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    will11's Avatar
    will11 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 5, 2008, 06:01 PM
    10+years and now she wants child support,
    I was 15 when I got my ex girlfriend pregnant, She was 17, I went to school and got a part time job,
    She gave birth to my daughter we did the whole family thing, She got pregnant again and took both the kids to her mother, She partied etc etc... I worked hard went to school and she just partied and out of nowhere she left me and told me she had a restraining order so I couldn't see the kids.
    She got married 3 months later and she asked me to stay away. I was young and stupid, I did.
    The kids are now 11 and 9 and she files child support, I don't mind paying but she don't want me to see the kids or get to know them.
    What are my rights? Does anyone know?
    Thanks.
    vivia12's Avatar
    vivia12 Posts: 143, Reputation: 15
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    May 5, 2008, 06:06 PM
    You should consult an attorney,that's the only way, call your local family or social services/
    She can't expect you to pay and not see your kids.
    cjonline's Avatar
    cjonline Posts: 217, Reputation: 19
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    #3

    May 6, 2008, 09:14 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by vivia12
    you should consult an attorney,thats the only way, call your local family or social services/
    She can't expect you to pay and not see your kids.

    Yes, she can. Its not right but she can and unless he files papers for visitation she will get the support and he won't get to see the kids (unless she lets him). Visitation and support are two different matters to the courts and one has little to nothing to do with the other.

    OP -- If you want visitation or any kind of contact with your children you will have to ask for it. I assume that you are on all the birth papers, if not you may have to take a DNA test to "prove" you are the bio father. Support would be set up at that time. She can file for support and get it. Its up to you to say you want to see your kids.

    You said she was married. Is this her way of seeing if you will allow her hubby to adopt the kids?

    Either way you need to talk to an attorney for all the facts and how it works in your area.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    May 6, 2008, 01:32 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by vivia12
    you should consult an attorney,thats the only way, call your local family or social services/
    She can't expect you to pay and not see your kids.

    You are incorrect - unless he asks for visitation he will not get it, it's not automatic.

    She can expect a lot of things - and apparently does. What she'll actually get depends on how the father responds.

    Social services has nothing to do with this. I don't know what you mean by "local family" but if you mean Family Court, yes, that's where he would go to file.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4600
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    #5

    May 6, 2008, 03:02 PM
    Hundalei agrees: but why so harsh?


    I did not cause the Lake/HOA thread to be stopped, your posts to be pulled. If you have problems with the Board moderators, take it up with them.

    In the meantime - you are very transparent, following me around and responding to my every post with nothing but criticism. I didn't pull you. Stick to your area of expertise.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,292, Reputation: 7691
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    #6

    May 6, 2008, 03:37 PM
    Ok, I will speak plain an blunt, where have you been for 10 years, so who cares what she wanted, did you not want to see your kids in all this time,? Why did you not file for visits 9 year ago, or 4 year ago. You always had that right. But I would assume you were happy not seeing them if you did not have to pay?? Sorry but this is a sad almost normal thing that happens to many fathers.

    So now, what is going to happen, well this is a guess, she will get child support based on your income, and you will need to fight to get the past due child support based on earnings in those years, not your current earnings, esp if you made less back then. So she will get 10 years of back child support ordered to be paid, at some amount per month but current support to be paid.

    You can file for visitation rights, who cares what she wants? Or you can even try for joint or other custody agreements,

    What you need to a very very good child custody attorney
    asking's Avatar
    asking Posts: 2,673, Reputation: 660
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    #7

    May 9, 2008, 01:26 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
    you were happy not seeing them if you did not have to pay ???
    Exactly.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
    You can file for visitation rights, who cares what she wants ?? or you can even try for joint or other custody agreements,
    He can file for visitation but I think it does matter what the children want (and what their parents want). The 11 year old is probably not going to fall into his dad's arms gratefully after not seeing him for his whole life. I would not encourage this father to pursue visitation unless it's something he really wants, not just out of spite against someone he barely knows anymore. I think he's been fortunate not to have to pay child support up to now.

    It's true he has "right" to see them. But I think his actively pursuing custody would be disruptive to these children's lives, not a plus. If he cares about them in the abstract, he will content himself with sending gifts and taking them to lunch now and then until he knows them better. He may be their father, but he is not a parent.

    Asking

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