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    ELiZa1214's Avatar
    ELiZa1214 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 25, 2018, 06:11 PM
    I want to leave my husband. Should I?
    This is going to sound crazy but I got married 2 months ago and want to leave my husband. Throughout our relationship I've had this sinking feeling that this was not the right relationship, and we had been on and off for years, but my now husband depends on me emotionally. When we got married I instantly felt regret sink in. We also have $150k worth of debt, $140k are his student loans. He went to school to be an engineer, but couldn't find an engineering job when he got out of school. He was working at a construction consulting company making decent money but got fired a week before our wedding, after asking for a raise or threatening to leave the company. He found another job fairly quickly making about the same but working about 20+ more hours than before. I think he has given up on ever becoming an engineer, which leaves me very uncertain about our future. He also does not seem particularly interested in paying off the debt, which has me feeling even more insecure. Our sex life has also been terrible over the past two years. At first he said he was stressed about finishing school and then when he started the consulting job, stressed about doing a good job and that was the reason for the low libido. But now its been over two years and nothing has changed. He also lets me do most of the housework, saying that work leaves him too tired to help.
    I know we just got married and I need to at least try and make this relationship work, but I am so tired of feeling alone in this. I feel stupid, alone, and lost. If I hadn't felt like I would disappoint my family and hurt so many people I don't think I would have gone through with the wedding. But this is where I am now, and I don't know what to do. Please help.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,758, Reputation: 5426
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Nov 25, 2018, 06:17 PM
    Do you have a FT job? If so, doing what?

    How long have you been married? First you say 2 months, then later say 2 years.

    Have you gone to a marriage counselor yet, or talked about going to one?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,857, Reputation: 10852
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    #3

    Nov 25, 2018, 06:23 PM
    Do you work outside the home? What would you do about the debts and assets between you? Do you have a mortgage? This has been all about him and no facts about you and your role in this and those details would surely be helpful. If you cannot talk and find a solution to these problems then you separate. Separations and divorce have there own stresses and consequences, but you both sound so ill prepared and mismatched I can only ask what the heck you got married for?

    Any kids in this union?

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