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    tippy2's Avatar
    tippy2 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 7, 2010, 05:40 PM
    Can I place my 17 year old daughter in a group home if she refuses to stay in thehome
    She had me arrested 6 months ago for refraining her from leaving and has since been seeing a 23 year old in which the local state and county tells me she's able to do and refuses to come home the state cops are looking for her now but I know it will be a short stay can I have her placed in the system as she so often tells me she wants. I feel I have no rights and no path to understand the laws in New York any help would be appreciated we have been in family counsling for 8 months to no avail. Are last appt. was this past Friday afternoon for her to steal my vehicle later in the evening and returning to run away
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    Sep 7, 2010, 05:56 PM


    Exactly who is trying to tell you a 17 year old can screw anyone she wants... any age she wants, and a parent can't do or say anything? Have her arrested for attempted theft of your car... take pictures of it if you can... if she acts up in the house threatening you, call the police, have her arrested. If you have a video camera to prove it all the better.

    Change the locks... don't give her a key. If she can have you charged for refusing to let her out... then you don't have to let her back in. Change your phone number to an unlisted one, trust me... she WILL learn her actions have consequences.. sometimes severe ones, make that lesson as quick and hard as you can.

    There comes a time when some people need to be put out. Remove her from your will, if you don't have one yet make one and leave her out even if it means giving it ALL to the church or charity, otherwise she will get it all if she's an only child when she hastens your demise.

    No parent (no person PERIOD in fact) HAS to put up with that sort of abuse and agrivation. She wants to be a tramp... then completely cut her off any help and support. And stick to it. No it won't be easy, but what are the alternatives at this point?

    Your physical and mental health are more important at this point. She is unworthy of your caring... time she learns some life lessons the hard way.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Sep 7, 2010, 07:27 PM

    Well said, If she has a cell phone you pay for, cancel it, if she has any "money card" that you allow, cancel it.
    Don't ever allow her to use your car after what she has done, she has no right,

    If this adult is interfering with your custody of your child, get him charged, that is a popular charge here in Georgia anyway.

    Take with Juv authorities and arrange Juv detention or perhaps my favorite a boot camp for her when they get her.
    tippy2's Avatar
    tippy2 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Sep 9, 2010, 09:45 AM
    As far as holding her here or locking her out I will be charged with neglect until she reaches 18 however I will still be responsible legally for her in the state of NY until she reaches 21. She is allowed to quit school at 16 engage in sex with any age at 17 be confide in my home until 18 and responsible like I said until 21 is it not unheard of. The cops finally Tuesday night located her and returned her to the home but told me not to take her phone or have any verbal communication with her she has now been here two days and has said nothing and still has her phone and the week-end is coming from which I'm bracing for the worse. I called all places within our county office building and the most they offer is more counsling which she already is in. I want to have her place in a reform controlled place but am told by our officials I can't if any one knows of a service that I can check available in NY I would appreciate the infor.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #5

    Sep 9, 2010, 10:04 AM

    Get a hold of a lawyer... you are getting incorrect information from more than one source.

    There is no way you have to have someone this abusive in your house, and there is no possible way you HAVE to support and live with an abusive 18 year old much less until the age of 21. THere is no legal right to a three year free ride of they can do anything they want and force you to pay for it. The MOST that can even be remotely expected would be three squares and a bed. Food and a roof is support... everything else is a luxury.

    At 18 she is legally an adult and she CAN be put out, particularly with her behaviour. Until she is 18 she is a minor and you as a parent CAN take away her TV, her phone and everything else she has as punishment, except witholding food or a place to sleep.

    The next time she gets abusive... call 911, and charge her with assult. Next time she breaks things... call 911, next time she even just verbally threatens you... call 911.

    But get a lawyer... listen to what THEY have to say. It sounds like you are getting advice from a bunch of half-wits.

    Just because someone has a badge doesn't mean they have a clue... or are right.

    The police as well as many government agencies are full of idiots that would never have their job if it wasn't for afirmative action. You may have to show them respect... but doesn't mean what they say is automatically correct by default.

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