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    deesnider's Avatar
    deesnider Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    May 21, 2008, 04:30 PM
    She won't give the engagement ring back?
    I need help on this. My fiacne is manic bi-polar and is in this phase where she needs "space" I was living with her for 2 months then left. Two weeks after that I got her to admit to me that we are done and asked for the ring back. While we were living together she handed me the ring when she read through my phone messages; jumping to conclusions. Now I ask for the ring and she said she will pick up the payments. Why does she want it? Is this vindictive or do we still have a chance?
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
    Vision Expert

    May 21, 2008, 08:29 PM
    I think she is just trying to spite you. This was a gift though. SO, I mean, it's hers, even if you are still paying for it.
    Jason8676's Avatar
    Jason8676 Posts: 102, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member

    May 21, 2008, 08:49 PM
    Hey deesnider,
    I'm almost in the same predicament as you-however, I haven't asked for the engagement ring back. My ex is involved with somebody else now but she continues to spite me every now and then with pointless, stupid text messages every time I'm to the point of not caring anymore. The last time I actually talked to her she asked me, "Why is everyone else getting married and I can't? I told her, "Well, if we didn't waste all this time not talking we could have started making plans. Remember I asked you?" She sort of laughed and I asked her what was so funny. She said, "You." I then told her, "Well you know how I feel about you. You can either pawn it, flush it down the toilet, or give it back." She couldn't say anything about that. She has some psychological problems as well. I've just let the whole thing go and wrote the ring off as wasted money but a valuable lesson learned. If you really want her back, I would just completely leave her alone and let her return if she wants. If she wants to pick up the payments, I'd let her-but leave her alone and give her all the space she needs. She'll get a good taste of what life is like without you. That's what I've done with my ex. If she ever returns, fine. If not, then I know I can get on with my life without her It sounds like you want your ex back, so I'd let her keep it and pick up the payments, but I would totally disappear from her life as well-that will give her something to think about. Hope this helps! Jason
    lawanwadee's Avatar
    lawanwadee Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 124
    Immigration Expert

    May 22, 2008, 01:09 AM
    By the laws, if man breaks up the engagement, woman keeps the ring...
    On the contrary, if woman breaks up the engagement, she must return the ring.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member

    May 22, 2008, 05:34 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by lawanwadee
    By the laws, if man breaks up the engagement, woman keeps the ring..........
    on the contrary, if woman breaks up the engagement, she must return the ring.

    Not correct in all States - this was posted 4 times yesterday. Must be something in the air BUT -

    Not addressing the moral issue BUT the legal advice is:

    The Courts have made binding decisions (case law) on all of the following:

    In SOME States the ring is conditional upon the marriage - no marriage, return the ring: Iowa, Kansas, Michigan, NJ, NM, NY, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin.

    In California if HE breaks the engagement SHE gets to keep the ring. If SHE breaks the engagement, he gets it back.

    In Montana a ring is not a conditional gift, it is given freely, and it does not be returned.

    The others are at the Judge's discretion (if it goes that far).

    If the ring is "missing" the cash value is returned.

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