[hcourtne]

Hello. I am getting married in about 11 months and have a question about who pays for what. I am from Pittsburgh, PA and my fiancé is from Fort Wayne, IN. We both went to college in Lafayette, IN and recently moved to Oklahoma City, OK to start our careers. We are planning to have our wedding in Fort Wayne, IN, near his family, because I do not get along with my family. My family has not offered to pay for any part of the wedding and I would never ask them to due to our strained relationship. Since my fiancé and I recently graduated from college, our finaces are tight and we need to watch what we spend on the wedding. We would like to invite around 100 people. The problem is that the vast majority of our guests are not living in Indiana (only ~20 people live close enough to not have to get a hotel room). Our guests are living all over the U.S. so there really is not one ideal place to have the wedding. My fiance's parents have been very generous and offered to help pay us pay for the wedding but I hate to ask them for too much (I really hate to ask them at all but we need to). As far as hotel rooms/travel go, what should we do? I have heard of people blocking off sections of a hotel and offering this to guests at a reduced rate. Is it unfair to ask our guests to help pay for travel and lodging? HELP! I really want to invite all of these people to the wedding but do I need to make cuts simply to reduce costs?

[Tuscany]

My sister recently got married in her hometown and the majority of her guests were out of town. Here are something's that we learned along the way:

You do not need to worry about paying for a room for your guests. You can block off rooms, send the information about the rooms as part of your invitation and allow them to make a reservation. They will then pay for their own room reservation. It would be nice if you would have a guest bag placed in their room as a welcome when they arrive. Things that you could put in the guest bag include water, a snack, pamphlets to surrounding attractions, menus for area dining establishments, and a map.

[LearningAsIGo]

It is not the responsibility of the bride a groom to pay for anything, but it is a nice touch to help guests when possible. By HELP, I mean block rooms like Tuscany suggested. You can call a hotel and ask to block rooms for a group. Guess how many rooms you'll need beforehand and the hotel will give you a discounted price for anyone who books there for your date.
Other things to do would be supply accurate directions and possibly offer suggestions toward things to do locally while they're in town.

Be prepared that you could have a very small wedding. All of my husbands side was out of town, and even close relatives we expected to come--didn't. Our guest list started at 125, but we had 85 guests on the actual day. That can still be great though!

Good luck :)

[jillianleab]

When my cousin got married they had a lot of out of town guests. They contracted with a local hotel to block some rooms at a reduced rate (guests paid) and arranged for the hotel to set up a "welcome snack" since all the guests were arriving the same day. You may or may not have the funds to do this, but it was nice for the guests to check in and be able to grab a snack (it was cookies, coffee, fruit, small stuff like that) before getting to know the area. They also mailed packages with area info (and care reservation info) to the guests beforehand so people could plan their activities before arrival. They also arranged for breakfast for their guests the day of the wedding at the hotel (they had a big budget tho). Little touches like a nice note welcoming your guests once they arrive or a basket with snacks and brochures is always good to arrive to.