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    Silvermist's Avatar
    Silvermist Posts: 85, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member

    Mar 7, 2017, 05:30 AM
    How to express anger?
    My mum accused me of something I didn't do today. I was so so angry she wouldn't listen to anything I had to say. Im trying not to argue or fight with her so I just went to my room. But I was so mad I didn't handle it too well. How do you deal with anger especially when your really angry?
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
    Ultra Member

    Mar 7, 2017, 06:09 AM
    It's a good time to stop your mouth, regain your composure, and think about what outcome you want the situation to move towards. Losing your temper won't help any situation. Parents aren't perfect. We try to be but it just doesn't happen. Realize it's okay for parents to make mistakes.
    Silvermist's Avatar
    Silvermist Posts: 85, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member

    Mar 7, 2017, 06:56 AM
    I understand no ones perfect and I didn't lose my temper at my mum. I tried to defend myself and when she wouldn't listen I just left. I walked away to not lose my temper at her but was still very angry and did something stupid. What I would like to ask is how you stop feeli g so angry?
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
    Ultra Member

    Mar 7, 2017, 08:29 AM
    How old are you?

    From my perspective I've always felt that getting angry doesn't solve anything and it also takes a lot of negative energy that I don't want to spend or have in my life. It made a huge difference in my life when I realized and accepted I can't control what other people do or say to me. I control how I feel and I choose to be positive despite other people. If you accept that you are in total control of how you feel AND you have the choice to feel negative or positive, wouldn't you rather feel positive so that you can have a good day? I know I do.

    But to answer your question, some people count to 10 before responding. That helps you get your thoughts together so that you do not over react. Some people walk away from the antagonist situation to allow themselves to calm down. Also you can set your expectations going into a situation. If you know there's a chance the situation is going to make you angry, then you are ready for it and there's a better chance you will stay calm.
    marisol1997's Avatar
    marisol1997 Posts: 36, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member

    Mar 20, 2017, 07:38 AM
    Sometimes its best to let some time pass, maybe a day or two before you try to explain where you were coming from, when you are already upset it only makes it harder for people to understand why you were upset. Hope this helps :)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,250, Reputation: 10853

    Mar 20, 2017, 05:42 PM
    You cannot control what feeling you have, nobody can, but you CAN and SHOULD control what you do about them. Doing something stupid should not be an option because of your feelings, no excuse even though it's a common thing for us human to make those emotional mistakes and behave badly, like maybe your mom did, and now you have.

    I have learned over the years that its okay to acknowledge those feelings, in your case anger, and give yourself time to feel those feelings and let the intensity diminish and the brain take over, so you can THINK before you act or speak.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member

    Mar 21, 2017, 07:17 AM
    As was mentioned... everything does NOT require a response... and in fact many times (like this one) responding is only going to make it worse for you. This is one of those cases you aren't going to "win". A good life lesson to learn for when you get out into the real world and HAVE to deal with many people with authority over you where if you get argumentative you WILL likely be fired for insubordination.

    You suck it up.. live with it and you will see in the grand scheme of things, its really only a momentary insignificant incident. Right or wrong.

    Being accused of Burning down the house is NOT on par with forgetting to pick up your clothes or get the mail if you see the difference. The first one You could legitimately argue, the last two you would not.

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