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cmcaussie · Mar 19, 2007, 05:43 AM

My stepdaughter told me that her almost 3 year old son is bathing with his other Grandmother. Is this normal or an OK thing to do? I told my stepdaughter that I think it is a form of child abuse. Am I right?

ScottGem · Mar 19, 2007, 05:54 AM

Its not a form of child abuse. However, it might be traumatic to the child depending on Grandma's level of fitness. ;)

Seriously, this practice should be tailed off starting about now (not cut off) so that its stopped over a several month period. If the child asks about why its stopping, the parent can explain that as we grow older our bodies should be kept private.

But I think you need to lighten up a bit.

Squiffy · Mar 19, 2007, 06:22 AM

I stopped bathing with my kids when they were able to sit in a bath unaided. Its not child abuse though, not simply bathing with a child.

robertsqueen · Mar 19, 2007, 07:58 AM

I sometimes still bathe with my two year old son. I don't like the idea of him bathing with anyone but me or my husband... that is just not right in my mind. If your step daughter is okay with it... then its her call.

lacuran8626 · Mar 20, 2007, 03:15 PM

Even as adults most of us don't want to see our relatives naked! I think you are right to feel it's strange and inappropriate. The bottom line is that at best it's iffy and unnecessary. I would talk to your son (you said it's your daughter-in-law's mother?) and tell him that you just feel the baby is getting too old for it, and that you think he should put an end to it.

shygrneyzs · Mar 20, 2007, 03:28 PM

It is not child abuse. It is one of those grey social services type areas, where it could be construed as a form of sexual misconduct on the part of the Grandmother. Notice I said "could be". If you encounter a social worker who sees the devil in everything, then you may have an issue. I would not get too nuts over this. As the child is only three, not thirteen. I would say that the Grandmother should begin to taper off and offer the explanation that the child should be able to bathe on his own. Nothing wrong with some help getting his back washed or his hair washed, but the line needs to be drawn for Grandma being in the tub.

ScottGem · Mar 20, 2007, 04:03 PM

Just a point here, if this would be considered child abuse, then every family naturalist camp in the US would be guilty.

vlee · Mar 20, 2007, 06:24 PM

Simply bathing is not child abuse. I agree that this is the time to begin limiting shared baths, but there is nothing immoral or illegal about bathing with a three year old.

Lillian42 · Apr 15, 2007, 08:34 PM

I can remember being younger and bathing with my grandma cousin brother dad mom and yes I'm a girl but I don't remember what age I stopped I do agree once a child gets older it's a little weird but as long as nothing sexual is going on I don't see the harm.

yamotnako · Aug 18, 2007, 08:43 AM

Putting malice into a gradmother and grandson relationship... for goodness sake the kid is only three...

August13 · Aug 18, 2007, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by cmcaussie

My stepdaughter told me that her almost 3 year old son is bathing with his other Grandmother. Is this normal or an ok thing to do? I told my stepdaughter that I think it is a form of child abuse. Am I right?

The term child abuse is very strong and ought to be used only to describe that which is really harmful to a child. This does not qualify.

You are interpreting the behavior in a far more damaging way than the actual bathing itself. Let them have their time together while he's still young enough to enjoy bathtime with his grandmother.

tickle · Sep 11, 2007, 05:25 AM

I hate to say this but it makes a difference if there isn't enough hot water to go around even once a week and I still think this is the case in many homes and rural areas even now. However, there should be a cut off point; at three year old child should be learning to do some small personal hygiene efforts on his/her own.

gallivant_fellow · Oct 6, 2007, 12:16 PM

If you mean she is washing the three year old, I don't see a problem. Little kids can be irresponsible bathers. If you mean that she is in the tub with him, I would be against that.

startover22 · Oct 7, 2007, 09:38 AM

I say keep the baths woth the mother and father is the way to go. Sheesh my kids jump in the shower with my husband in the morning... It has been a normal thing since I can remember... I think my oldest son stopped around the time he felt the need for privacy, my daughter stopped around 3... my other sons are 4 and 6 and they still do... Nothing has gone wrong yet so, I don't think it is bad. Not with Grammy though! Good luck!

ScottGem · Oct 7, 2007, 05:18 PM

C'mon people CHECK THE DATES!!!!

This discussion was over in MARCH!!!!!!

startover22 · Oct 7, 2007, 06:06 PM

Ok you are right...