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    utstark's Avatar
    utstark Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 18, 2008, 11:00 AM
    Funeral Expense Etiquette
    Our mother recently passed away. We have a pianist from our church and a soloist. Should we send money to these people or will they feel offended? Is a thank you card enough?
    utstark
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,831, Reputation: 5427
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Jan 18, 2008, 11:07 AM
    Anyone who provides a special service (at your request) for a wedding, christening, or funeral is entitled to receive a gift of money. Even the minister is entitled. The gift of money could be enclosed inside a thank-you card. That would be very classy!
    donf's Avatar
    donf Posts: 5,678, Reputation: 582
    Printers & Electronics Expert
     
    #3

    Jan 18, 2008, 11:08 AM
    Discuss this with your funeral director. This is his bailiwick, he will be more than willing to assist you.
    lacuran8626's Avatar
    lacuran8626 Posts: 270, Reputation: 57
    Full Member
     
    #4

    Jan 29, 2008, 02:20 PM
    I agree with donf. Many churches charge, or the soloists have their own fee. If not, I certainly would offer something. Ask your funeral director and/or pastor. If they don't know or don't want to provide you a figure, I would suggest $50 to $100 for each if they are volunteering their time. They can decline, but the offer would be appropriate. Enclosing it in a handwritten note of thanks would be a classy way to go about it.

    If it's a family member or very close, I would not tip them but would make a special point of thanking them.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #5

    Jan 29, 2008, 02:48 PM
    Some funeral homes take care of everything - from the luncheon to paying the honorariums to people who have participated in the funeral. Ask the director if the fee you paid covered all this.

    If not - yes, please do enclose an honorarium in a thank you card to the soloists, organist, priest/minister, Ladies Aid Society (or whoever put on the luincheon after the funeral). It is not that these people demand something, but it is that they have provided something meaningful to your family and you appreciate their efforts.
    musicmom73's Avatar
    musicmom73 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    May 25, 2013, 04:50 PM
    Pianists have put in years of training to be able to perform. We should be paid for our services. Do you expect to be paid when you perform a job? Of course! And payment should depend on what the pianist is being asked to do. Is there a rehearsal? What does the service entail? Are you asking the pianist to play 20 minutes of music as people enter the service and also play as people exit as well as playing special music during the service? If you don't know what to pay a pianist you can ask them or ask the funeral director or a church secretary. They can suggest an appropriate amount.

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