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    Gemmor63's Avatar
    Gemmor63 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    May 3, 2022, 09:15 AM
    How Can I Accept This
    I have two sisters. When we were younger I didn't have much in common with them as they were into sport only and played tennis all day, every day. By the time we were all in our thirties they had a very close bond and I realised what I was missing out on. I have slowly built up my relationship with them over the last twenty years and I'm much closer to them now. We all have our own homes and when we meet up no-one is ever left out but they still have this bond that I will never share. When we meet up with each other and our husbands they will always choose to sit beside each other so that they can have a few private words every now and then. I feel lonely and a bit jealous when this happens. I've accepted that I will never share this bond but can someone advise me how to come to terms with it please? Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you in advance. 🙏
    KatrinaD's Avatar
    KatrinaD Posts: 1, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    May 7, 2022, 09:03 PM
    You seem very aware of and accepting of the current situation, which is healthy and realistic. I'm sorry that you will probably never be part of their established bond.

    However, you are emotionally smart enough to know, one relationship, not matter how true and deep, is enough for adults. Have a great and satisfying spouse - you still need a best friend/godparent/work colleague to supplement that.

    these two have each other, but guess what, you're now in their lives and you can build separate bonds with each, and both. You aren't infiltrating or lessening their relationship, you're a supplement, an alternative, a new point of view, an unexpected blessing.
    Gemmor63's Avatar
    Gemmor63 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    May 10, 2022, 09:28 AM
    Hi KatrinaD, Thank you for responding to me. I am lucky that I have a wonderful husband who is my best friend.á You are right though about needing a friend outside a marriage.

    Unfortunately about four years ago I became estranged from my childhood best friend.á She was going through some emotional issues and stopped contacting me or responding to me. We live about half an hour's drive away from each other and used to meet every Friday for coffee. She was upset about how her life was going and started making excuses not to meet. Eventually she wouldn't even respond to messages or phone calls.

    I gave her space for the last four years. About three months ago I drove past her house and saw her car in the driveway which reassured me that she was okay.

    I thought I would make one last attempt to contact her so I sent her a card and wrote a message inside. I enclosed a stamped addressed envelope inviting her to respond just to tell me she's okay.

    She didn't respond so I suppose that's my answer.á If I hadn't lost that friendship, I would feel better about my sisters' closeness.á I'll never have a friend I can be that comfortable with again (it was the same bond my sisters have) but I do have other friends and of course my husband so I have a lot to be grateful for.

    Thanks again KatrinaD and I hope you are having a good life too. 😊

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