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    SugarCaine's Avatar
    SugarCaine Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 18, 2009, 11:38 AM
    California- age that a child can choose which parent to live with.
    I have 2 step boys that live in California with their mother. She moved them their without going through the courts, and hasn’t re done the parenting plan.. I believe that my husband has more rights then he thinks..
    But I know he has one thing against him.. She originally moved to Oregon from Washington Five years ago, stating that she found work there. My husband was more than happy for her considering he couldn’t get her to work the entire time he was with her. He figured this would be good for his boys who were in her custody to have a working mom.
    Come to find out months after she moved that she moved there because of a guy she met on line.
    My husband didn’t think that there was anything that he could do to change things considering that he could not afford the court fees.
    Now she has moved with her boyfriend to California. Only giving short notice.
    Both of the boys want to come back to Washington to live with their dad.
    But we don’t know if the courts will allow them to choose. We need to know what age that will be possible..
    And how to go about things..

    Does anyone have any advice.. or experience that they could tell me about?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Aug 18, 2009, 11:48 AM

    Its not a matter of the boys choosing it is a matter of going back to court and fighting for his rights.

    To say you want the children choosing instead of your husband stepping up and doing right is about equivalent to one parent saying you can't go to the movies and the other saying you can so we'll let the kids decide.
    It doesn't happen that way.

    You take it to court and the Judge rules.

    The kids can decide when they turn 18
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #3

    Aug 18, 2009, 11:52 AM
    No, the court will not allow the boys to "choose" to live with their dad as opposed to their mom. The court makes that decision, not the boys. What was stipulated in the initial parenting plan? Was a custody order ever established? And if so, what was the arrangement? That is what would determine whether it was legal for the mother to freely move with the boys from Washington to Oregon to California. If such a move was in fact a violation of the initial order then your husband can return to court and ask that the order be enforced. Now how easy it'll be to do so is another issue. You did mention that he consented to the move to Oregon, albeit under false pretenses. But the fact that he OKed that initial move may make things a little harder for him. Now, if the initial order was such that she was free to make these moves, then he can file a motion to modify the existing order and try to compel her to return the boys to Washington or at least to arrange for regular visitation with her bearing the brunt of the responsibility for travel arrangements. But again, asking for something and actually getting it are 2 different things. You may want to start with an local, experienced Family Law attorney. Contact your local Bar Association's Lawyer Referral Service and advise them that you need to consult with an experienced Family Law attorney. (S)he can advise you as to what course to pursue and what to expect.
    cadillac59's Avatar
    cadillac59 Posts: 1,326, Reputation: 94
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    #4

    Aug 18, 2009, 07:33 PM

    The kids don't get to choose where to live until they are 18 and no longer subject to custody orders in the first place. So that's a non-issue.

    If there is an existing WA custody order and the dad remained in WA after the mom's move to OR (and then to CA), the dad can return to court in WA to modify the order and seek custody of the kids.
    melmonterey's Avatar
    melmonterey Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Sep 15, 2009, 05:36 PM
    First of all every state is different.

    And the courts will listen to the boys if the are considered the age of reason (different in each state). The boys won't choose, like someone else said. But the older they are (high school is a good age), the more weight their opinion has. But if their opinion doesn't represent their best interest and only represents that their mom is making them have a curfew and making them clean their room and they want to live with dad now, because he is a push over... the judge won't give their opinions any weight.

    That being said, the only questions you can ask is...

    1) how does the mother moving to California change the father's access to the boys? (he won't see them as often or regularly)
    2) did the mother move to California solely to infringe upon the father's access to the boys?
    3) does the move to California intervene with the boys' rights or health and welfare. (this is hard to prove, this is more asking if the children won't have access to medical care, education, or is the mother's new home unhealty, unsanitary, are the boys in any danger?)

    If you can answer any of those with a yes, he would have the right to go to court and ask to change custody or change visitation.

    Call a local family attorney, many of them will have a free initial consultation.

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