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    jjwshadowcaster's Avatar
    jjwshadowcaster Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 11, 2011, 06:31 PM
    Burial of ashes?
    My girlfriends dad passed back in December of 2011 and its now September of 2012 and he was spouse to be buried back in spring its been almost a year and she is really stressed out and I wan to know if there a way to take ownership of the ashes from her older brother so he can be buried and she can move on and if there is what kind of lawyer can help I have had know luck finding one and it was her dads wishes to no be a burden on them but its rally taking its tile on here has trying to take everything from here even wheat's hers that her dad bought for her plaza can you help me to find a solution to fix this so she can move on I fear for here mental state of m end all the time has all she had before me and I'm doing me best and don't know what to do thank you for your time
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Sep 11, 2011, 06:37 PM
    Perhaps counseling to allow her to let it go and move on with her life, dealing with his death. Have they done a memorial and a service for the dad ?

    If there was an estate, who ever was over the estate or who was named in the will took control of the ashes.
    You will need a probate attorney to deal with the ashes and go to, or back to probate court to determine who gets the ashes. Unless the dad had paid for and had already made arrangements for cremation and burial, the family is free to change the plans.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #3

    Sep 11, 2011, 06:38 PM
    There is no reason to feel that ashes must be buried. I didn't bury either of my parent's ashes and most people don't. And my brother didn't get his third of my mother's until 5 years after she was cremated, and he didn't mind that I held them here until he visited.

    As for possessions, it would be best if she asked here. We need to know where she lives and what her father's will specified, for one thing.
    jjwshadowcaster's Avatar
    jjwshadowcaster Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Sep 11, 2011, 06:49 PM
    He didn't have a will. Andi don't know what to tell her she like to go against what I say she's head strong a good trate she get for her dad but she does have a death ceterifict and if there no will is there a way to go to court to she if she can take posseion of the ashes
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #5

    Sep 11, 2011, 07:02 PM
    First, I'm going to ask you to please proofread your posts before submitting. Your questions are barely understandable with a lot of misspelled or misused words making it hard to help you. Also since it is only Sept 2011, I don't see how her dad could have passed in Dec 2011. I'm assuming you meant 2010.

    There appears to be two issues here. One is disposition of the father's ashes and the other is disposition of the assets of the father's estate.

    We need to know if the brother has been appointed executor by a probate court or if the estate was even submitted for probate.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #6

    Sep 11, 2011, 07:11 PM
    I'm not convinced about the executor necessarily getting the ashes. My state has very strict laws and I got the ashes just because I live where my parents died and my older sister, who is executor, doesn't. Granted we were all in touch with the funeral home so they knew we were getting along.
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