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    faith23's Avatar
    faith23 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 28, 2008, 11:33 AM
    Both parents want to relinquish parental rights
    I have received an e-mail from my x-wife and her husband that they want to do an "adoption reversal", what ever that is, on my teenage son. He was adopted by his stepfather several years ago. Now he is too much trouble for them.

    They have sent him to stay w/a family member. They are willing to give up rights, but only if I do it on their terms. They want me to obtain & pay attorney fees and will pay no support & this must be stated in the paperwork. These are the conditions they have stated in an e-mail. I want him away from them, but don't know where to start. This is in the state of Ark if laws vary from state to state.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Dec 28, 2008, 01:26 PM

    You signed away your rights before, in fact you have no rights at this point to the child.

    You tell them that you will take the child and not call children services on them for not keeping this child, if they pay for the attorey and send the child to you.
    faith23's Avatar
    faith23 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Dec 28, 2008, 04:44 PM

    Yes, I did lose my rights. I did not sign over rights, was not mentally able to make a decision at the time, PTSD.
    I will agree to their terms just to make my child safe, but they are not easy to deal with. I don't mean that all people in the legal profession are unfair, but just found out the adoptive father and the judge that granted the adoption are on a first name basis. Fishing buddies.

    I went before that judge on back child support, and it was a circus, they expected to put me in jail but I had already paid $2500.00 toward the support on my attys advise , so they didn't put me in jail. I was given a time to pay off the back support, which I did.

    I appreciate your comments on telling them to step up or I will call child protective services, but, they stated that if the child "messed up", what ever that means, that they would come and get him. I think its all about control to the adoptive father, my X-wife just stands by, what ever, so she won't lose her big house and cars. I'm willing to do what ever I can, but don't know where to start. I was advised by chlild protective service worker (on personal advise) that getting them involved could take months to get through the court system. I don't have months & neither does this child.
    Please understand that this is a small town in ARK were people get "Good ole Boyed". I hope you understand, but that still happens in some places.
    I will pay for an atty but I have nightmares about going back in front of that judge again.
    They can afford to pay child support, $250 thousand + income per year, compared to by disablility check, but I am willing, along with other family members to take care of that. But where do we start? I am seeking advice from an atty in AR, but w/the holidays haven't heard back.
    How to start the process? I have no rights. Should they be asking the courts to give up their rights? The only conversation I have had with the atty is that they can't just choose to give up on a child because they don't want to be responsible for that child.
    I'm on this forum because I can't stand waiting for the atty to get back after the holidays. Just looking for some kind of assurance that things can be worked out legally.
    topher's Avatar
    topher Posts: 65, Reputation: 3
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    #4

    Dec 28, 2008, 07:14 PM

    I would consult a lawyer and see what your options are, there might be a way to get what you want
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,701, Reputation: 1438
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    #5

    Dec 28, 2008, 07:21 PM

    What I don't see so far is if you have remarried or not ? If they were to do a reversal ( if that's possible ) then the only one giving up rights would be the step father. He would be the one relinquishing his right for an adoption to take place. As far as your ex goes she wasn't a part of the adoption process and still would be liable. If she is looking to adopt out also then there has to be someone to take her place also like a wife. If not then the courts most likely wouldn't agree to them both giving up rights to the child. Giving up rights are a serious matter. Are your emotions under control now and have you been cleared for PTSD ?
    topher's Avatar
    topher Posts: 65, Reputation: 3
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    #6

    Dec 28, 2008, 07:24 PM

    What's PTSD?
    faith23's Avatar
    faith23 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Dec 28, 2008, 08:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by topher View Post
    i would consult a lawyer and see what your options are, there might be a way to get what you want
    We have consulted an atty in ARK, busy season, Christmas break, said they will get back w/us. I have called and let messages for the atty to call me back with what to do, but no results yet.
    faith23's Avatar
    faith23 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Dec 28, 2008, 08:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by califdadof3 View Post
    What I dont see so far is if you have remarried or not ? If they were to do a reversal ( if thats possible ) then the only one giving up rights would be the step father. He would be the one relinquishing his right for an adoption to take place. As far as your ex goes she wasnt a part of the adoption process and still would be liable. If she is looking to adopt out also then there has to be someone to take her place also like a wife. If not then the courts most likely wouldnt agree to them both giving up rights to the child. Giving up rights are a serious matter. Are your emotions under control now and have you been cleared for PTSD ?
    Not sure how to answer your questions. Yes I have remarried. My wife and the child have had contact. Everything is good there. Concerning the PTSD, I am sorry I didn't make that clear. Post Tramatic Stress Syndrome, due to military combat where I had children to care for during a combat situation. I just wanted to keep my babies safe.

    No, I'm not cleared of PTSD, It is the biggest prob to deal with. Please don't ask me many questions about my PTSD. I have a difficult time dealing with it... but through VA I am getting help. Research PTSD, because I'm not the person that can talk about it, only how it affects me. I am not a danger to my child, spending time together now is great. I will do what ever it takes to get my child into a safe place. My wife and I can provide a safe home.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,701, Reputation: 1438
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    #9

    Dec 29, 2008, 01:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by faith23 View Post
    Not sure how to answer your questions. Yes i have remarried. My wife and the child have had contact. everything is good there. Concerning the PTSD, I am sorry I didn't make that clear. Post Tramatic Stress Syndrome, due to military combat where I had children to care for during a combat situation. I just wanted to keep my babies safe.

    No, I'm not cleared of PTSD, It is the biggest prob to deal with. please don't ask me many questions about my PTSD. I have a difficult time dealing with it...but through VA I am getting help. Research PTSD, because I'm not the person that can talk about it, only how it affects me. I am not a danger to my child, spending time together now is great. I will do what ever it takes to get my child into a safe place. My wife and I can provide a safe home.
    Your in a very bad spot. Your lawyer has their work cut out for them. I had to ask about the PTSD for this reason. ( quote ) Yes, I did lose my rights. I did not sign over rights, was not mentally able to make a decision at the time, PTSD. ( end quote )
    So if your dealing with the "good ole boy network" as you say then you have an uphill battle ahead. Is there anyone else possibly a relative of yours that could take the child ? It might be a avenue to pursue that could be a shorter route to getting your son into a different home. Please understand that if the courts took your rights away and those conditions haven't changed its going to be very difficult to do what your requesting. Im sorry but there is no way to sugar coat this. Your best efforts are going to come from not lying to yourself or your lawyer and to get honest answers from real court conditions in your area. This isn't just a slam dunk. Write down your questins and consider them in importance so you have something to refer to and try for a block of time with your lawyer ( not cheap ) and anything you don't understand ask him / her. If you don't get real answers find another lawyer. It may take time because your case is special in nature.

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