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    foreverromantic's Avatar
    foreverromantic Posts: 174, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Jul 17, 2018, 06:42 AM
    Guarded speech
    I sometimes have lunch with a lady in my building. She has always been "very guarded" about how she speaks to me. I do not know if she speaks this way to everyone, but it has become somewhat strange to me and I do not think I want to continue to see her. She is not a real close friend.
    I am not afraid at all to talk about myself or my past. If you have to "watch" every little thing you say, how can you have a normal conversation with that person?
    I had wonderful parents, a good job, good bosses, etc. and had a chance to do some traveling.
    Someone please let me know your thoughts on this.
    This lady has four grown children. When I asked her "if she had had a big wedding", she laughed at me!
    She will talk about fashions or her car, etc. Nothing related to her family or past.
    Thank You.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,857, Reputation: 10852
    Expert
     
    #2

    Jul 17, 2018, 07:49 AM
    How long have you been interacting at this level? Is it just lunch meetings? How did this lunch meeting start? Some context for a timeline and some insights would surely help, but I can tell you that casual connections often stay that way until events happen that either help the bonding or distract from bonding. Meeting and making friends is not an instant thing in most cases, so do you somehow feel as though you bring more of yourself than she does?
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Jul 17, 2018, 08:29 AM
    Some people aren't as open as other people. Some people have a wall around them and some have a good reason to have a wall around them. Some people need to trust before they open up. All of us are different and that is okay. If it makes you uncomfortable then it's your choice not to be around her. What would bother me more is someone that is too open at the beginning. Having said that, I am not the most open person either and it suits me just fine.
    ma0641's Avatar
    ma0641 Posts: 15,681, Reputation: 1012
    Uber Member
     
    #4

    Jul 17, 2018, 02:03 PM
    "I am not afraid at all to talk about myself or my past."-That's you.
    "Nothing related to her family or past."- That's her. Some people have past experiences they don't want to discuss, simple as that.
    "I do not think I want to continue to see her"-answered your own question didn't you?.

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