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Emily94 · Oct 1, 2010, 06:20 PM

I'm 16 years old and I'm scared to be home alone. I never have rational fears like someone's going to break in, or anything like that, I'm always scared some scary serial killer is going to kill me... It sounds silly (really what are the chances?) but I just can't seem to not think that.. It makes me really anxious, can someone give me some suggestions?

Jake2008 · Oct 1, 2010, 11:58 PM

I am much older than you are, and I get spooked from time to time alone, too.

Plus I have a dog who picks up on it, and he starts to do a low growl, and that makes it even worse!

The best thing to do, is face your fears, and think rationally. When you have thoughts of a serial killer, or some other similar type of thought, talk to yourself. Ask yourself, why am I thinking of a serial killer. There is no serial killer at the door, or in the neighbourhood, or in the city. Why am I fearful of a person that does not exist, and that he could somehow have me on his hit list.

Realize the thought for what it is. If you work through it, and think about it, you will feel better. You might try keeping a diary or notebook, and just write the thouhts out. When you read them, read it objectively, and you will see that there is no substance.

Whenever you face a fear, even if it is a thought, you will conquer it, and control it. If you don't give into a fear, it cannot bother you in any way.

beachloverjohn · Oct 3, 2010, 04:09 PM

You are not alone in your fears. What with movies, Tv, video games, even current news reports no wonder you are afraid. Some of these movies would give anybody nightmares. When I was a kid, the only thing I feared was waking up with a pimple. But the fact is, the threats that exist today are the same ones that were around 50 years ago. So try to stay away from that kind of TV and movies, and you will not think about it so much.

Emily94 · Oct 3, 2010, 04:21 PM

I rarely watch TV or movies (and if I do it's movies that are not frightint, the last 3 movies I've watched were remember me, bounty hunter, and meet the deedles)... So I don't know where these thoughts even come from. Even if I'm showering and people are home I have to lock both my bedroom door and bathroom door (I have an en suite) because I'm scared someone is going to grab me through the shower curtain... It's been a lot worse the last month or so...

beachloverjohn · Oct 3, 2010, 04:45 PM

Paranoia is something that requires behavioral therapy. If this problem is that severe, then this will help you to overcome the fears that are in your mind and put you on the road to recovery

justcurious55 · Oct 3, 2010, 07:43 PM

I feel like some amount of concern is normal. I live in a pretty safe area, but I still carry pepper spray and a whistle on my keys and always make sure I'm paying attention to my surroundings when I'm walking by myself, especially at night. And I don't like going to sleep when I'm the only person home. But, staying up all night until my roomates get home isn't always an option. So I remind myself that the chances of anyone breaking into my house and hurting me are slim, turn on a comedy, and hope that if anything ever does happen I'll remember all those self defense classes I took. If you're anxiety is getting worse or to the point that it's negatively impacting your life I think beachlover is right though, it might be time to try therapy.

Has anything happened in your area recently? Or do you read the news? I deliberately avoid the crime sections of the news sites. The medication I take for my migraines causes an increase in dreams, usually nightmares, so I avoid anything that might trigger them right now.

Jake2008 · Oct 3, 2010, 07:49 PM

Your original post is quite different than your second post.

Actually significantly different, and paints an entirely different picture. Now you are fearful in your own home, even when people are around.

Have you talked to your mother about this. That would be the first step. Letting her know that you have fears you do not understand, and that you are anxious, as you said, and fearful, even when they are home. Pick a quiet time when you won't' be interrupted, and you can get your words out calmly and clearly.

I'm not going to say you have mental health issues, mainly because you say, these fears have become worse (not knowing what they were before would be another guess), and have been worse, for about a month.

This really needs to have your mother's input, so that she can help you better manage this fear. Whether that be through just talking it out with you, or knowing that you have been under unusual stress- she would have a far better understanding face to face with you, that anyone else being able to guess. You have to start addressing this,and where better to start than with your mother.

Please start there, before considering all the things that are probably not wrong, which will only make you more fearful.

Enigma1999 · Oct 3, 2010, 07:54 PM

Hello Emily,

I too understand where you are coming from.

Where I work, we have a 4 story parking garage. I can't stand that garage. I am one of the last to leave my building, so I walk to my car holding my keys facing out ofmy knuckles. I am always afraid that someone is going to stuff me in their trunk. I'm a little thing, so if someone really wanted to have their way with me, they probably could. I just try to be aware of my surroundings.

So I know your fear. Even at home, I get scared. Things that I do to take my mind off the fear of being at home alone are, listen to music, watch a funny movie, read a book, even draw. Those things tend to help.

Emily94 · Oct 4, 2010, 04:16 AM

Nothing bad has ever happened since I've lived in my area, were on the outskirts of town and are pretty much in a little community. I know I have quiet a few issues (a lot is going on right now with y
Family) could stress cause anxiety like this?

Jake2008 · Oct 4, 2010, 04:29 AM

Yes, stress and anxiety could cause these fears, or cause you to be fearful and insecure.

Sometimes when you focus on just the symptoms, the real cause is either not realized, or not associated with what is actually going on in your life.

If this is a family thing as you say, with lot going on, and if it isn't possible to speak directly with your mom, try to speak to an older sibling, or aunt, or maybe a close family friend, school counsellor, etc.

With your symptoms going on now for over a month, with no resolve in to them in your posts, my advice to you, is to find somebody you can talk to, and confide in.

Somebody who knows you, will make it much easier. And it's a start.

Emily94 · Oct 4, 2010, 05:03 AM

Thanks for your suggestions... I guess I'll try talking it out an see how it all goes :)

beachloverjohn · Oct 4, 2010, 05:35 AM

Emily, do your fears occur even when you are not home? When you are at school? Have you lived in this neighborhood long? Did this anxiety happen before you moved there? Stress in your homelife could be a big factor in your fears, and "fear of fears" will only make it worse. So as others said before me, if you can keep yourself busy doing things that will take your mind off being afraid, then eventually the apprehension or worry will become less intense. Maybe have one of your friends stay over a night or two, give you a chance to talk to someone you trust.

Emily94 · Oct 4, 2010, 10:07 AM

I've lived in the current place for about 2 years, to be honest I think it's gotten worse since the lose of a friend (I didn't know her that well or that long), she hung herself the beginning of September... I never really thought it effected me that bad, but now that I think about it it seems that's when my fears have gotten worse...

beachloverjohn · Oct 4, 2010, 01:05 PM

Have you talked to a grief counselor through your school? Teen suicide touches everyone , and it can trigger a variety of emotions in friends, school mates, etc. Anxiousness, feeling helpless, insecure, and panic attacks, and this untimely death can also trigger fears of your own mortality.. It is important that you and your friends rally around each other for emotional support. Sharing your feellings makes the fears {and grief} easier to deal with.

Emily94 · Oct 5, 2010, 03:50 AM

I never saw a grief counceller about it because I wasn't to upset about it (that sounds harsh but I only knew her for about a month) I
Cried and talked to friends about it... But it appears it effected me more than I thought...