Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
    Toluca_00's Avatar
    Toluca_00 Posts: 16, Reputation: 4
    New Member

    Jan 6, 2009, 08:53 PM
    Visiting a City Where a Friend Lives and Wanting Some Place to Stay
    So if you are going to meetings in a city where a friend lives and you don't want to pay for a hotel because you are a student, is it appropriate/polite to ask if you can stay with her for a night or two? If so, how should you do this?

    We are old friends from high school that had some overnights back in the day with a mutual friend, but have since largely fallen out of touch except for a get-together once or twice a year...
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member

    Jan 6, 2009, 09:00 PM

    Tell them you are coming to their town then if they do not offer maybe ask and offer something in return. Like say something along the lines of, a hotel room is xx amount of dollars but it would be nice to have some time with you and I will cook, do dishes and give you a few dollars.
    jjwoodhull's Avatar
    jjwoodhull Posts: 1,378, Reputation: 239
    Ultra Member

    Jan 11, 2009, 04:55 PM
    How would you feel if she called and asked if she could stay with you? If you have that kind of friendship, then don't hesitate to ask. I would be happy to put up any friend that was visiting from out of town.
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
    Ultra Member

    Jan 12, 2009, 01:35 PM

    I think it's OK if you are truly interested in reconnecting with her and not just looking to save money! If this is a trip you will be repeating, my suggestion would be to pay the hotel this time and meet for lunch or dinner and reconnect before you make this kind of request.

    Another approach you could take is to call and tell her you're planning to be in town and would like to get together - for dinner or whatever - and ask if she will have town. When she asks where you are staying, just tell her you've not figured that out yet. If she offers to put you up for your stay, accept. If not, well - she didn't offer!
    linnealand's Avatar
    linnealand Posts: 1,088, Reputation: 216
    Ultra Member

    Jan 12, 2009, 08:11 PM

    I think this is really going to depend on a number of circumstances. If you can provide more information, I think it would really help in understanding the situation a bit better.

    I live in a very popular destination and vacation spot in Europe. Needless to say, I have lots and lots of people who would like to come and visit. There are so many, in fact, that although I would love to be able to be a perfect host to all of them, the number of visitors in a year really can get out of control.

    I live in a studio apartment with my boyfriend. While we do have a very comfortable and large guest mattress, in addition to a couch, this means that we don't have a separate guest bedroom... or any privacy when guests are here. Any of my nearest and dearest friends are more than welcome to come stay with us at anytime. I love them, I want to see them, and I want to spend as much time with them as possible.

    However, I also get requests (or very, very obvious hints) from people with whom I'm not especially close, from friends of friends (including people whom I don't actually know), and from others who are wealthy enough to make them more than capable of paying for their own hotels. It's not particularly nice if you get the feeling that you're kind of being used to give someone else a free vacation, especially if you are a good host and will be spending a potentially significant sum to host them properly, which is the only way I want to host in the first place.

    To complicate things even more on our side, our business is very close to our apartment, and I wind up doing a lot of work from home (in that one large room). This can make things more difficult than they might otherwise be.

    Only you can know how close (or welcome) you are with this friend and how welcome you might be to stay in this person's home.

    Also, will you be traveling alone, or will you have friends with you?

    dontknownuthin hit the nail on the head. You need to call you friend, chat like friends do, and then you can tell her that you're planning a trip to her city. Let her know why you want to go. Ask if she can recommend any cheap hostels in the area. If she offers for you to stay with her, great. If she recommends a hostel, well, you've got your answer.

    Personally, unless you're really close, I don't think it's in great taste to just ask if you can stay with the person flat out. They should have the opportunity to invite you. It might seem silly, but it can make a difference regarding how the host will feel about it.

    By the way, if you do stay with her, I really do recommend that you bring a nice gift upon your arrival and/or treat her for lunch or dinner during your time there. It might seem small, but this will make a difference long term, especially if you want to go out to visit her on other occasions.

    Honestly, if it's just a night or two, it shouldn't be a problem. Just make your plans clear. I've had people tell me the same thing, and they wound up staying for a week or two instead. Believe it or not, this has happened to me on more than one occasion.

    If she doesn't invite you, don't hate her for it. I'm sure she has her reasons. Just meet up during your time there and enjoy your time together. If your relationship grows, she might have you stay with her the next time you're in town. By the way, hostels are a travel net that anyone should be able to afford. They're not fancy, but they'll do in a pinch.

    Good luck!

    Promise to let us know how things go! You've got my curiosity going.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions


Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.

Check out some similar questions!

Looking for old friend Ronald Lee McGraw lives in Chicago [ 11 Answers ]

Hi, I'm looking for an old friend that is supposed to live in Chicago IL. Does anyone know how to find someone when you don't know their ss#, only their name & age, & general area that they live in? Please help?

Need a place 2 Stay but have a Felony [ 1 Answers ]

How do I go about finding a place to stay for me and my newborn with a felony on my record.I did the crime in 2006 but I am not that person.What 2 do?? :confused:

We split and her best friend lives next door [ 1 Answers ]

I had been hooking up with this girl for 2 weeks and we started to get a little more into it. She has been horribly traumatized by a guy in the past and when she started to feel like she really liked me, she decided that I could potentially hurt her. She told me she doesn't want to hook up...

Wanting to place a lien on a property [ 3 Answers ]

We are a small condominium homeowner's association. One of our owners has not paid his monthly dues, so we are needing to put a lien on his property. Is this something that we can do ourselves - and if so how do I do it? OR - do we need to obtain a lwayer?

My girlfriend lives with me and is unsure if she wants to stay with me [ 5 Answers ]

This is my first time on this site, but I thought that it would be nice to get some advice from non-biased people (meaning not friends or family). Just a little background on my current relationship. Currently, my girlfriend and her son live with me, and we have been together for 6 months. ...

View more questions Search