Boyfriend lied in the beginning, now he's so good to me. Long distance relationship.
Asked Apr 22, 2012, 04:11 AM
Hey there boys and girls.
My boyfriend lied to me when we were not together, he made up stories and forgot to meet up with me online some times(he told me after what was up, but I still think there is a little more to it). He continued with his lies a little in the beginning of our relationship. The biggest lie was that he was in touch with two of his ex girlfriends(Writing with them(reserved talking, not too flirty) & he even met up with one behind my back to officially tell her that he is committed(he told me that, but you know?). He told her that because he was never committed before and always cheated on her and came back to her). Few days after she wrote me a message saying:
You should know since you think you and Dean are going out and all. That the first night he came back we had sex and then everyday after. I don't know what he's told you, but it's probably mostly lies because that's what he's good at. Sorry to tell you this, but it's better to know sooner than later trust me. It's up to you to decide what you're going to do now. Bye.
After I told him was answer was:
Baby I have made many mistakes before, but I came to my senses and changed to be a better man. I would never do anything to loose you, cause you are everything I've been looking for all my life. I broke her heart and I never want to cause such pain to a person again. She saw that I've changed and is furious that u will get the best of me that she never did. And that made her say all this s***. As I told you she told me that she was going to tell you this. I tried to be nice to her but it just made it worse.I f**** love u n need u here!! That is why I won't see her at all. She needs to move on even if it is with my friends. I'm done playing games that's why I told u that u have met me on the right time. I'm standing up for the woman I love that's why I keep breaking her heart telling her how much I care about you and how you are all I ever wanted. That made her go psycho.
Baby well get through all this s*** n be happy for ever!! I love u baby hope all is well!
This was March last year.
He also often lied about smoking weed. I think he is scarred of me and my reactions, kind of like he is scared of his mom(she always busted him doing stupid things and she is ver religious).
He changed after talking for hours. But I still can't stop thinking why he didn't respect me more in the beginning? His excuse was that our relationship was long distance and because I am pretty he would not know what to expect from me(probably because he thinks I would react like him by getting attention from others). Fact is that I ended up being a very patient girlfriend(like a bird on a stick waiting for food). He loves me for that and tells me how he sees that I am a good girl and so on(my looks are pretty misleading, I look wilder than I am).
So now I am just writing to ask if I should just let it go?
Once in a blue moon I dream about him being with other girls(just giving them attention). This night my dream was so bad, I dreamed he got a boner of talking with a girl and I was not in the room. So as you see I am very frightened by what happened. My dreams are not crazy wild, but they are quite weird, cause I dream of his attention to others.
How can I get over this nonsense?
He's beautiful, friendly, spiritual, I really enjoy his company but I always think back, if this never would have happened, would I love him more?
AND: He's always been a bad listener when it comes to my interests. I'm not on the edge to brake up, I would just like to feel better about us and I would like us to know that he listens..
Do you think it would help with a fresh start? Kind of falling in love again?
I don't know how I can make my brain move on, I know that the fresh start thing sounds like a good idea. We only fight about attention(when he's playing or video games or doesn't take his time to talk some things out) other than that we are a great couple, always loving each other. I am not jealous, I just want to know what he feels, and he often forgets to speak up about his thoughts. We are working on that now. We've been together for 1½ years and we are thinking about getting married next year, but we REALLY NEED to solve these issues.
To summarize it the three main issues are:
1. Lies from past
2. Small lies here and there about small things