Ive read the forums but cannot find specific info on this.

Our situation: my girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We have a baby girl together. She came into the relationship with an 11 month old son whom I love dearly and have raised as my own and fully intend to continue to for ever. She has been separated from her abusive husband and baby-daddy for the duration of our relationship. She has received no support for our boy and had no contact with the bio-pop.

A divorce is now imminent.

I understand that a relinquishment of parental rights do not terminate child support requirements unless adoption by a step parent is in the works.

I would very much like to adopt my son, we couldn't care less about support and we just want to have our family and go about our lives. The catch: we don't want to get married just for the sake of adoption. We will eventually marry, but she is very concerned about her ex ever being in our son's life. She is severely traumatized from her relationship and is petrified that he might be back in her life.

SO...
1) do we have to be married in order for me to adopt/him to terminate?
2) would the best person to speak to be her divorce attorney?
And 3) (asking for her) if he is granted visitation and chooses to use it, if she failed to show up with our son, she could be found in contempt, correct? Now - does this actually happen? How much trouble could she potentially get in, and reasonably how much would she?

Granted, its very unlikely that she will ever see a dime of support nor would he travel the thousand miles to take his visitation, but she is terrified all the same.

And I just want my son to be my son.

Thanks!
Steve

1. Depends on your state, yes in some you will be reqired to be married and have to be married for one year before you can adopt

2. Depends, a divorce attorney that does nothing but divorce? Maybe not, a family law attoreny that does adoptions, so ask the divorce attoreny if he does adoption

3. yes, my sons ex tried to not show up with his son, she was fined every time she did not let him see the child and one more time she may have went to jail.

Ok question one the married thing depends on your state in many yes for at least a year in others no just a stable long term relationshilp but longer than two years I think.
Two: You would have to get a family law attorney or adoption attorney (they are required for all adoptions) is the bio dad willing to allow the adoption because he can fight it and not allow the adoption.
Three: She would be in trouble. Mostly a warning the first time then fines after that and jail. Contempt of court is taken seriously.

Thanks for your responses. We are in (or will be next week) in FL. Last we heard he is in NC.

We do not know his mood on this matter. We do know that he pays child support on 3 other children that he doesn't see. And I use the word "pay" loosely. Owes is a better word.

We suspect that he would be willing to allow the adoption if it meant not having to pay additional support.

Currently there is no custody or support order. Ive been reading all morning and I gather that this is significantly more important than we first considered.

Yes, if they have little interest in visiting the child, if you already had a support order in place, "enforcing" a court order, garnishing his pay, making him sit a week in jail, often helps them decide to sign over those rights.