While you are only 15, you made a choice to sleep with a married man. That you had always found him 'hot', was surely picked up on. While the infatuation continued, you did nothing to stop it, and consented to have sex with him. You had opportunities to stop, and you had opportunities to realize that if you did sleep with him, both your friend, and her mother would very much be affected by your actions.

That in NO WAY excuses HIS behaviour. As an adult, and you technically a child, laws are in place to protect children from predators. You, at 15, are not expected to have the maturity or life experience to protect yourself, in other words, you do not have the capacity to consent with full understanding, thus the onus is on him, and it the becomes criminal behaviour.

Regardless of your consent in other words, you are now dealing with a man, who has had sex, with a child. That is all you are dealing with, and you must step up, and stop him.

The consequences of your actions will probably be the loss of your friend, but the consequences will also be this man will be held accountable for his actions, and you could very well be saving other children from also being involved with him.

I would be surprised if this man hasn't had a history.

There is no option for you but to tell your parents immediately. It is their job to take appropriate action, and stop this man from pursuing you. Keep your texts from him, this is direct evidence.

While you may lose your friend in the process, it is a small price to pay, in the overall scope of things, to do the right thing. He will not go away, you are in way over your head, and like it or not, you have to deal with this.

Jake, please read the whole thread. She did tell her parents AND the police.

My apologies- did not read carefully enough to see all the posts.

I am so so sorry for what I've done to my friend and her mum.I really hate myself for ever letting any of this happen

I'm so proud of you, what you have done shows that you're a strong person with the will to do right by others.

I know the next 3-4 weeks is going to be hard, but it is going to get a lot better, you just wait and see. :)

Very good job... SO PROUD.. :)

I'm sending you the biggest cyberhug-you did the right thing,Bella and I'm adding to the others praise,I'm so very proud of you!!

Things will be tough for a while,but you'll be able to handle it-you are a strong,good person who's grown up tremendously in the last couple of days.

Take good care of yourself.

I've been following this post since the beginning but have refrained from advising until now.

Bella,

The courage it took for you to face your fears and do what is right, far surpasses any courage I have or will ever have. You're a brave girl and you did right by a lot of people. It could have been easy to turn away from askmehelpdesk and do whatever you wanted, but you stuck with us as we stuck with you to help you, guide you, through a very unfortunate circumstance.

I know I speak for many when I say I wish I had the courage you do, as we know facing our fears can be one of the hardest things we ever do.

Your parents cry and are quite, but put yourself in their shoes. Some pediphile touched their little girl and forever altered her life. Give it time and you will see, how proud of you they are. For stepping up and speaking out against this horrible man.

Keep your head up, and know we're always here if you ever want to talk.

Edit: removed

Bella,

I, too, am SO proud of you. You are so much braver than many, and you have done a great service to yourself, to other young people, and (believe it or not) to your friend's family.

I know that you feel a lot of pain right now, and you don't feel like you're such a good person, but you ARE. You have done a very good thing owning up to what's happened, and you've gone to the right people for help in taking action for your mistakes.

Your parents love you, and you are their priority. Yes, they're disappointed; yes, they're hurt. But they have already shown that they will do what it takes to protect you and to make sure that you will be okay. You need to trust them and the police now.

If you need anything, we are here for you. Even if just to talk. Again, I'm so very proud of you and inspired by you.

Bella, we're still here for you too. You can ALWAYS come back to talk to us.

I think everyone here is so incredibly proud of you. I know it must have been the hardest thing you ever had to do.

Stay brave. You are doing the right thing. We're all here to hold your hand through it, too.

I don't see how things are going to get better.Things are always going to be different I've ruined my life I don't have my friend any more and I've ruined her family.None of our other friends will want to have anything to do with me.My mum and dad,well I don't even know what they think they probably are disappointed in me.My mum had to sit there and listen to everything.I might have to go to court and tell everyone what happened.How can things get any better.Mum wants me to go back to school tomorrow.I'm not going back.I can't handle all this I can't even tell my friend how sorry I am I feel so ashamed.I am not brave I'm just stupid getting drunk and sleeping with my best friends dad.****ing stupid

Has nobody mentioned counselling for you?

Where I live it would be offered to people who have gone through this sort of situation.

You made a mistake,your friend's father abused a minor,her family was in real trouble long before he seduced you.

I'm amazed that the Police didn't recommend that you speak with a professional mental health care worker.

But, of course, they didn't.

We can tell you over and over that this is not your fault but we can't make you believe that.

How will everyone know about this? In my area these things are NOT published in the newspaper but, if they are, the minor's name is not given. I doubt your friend is going to be telling people about you and her father.

I am still concerned about the alcohol that was involved. Are you allowed to drink alcohol? Do you normally? I'm not blaming you. I'm just wondering how the drinking came to be.

I agree. Counseling seems beneficial in this situation.

I'm going to fourth that counseling is necessary here. If the police didn't recommend it, ask your mom and dad for it. Tell them you need help to sort through what happened and why it happened and the more you try to do it alone the more depressed you get. This is what I see happening.

Honey, you NEED a counselor.

THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!

Unless you tell them, your friends will not know.

Your best friend's family was in trouble before this even happened. YOU are nothing more than the straw that broke the camel's back. If this hadn't happened with you, it would have happened with someone else.

It WILL get better. Maybe not right away tomorrow, but it WILL get better. Please go to school tomorrow and talk to your school counselor about getting help to get through this.

The police gave me a number for SARC (sexual assult resorce centre) so I could make an appointment to speak to a counselor and some other number for victims support for if I have to go to court.Where I live nothing is a secret everyone know everyone's business kids all talk about it we hear our parents talk about, so I know people will know.I'm not allowed to drink alcohol my parents are very strict about alcohol,smoking and drugs but we do drink sometimes we were at my friends house drinking for her birthday her mum was visiting her nanna so her dad said we could drink as long as we didn't tell her mum.Stupid

If people talk,remember that gossips usually find something else to talk about after a week or so.

Of course he said you could drink,so he could set the scene.
That's what predators do.

Call SARC now and make an appointment.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for all the support and information you have given me.With out it I don't think I would have told my mum or gone to the police.I've been to counselling this morning and understand a bit better why it was important for me to tell my parents and why what happened wasn't my fault,although I still do feel as though it was my fault to,he should have know that it was against the law.My mum and me had a big talk,she said she isn't angry at me she is upset at what has happened and dissapointed in the choices I have made.She really wants me to go back to school,I don't really want to but I don't have much choice I'm a little bit worried about going back.But mum is right I am only 15 and it's important for me to finish school I just hope it will be all right.Now I just have to wait and see what happens.So thank you it means a lot that you all have taken the time to help me with my problem.

I just read through this whole thread and while I can't say this is a happy ending, it certainly is better than the alternative. I had a suspicion that your mum wasn't angry with you. If she was really ashamed of you, she wouldn't have hustled you off to the police as she did.

The SARC counselor sounds like a solid professional. You were told a lot of the same things we have told you. Yes, you made some bad choices. But you have learned from them and showed a great deal of bravery for which you and your parents should be proud.

Yes your friend may never forgive you. But I can tell you with a great deal of surety that he would have been caught eventually. I am sure this would have happened again to another girl. Men like that have a compulsion that they can't resist. He may have been abusing your friend and she may, someday, thank you for turning him in.

But I believe you had NO choice but to turn him in. If you didn't he would have kept bothering you. Even if he didn't, you would always worry that he was abusing another girl.

So hold your head up high and go back to school. If anyone questions you about it, tell them you can't discuss it because it is a police matter and walk away.