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IncognitoOne · May 10, 2012, 12:38 PM

I'm in a situation where the mother of my son and I were never together. We established paternity and I have been paying child support, up to date, for two years. We never set up court ordered visitation, but I see him on a regular basis (every week, sometimes every other, depending on her). Recently, he's been acting out and she's having a hard time dealing with him since she has another daughter with another guy. He's also rough with the other daughter (he's two and a half). She wants to give me full custody, but I've heard that sometimes the judge might not let her and might give me sole physical, joint legal. I'm a little weary having her still have joint legal because she and I can't always agree and since she still wants to be with me, she sometimes makes decisions just to spite me.

Basically, what I'm asking is if I file for sole physical and legal and she agrees, will the judge allow it or will he try to force joint legal? Will he try to persuade her to do joint legal instead of giving me full? Is there anything else I should know?

cdad · May 10, 2012, 01:25 PM

If you both agree then a judge will sign it so long as she is aware of what she is doing. I would recommend joint legal but if your both agreeing then its your own business.

Having said that. There isn't much difference between the two. You can still make the decisions. And if there are some that your worried about like healthcare or schooling then you can through the courts gain first rights to choose.

Fr_Chuck · May 10, 2012, 02:29 PM

Even with joint "legal" if the two people do not agree, it is normally written where the parent with physcial custody has the choice. But you as the father will file for custody of the child and go to court, it is more than just signing,

IncognitoOne · May 10, 2012, 07:46 PM

I just wanted to make sure.

She's agreeing to this on the condition that I don't go after child support. In the initial agreement, if I opt out of it will I be able to go back for it later on?

Fr_Chuck · May 10, 2012, 08:06 PM

Yes, but you have to ask for the current support order to be stopped, and the court may order it anyway, if you go for custody.

Also if you take any government assistance at all, they will go after the other parent