A therapist never, ever listens to children talk about molestation and then say Oh, I thought the mother reported it. This is clearly a therapist who thinks the children were coached.
    STOP saying they were molested. You weren't there. You have zero proof.
    STAY out of this. Legally, you have to or yes, you can be charged with interference!!!

    It is sad enough that couples break up when there are small children. It is heartbreaking when the parents use the children as pawns to vent their anger and to punish the ex.
    STAY AWAY!!!
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    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,684, Reputation: 1438
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    #8

    Feb 6, 2015, 02:52 PM
    You do what you have to do. If there is new and true evidence then take it to the powers that be. It is from your explanation that this whole thing sounds fishy. You might want to do some reading up.

    McMartin preschool trial - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    The McMartin Daycare Case € How it Began € Crime Library




    Making accusations of this magnitude shouldnt be something you throw around easily
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    Den Mother 08's Avatar
    Den Mother 08 Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #9

    Feb 6, 2015, 10:53 PM
    Joypulv, first if all you have no knowledge of this case! Unless by coincidence you happen to be one of the people involved in this case and recognized this post! The children did both state that they were sexually assaulted by their dad! Child abuse is a felony and there is no statute of limitations! And there are way more details that I couldn't possibly list here. This case has been going in for 4 1/2 years.
    I happen to be their grandmother and I will stop at nothing to see that someone somewhere takes this information and runs with it to help these babies! I love them more than anything.
    What kind of grandmother would I be if I didn't keep pushing until someone listens? Who could lay down and sleep at night?
    Where I come from families stick together and I made my grandsons a promise that we all would protect them and make sure they are safe.
    Not one person has put anything on these children except their father and step mother! My daughter has never spoken a bad word about their father, to the children! We do have proof that they are telling the truth! Children that age cannot have any knowledge about the things my grand kids have said! It's beyond their thought process and reasoning to know that they can make this up and get something so ugly started!
    When my daughters attorney tried to enter evidence to the judge he said he didn't want to see anything because he doesn't believe it is true. How many times have children been molested and no one believed them, only to find out years later that it was true and by then the kids are so screwed up that they are getting into trouble. You have no idea, the things that these children have acted out and said.
    How would you know what kind of proof I have anyway??
    I came on here to ask a simple question. Seems funny to me that you are drawing huge conclusions without being privy to all the details and information.
    These are not frivolous accusations! They are serious and very true! The family court is corrupt!
    And you say it doesn't concern me?? Do you have children and grandchildren? Don't judge me and judge me so vehemently you don't know me.
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    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,245, Reputation: 5641
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    #10

    Feb 7, 2015, 12:01 AM


    Let's go back a bit. You say the children were 2 1/2 and 4 years old, right? How did this supposed molestation come to light within the family? Children this young rarely come out and say that they have been molested. They are scared, threatened, or don't understand this is wrong (the 2 1/2year old). So how did this come to light? Were they acting out? Was this discovered during a diaper change? Was the father caught in the act?

    Children this young are easily coached by an adult who is desperate.

    Truth be told, you do come off a bit overbearing. If you acted in this manner in front of the court it's not surprising you aren't allowed to see these children.

    So, let's start from the beginning and be calm about it. How did these allegations come to light?
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    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,245, Reputation: 5641
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    #11

    Feb 7, 2015, 12:13 AM


    This is pretty graphic. During my daughters divorce in 2010, My ex son-in-law was accused of molesting my two grandsons. The accuser was his 2 1/2 year old son and his 4 year old son. The youngest son Durell (not his real name) told his therapist that his "daddy licked his butt and got poop on his tongue". The oldest son Brad (nhrn) made a disclosure but it was never reported to anyone as to what he said. We have documentation stating this. Signed by the therapist, stating "both the children made accusations of molestation by the father" she did not report it because she thought my daughter had already reported it.
    I would like to add that a therapist is required by law to report a crime of this nature whether it has been reported by another person. This statement is what makes it look like the children were coached and you and your daughter are simply being vindictive.

    Also, out of curiosity, why were the children seeing a therapist? Many children this young go through divorce without a therapist.
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    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
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    #12

    Feb 7, 2015, 06:44 AM
    I under stand your ire at our comments. But frankly, I have to feel there is more here then you are saying. I just find it hard to believe that a court would rule as it did based on your account. The most telling piece is the prosecutor telling you he would prosecute then changing his tune after talking to the judge. He apparently learned something from the judge that made him change.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,813, Reputation: 10851
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    #13

    Feb 7, 2015, 07:19 AM
    Any outsider looking in would be helpless to advise you. I mean from what you have written, the whole system in WVA is corrupt. From the cops, to social services, to the judge, YOUR lawyer.

    All I can see that you can do is consult with a new attorney. Maybe with fresh eyes, and the documentation, you can get somewhere. That leaves the money it will take for this and that may be negotiable. I doubt you get anywhere trying to get social services to reinvestigate this.

    What gets me more is you never noticed anything until the divorce. Yes I have children and grandchildren, and would notice undo changes in happy healthy children. If indeed your grands are in therapy now, surely someone has seen and verified these disproved allegations, but so far they have not, so backup and revisit your position grandma, as obviously you fight alone, which brings us to your own daughter.

    What is she doing to protect her own kids? Where is she in this after you have spent all this money?
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    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #14

    Feb 7, 2015, 09:02 AM
    A good therapist can often tell when children have been coached.
    You have no proof that your daughter didn't coach them.
    I based what I said on what YOU said about the therapist, the lawyers, and the judge. I'm not going to repeat it.
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    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,684, Reputation: 1438
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    #15

    Feb 7, 2015, 09:23 AM
    Im sorry if you feel ganged up on. But we have to go by what has been said by your post. We all would love nothing more then to hang the sob that molests children. But you must also understand that we take that charge very seriously. We realize that it has the power to destroy lives if unproven. It is one of the few charges that can follow you for life even if innocent.
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    ZoeyKeeton1's Avatar
    ZoeyKeeton1 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Feb 7, 2015, 12:36 PM
    Wow... How did the first allegation come about? Was it happening before the divorce or after?
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    Den Mother 08's Avatar
    Den Mother 08 Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #17

    Feb 7, 2015, 12:38 PM
    Before I say any more, are any of you legal advisors, lawyers, and/or knowledgeable about the law? I have honest questions and need help in this I'm not just here to give people something to fill up your days. I know I come off overbearing at times because I am so passionate about my grand kids! All children for that matter. I can start at the beginning but I'm not going to just entertain everyone. I don't have money to jump around town looking for answers.
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    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
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    #18

    Feb 7, 2015, 02:14 PM
    There are a some of us that have legal or paralegal training. But the lack of formal training does not negate the value of our advice. Most peple don't respond to questions unless they feel they have value to contribute. Those that don't contribute value are questioned.

    The bottom line here is that we offer advice based on 2 factors, our knowledge and the facts you present. If those facts don't jive we our knowledge, then we have to question those facts. That is the situation here. As someone else said according to your facts you are dealing with either a totally corrupt and incompetent set of courts, prosecutors, therapists, etc. Or something is not fright in your story. The former is very hard to believe. I don't believe you not telling us the truth as you know it, but we are only hearing your side.

    If you want to answer our questions and fill in the blanks, it may change the advice we can give,
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    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,801, Reputation: 2674
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    #19

    Feb 7, 2015, 02:20 PM
    Then it is a good thing this website is free. @den mother.

    My my two cents is, nothing you have posted is credible, according to us and the judiciary system in your state. I don't see where you indicated CPS were involved in any of allegations. The therapist would have had to notify CPS of the abuse.

    Tell us about CPS?
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    Den Mother 08's Avatar
    Den Mother 08 Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #20

    Feb 7, 2015, 03:29 PM
    Ok I am putting together a time line and the story as it went. Give me a few minuets please.
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