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    enigmaticat's Avatar
    enigmaticat Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jul 29, 2008, 07:39 AM
    When does copying become socially inappropriate?
    Ok folks, I see great potential for mega flames here, but please not on my first post! Also please understand I have Asperger's Syndrome; what appear to be very small things for most people feel like giant issues to me. There have been tears, angst and much therapy to resolve The Saga of the Razor to no avail, so I've decided to risk polling the general public! Please, no telling me to get over myself or stop being a bimbo; I'm plenty aware of my 'issues' and am working hard on them, all I need from you is an idea of what most people think is fair and reasonable. Also, I'm 22 years old; this is a serious question and not a pubescent squabble with my sister and rebellion with my mum!

    I've been trying to figure out the 'rules' for how far a person can go with copying another person. The scenario is this; I just went out and bought me a new razor. It is the queen of all razors; it cost $16, it has 5 blades, it is green and blue (my favourite colours) and shimmery and covered in squishy gel grips. Very slick razor! The next day, my little sister suddenly decides that she desperately needs a razor (she lost hers months ago and has been using mum's all this time), specifically the same one as me. Well, this opened up a whole heap of questions about when it is OK to copy someone (I know there are plenty of other people with that razor but they won't be using it in the same shower as me and possibly getting it mixed up!). Conversly, at the start of the year she received a hair straightener for her birthday, and some months later I bought myself the same straightener as she was anti-sharing. Apparently she took issue with me copying her then but I was still allowed a straightener, so the argument is that this is the same. I'm not quite getting that; I got the same straightener as her because the hair place said it was the best one and was also on sale for about $80 less, it would have been silly to get an inferior straightener for a higher price. Razors on the other hand... the pretty much all do the trick, they all cost about the same, and there is a much higher chance of mixing them up (my sister keeps her straightener in her room at all times). Other arguments have been that some months after she bought fluro green tracky pants I bought pastel green tracky pants (they were on sale and I wanted new pyjamas!), some months after she got a side fringe I considered a side fringe. These are everyday items that she doesn't have a monopoly on, and with the exception being the straightener I have not gotten identical, just similar (and really, at the moment any young girl without a straightener, trackies and fringe is in the minority... ). Add to this the frustration that she frequently copies me; same print of undies (slightly different cut), if I go through a burger eating stage then 2 days later all the ingredients will be gone thanks to yours truly, I'll go to use makeup remover and it will be empty...

    So, all ranting aside... what is and isn't OK to share/copy on? Thanks in advance for putting up with my verbosity!
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
    Uber Member

    Jul 29, 2008, 07:49 AM
    She does it because she gets exactly this reaction out of you. This is no different that a parent ignoring a child's annoying behaviour to make it fade away. A simple no-emotion "that's nice" response from you will do fine. You're 22, get a job and move away from her if it gets too much for you to handle.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member

    Jul 29, 2008, 07:54 AM
    There really isn't anything wrong with buying the same thing but you need to have some system of telling things apart. Like labeling or as with toothbrushes and razors each of my kids had their own color handle.
    I would draw the line on copy clothes though. If you want the same clothes wait until I outgrow them and hand them down.
    Remember imitation is the best form of flattery
    enigmaticat's Avatar
    enigmaticat Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jul 29, 2008, 09:19 PM
    Thanks guys, I really don't think she's just doing it to be annoying, but it is.
    0rphan's Avatar
    0rphan Posts: 1,282, Reputation: 240
    Ultra Member

    Jul 30, 2008, 12:31 PM
    I think when it comes to personal things like, razors, creams etc.. Then it's a case of hygiene, so you have to come to some agreement there.

    Maybe when you buy yourself a new toothbrush or what ever it might be, make a point of buying one for her as well, but in a different colour. If the used ones are thrown away, she will have to use the one you have bought her.

    The same with makeup remover, perhaps you can approach it from a different angle, say that's fine you don't mind her using it, but could you both go halfs on the price of a new pot, or take it in turns to buy the next one.

    I think in her own way she probably values your opinion, if she's out and is not sure what to buy and sees something she wants, that you've already bought, she probably thinks... I know that's OK because my sister has it, and she buys it.

    May be you could offer some help with cloths and makeup/hair ideas.
    Suggest having a girly night and make each other up, do each others hair or go to the shops, include her in things that you do, that perhaps she's not old enough to do yet.

    When she realizes that you are quite happy to have her around, including her in things you do, advising her on makeup, hair clothes etc you'll find that she will probably go off and do her own thing.

    Most of all look out for each other

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