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confuseddad · Feb 4, 2008, 02:23 AM

OK I'm new to this so here it goes I'm stressing out a lot right now I'm having a kid and I'm not with the mother anymore things were fine between us until she started dating this other guy now all of a sudden I can't have anything to do with her or the baby or what is going on I don't know exactly what I can do my lawyer said no one has any rights until the baby is born she seems to think she has all these rights and I don't believe that she does but I'm not sure what I can do since the baby is not born yet she is going to try to prove that I have an alcohol problem when I don't I'm legal age to drink and that's really the only thing she thinks she has against me and she thinks that I'm not going to be on the birth certificate and the baby isn't going to have my last name all because of this boyfriend that she now has and he is trying to take over and I'm really irratated and so confused on what I can do :mad: :confused:

flossie · Feb 4, 2008, 04:25 AM

I'm not sure what your "legal" rights are right now but I do believe the mother can complete the birth certificate application any way she chooses. If the two of you aren't in a committed relationship it's best to just have the mothers' name on the birth certificate.
Being the father (which may have to be proven through DNA testing) you will have some financially responsibility for your child but I don't believe he/she has to have your last name. (Just my personal thoughts.)

macksmom · Feb 4, 2008, 05:36 AM

Your lawyer is right... no one has any legal rights to the child until it is born. So nothing can really be done until the child is born.
The mother can leave the "father" part of the birth certificate blank if she chooses... it would be up to you to get your name added, either by being at the birth and signing a parental acknowledgment form or by getting a DNA test ordered and upon the results, have yourself added to the birth certificate.

Your not married to the mother... she can give the child any last name she wants... you really have no say in that.

I would suggest that you go back and talk to you lawyer and start getting all the paperwork ready for visitation. You might as well add child support because the mother will anyway. But have all you can ready to file as soon as the child is born... there isn't anything you can do until then.

Synnen · Feb 4, 2008, 05:48 AM

Somewhere I read that you can do something like an affidavit of paternity, but I can't remember exactly what it is or where I saw it.

Basically, it means that you register as that child's father BEFORE the birth to prevent her from naming someone else as the father.

It doesn't get you on the birth certificate (and I can't believe how selfish some women are about that) and it doesn't get the baby having your last name (she can name the baby anything she wants)... but it DOES prevent her from listing her new boyfriend as the father.

Talk to you lawyer about it. While no one has rights until the baby is born, there ARE things you can start before then.