Asked Nov 23, 2011, 09:12 AM
Recently I left my husband because he was physically, verbally, emotionally abusive. I have a child from a previous marriage and am pregnant with his child. I met him a year ago and we fell deeply in love. He was everything I ever thought I needed and wanted in a man. When I look back on things, I can now see glimpses of his controlling behavior even early on. However, rose colored glasses will mask a lot of things. After I moved away from family /friends with him his behavior became even worse. He would say mean things about my son and even pushed my son once really hard and he fell and hit the wall. He has repeatedly physically done things to me that were hurtful and I am disabled so it is difficult if not impossible to fight back. The last straw for me was him throwing me off the couch, and then when I tried to leave he took my purse, phone, cut off the house phone, shredded my debit card, etc. I left the next chance I could get when he was gone.
I filed an order of protection on him, I did dismiss the charges because I didn't want it to hurt his career. I made a deal with his attorney that he would not speak to me or my family. I moved away and am pretty sure he has moved out of where we were residing. One of the agreements was for him to enter into anger management / counseling. The only communication is between his attorney. I know he is very angry for me going forward and telling people about him. I do really love him, care about him, and want to seek some sort of counseling with him. We are not speaking now, however, as I mentioned. I don't know if he even would consider speaking with me and don't even know deep down if that is the right thing to do. I don't know how to start a dialogue with him to see where he stands. His lawyer did say during the process right after everything happened that protecting his career was the most important thing right now to him. That does tell me I am not at the top prority nor is this child, but my heart is so empty and broken. When he was acting normal he was really good to me.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.