Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    inMotion's Avatar
    inMotion Posts: 3, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 26, 2007, 07:12 PM
    Kids are playmates, we don't want to entertain the parents
    Our kids are friends with the neighbors kids across the street. When our kids want to invite their friends over for a playdate, the whole family comes over. They plop down and we end up entertaining all of them. The play dates are generally initialized for the kids to play while the adults finish projects or chores around the house.

    These people just don't get it. I've said, we'll I'm busy cleaning my closet, and they'll still sit and hang out. Or when we invite the child over, we'll say, hey can James come over? Or hey, Can we come get James so he can play with Johnny?

    Inevitably they all show up at the front door. Can't shake them!

    Add to this that we don't really like the parents. They are rich, trust fund kids who brag about their latest car purchase (they have about 5 now) and even tell us how much things cost. I'd like to say, hey so happy for you--do you know that your fifth car is my yearly salary?

    At any rate, I've tried everything. I want my son to be able to play with his friend, but I do not want the parents in tow every single time. And don't think it's because their afraid to leave their kids with us. Because I've offered to baby sit for them so they can go shopping or see a movie, and they jump on that right away. Drop the kids off and hit the road.

    At this point, I'm tempted to avoid letting my children play with theirs, just so I don't have to entertain them when I am busy and because I just really can't relate to them. They are freaky. And, with all of their money, they even mentioned to me once that some kid that attended their kid's birthday party didn't bring a present. She wanted to know if that ever happened to our kids. I said, geez, I wouldn't know because we don't keep tract of things like that. Ughhh... can anyone offer advice for the neighbors that I just can't get away from?
    LadyB's Avatar
    LadyB Posts: 320, Reputation: 42
    Full Member
     
    #2

    May 26, 2007, 08:55 PM
    Well, just goes to prove that money doesn't buy class. What rude people!

    Unfortunately you might need to physically prevent entry, simply don't them in the door. Can you send your son outside when they arrive with a "Hey why don't you boys play in the yard for a while", then tell the family "I'm sorry, I am in the middle of a project and can't visit with you today. Shall I send James home at dinnertime?"
    NowWhat's Avatar
    NowWhat Posts: 1,634, Reputation: 264
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    May 28, 2007, 02:09 PM
    You could meet them at the door and just ask what time their kid needs to be home. And then say see you later.
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    May 30, 2007, 04:39 AM
    inMotion, I will hazard a guess that due to this couple's lack of social manners, they don't have many friends. Let's face it, how many people like to be around a braggert? So, they will continue to impose on you if you allow them to. Did you continue to clean out your closet when they invited themselves in or did you stop what you were doing? That can make all the difference in the world.

    You have one of two options here. You can limit your son's contact with their friend and find other children for him to play with as you are thinking of doing. Or, the next time you invite the boy over to play, tell the parents that you are cleaning the bathroom while they play and ask the adults point blank, if you can get together with them another time because you really need to get this done. Force them to give you an answer. If after this, the adults come over anyway, tell them that you are very grateful that they want to spend time with you so much that they are willing to help you clean. Tell them this is a wonderful surprise and you can't thank them enough for their help. Hand them the toilet brush and other supplies, and march to the bathroom. Make sure you don't have any rubber gloves handy. Start directing them in the cleaning chores. Tell one to clean the toilet, and the other clean the tub. You start to clean the sink. Keep chattering away with them about how hard it is trying to find the time to work and keep your house clean. Complain about it, and keep on working. Do not allow them to sit down, do not offer them something to drink or eat. Do not make pleasant talk. Complain about the mess your family makes and complain about anything else that comes to mind. Make it very clear that they are working with you and this isn't a social call.

    Every time you invite the boy over to play, create an unpleasant cleaning task every time, and tell them what you are going to be working on when you make that call, and suggest the adults get together at another time. Follow through with putting them to work if they show up. I can guarantee after two times of being put to work, they will start to send their son over by himself. I wouldn't be surprised if in the middle of the first time, they find an excuse to leave.

    If they object at all when you start in on the chore, tell them very innocently but firmly, "But, I told you I was doing this. I assumed you came over because you wanted to help. You don't have to help me if you don't want to, but I don't have any other time to do this and need to get this done now. It's okay if you don't want to help. I understand. I don't want to do it either but I don't have any choice. We can get together another time." Then, walk them to the door and open it. If, before you get to that point, they try to get you to stop what you are doing, don't. Be pleasant but stand firm. If they don't leave, then follow through and put them to work. If they insist on making a date for a get together, tell them you will get back to them because you don't have time to check the calendar. People can only take advantage of us if we allow them to do so.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Don't like my parents [ 15 Answers ]

:mad: I am a 13 year old who wants to let her parents who she hates them without actually telling them so I can finally tell them I what is in my head. What is the best approach?

Kids who disown parents [ 6 Answers ]

I am a 44yr old woman who has 3 children. Daughter 25, she has 2 beautifil little girls aged 3yrs and 6yrs old. My son who's 20yrs old has a 3month old baby girl, and my youngest daughter is 17yrs old but does not have children at present. My son has not spoken to me for 4yrs. He refuses point...

How to tell my parents? [ 1 Answers ]

Hi. I'm 16 and kind of like this guy who used to be my classmate. However, I' m now shifting to a new school. His parents know about me and like me, but I haven't told my parents yet. They got to know about us before and told me to break it off. They say it's not in our culture to date so I...

Parents without wills and his/her kids [ 1 Answers ]

My question is... if there are mixed families, for example his and her kids and now ours. What happens to their house. I know that if one spouse dies, the other get everything, but happens when he/she dies... who gets the house if there are half-brothers and sisters... does the one child from both...

Parents [ 1 Answers ]

Hello, I just wanted to say my parents are splitting up, and I'm finding it really hard! I have moved away to a dance college and I get phone calls off my dad telling me to stay instead of coming home at weekends! But when I do come home he doesn't even talk to me! He just shakes his head as I walk...


View more questions Search