Starting to remember more bits from my past, and I kind of don't want to anymore but things are triggering it, Its stopping me from sleeping because all I see is the images the bad times, the feelings it made me feel and still does, these memories hurt and there only little and I have doubt with worse. It even see these images during the day, I can't stop thinking about it! I try to keep myself active but they find away back in.

What can I do?

I have had this and I still do. The best advice I can give you is experience them. You're probably, if it is similar to me, holding yourself to a high and almost unobtainable standard. You're embarrassed about the situations and it hurts you to remember it. What you need to remember and think is that it is okay. You've done the best that you could do, you made the right decision, and that's okay.

You need to get a journal, write out the situation completely, explain why it hurts and why it embarrasses you, and why it shouldn't. Getting the idea out on paper is a good way to get it out of your head. Bottling them up or pushing them back will just lead to them coming back and worse.

For me there are a lot surrounding previous relationships and the strife in them. A simple one is with the girlfriend before my wife. I made her uncomfortable because I was moving faster then she wanted to. There were a few conversations that were so awkward and embarrassing. I wrote each of them down and why they seemed to be.

Good luck.

Take this up with your counselor.

I do agree, talk to your counselor, you need to address, not hide issues from the past, and learn to put them in the correct context. People who have killed in war, seen horrible things, need help.

Thanks Yeah true, sorry didn't mean to inconsiderate people have seen worse.

Kezzy you are not inconsidering people, but you do need to recognize that all your issues are related and having many professionals to deal with them separately may not be a good approach. A mentor as well as counsellor to guide you through the process of figuring it all out is a better approach.

Is there an older trusted adult you can share ALL your issues, and concerns with that knows you are seeing a counselor? The pattern to your many questions on this board has been to not offer much feedback, or opinions, just "okay thanks".

That's somewhat of a disjointed way of looking at a bigger more accurate picture of yourself. Obviously you lack I think a strong female figure or MOM/big sister. Am I correct in this?

Counseling only gets you so far, and very difficult without a proper personal support system.

Yeah I suppose, and yeah I wish I had my mum or a female role model as such, but I can talk to my teacher about it.