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DJ 'H' · Jan 23, 2006, 06:28 AM

Ok, for those of you who have read previous posts you will know that I have been pregnant before (had an abortion because I was back into a corner etc) and that recently I have been drinking lots of water which has been making me feel great. I also smoke - I have cut down and I am hoping to quit.

I am very paranoid ever since the last time I was pregnant and every time I get paranoid it turns out to be nothing - but it's something I need to get off my chest.

I keep going to the toilet - at first thought it was just the water going through me - but today I have not drank anywhere near as much as I have on previous days and I still keep going to the toilet frequently.

I have been having lots of late nights recently because of DJing which is why I have been tired, but my body just felt like it was giving up on me whilst I was dancing and entertaining children on Sarturday. I had to quickly disappear to get a glass of water a sit down.

This morning I had heart burn and now I have a slight pain going from my right breast to underneath my arm-pit. I have had this before and it's been nothing.

However all of these put together I am worrying (probably un-neccessary) and it is probably due to all the exercise I have been doing and all the water I have been drinking and working so hard, the smoking (even though I have cut down) is probably not helping, but I just needed to get it off my chest so that I don't have a panic attack. I am so stupid sometimes.

NeedKarma · Jan 23, 2006, 06:32 AM

I think this is your answer:

Originally Posted by DJ 'H'

it is probably due to all the exercise I have been doing and all the water I have been drinking and working so hard

Remember: whether in new exercises or doing new sports, any repetitive motion that you have not done before will result in muscle soreness.

Now I'll refer you back to the thread about thinking too much. :)

DJ 'H' · Jan 23, 2006, 06:41 AM

Cheers my dears. I always know deep down, but because on my panic attacks, my mind tends to overpower everything at times and make me believe I have something wrong with me. But thanks for the reassurance. I used to be a dance competitor and I had to quit for various reasons. I have not done so much dancing until for a long time. Lifting disco kit, swimming etc, I guess is all going to take its toll at some stage. I just cannot help but be paranoid sometimes.

bizygurl · Jan 23, 2006, 07:32 AM

I wouldn't worry about it although its quite natural to be worried. Your probably expirencing a little burn out through all this activity. If you can spare at least five minutes a day, go somewhere you could be a lone and relax. I have to do it because my kids do get to me sometimes and I need that alone time. Everyone does. Try not to do too much, which will leave you open to getting sick. Good luck

DJ 'H' · Jan 23, 2006, 08:07 AM

Well I had a day of rest yesterday - which was appropriate being as it was a Sunday. Pete and I did not get out of bed until 2.30pm. We had some dinner and then we spent the evening on the sofa in front of the TV which was nice. I think I will do the same tonight ;) I only have to DJ on Friday & Saturday this week and it's only teenagers so It won't go on late - so I will be able to get a couple of earlier nights in as well as through the week. I am going to a Motorbike show on Sunday in London with Pete and friends; I have to be up and ready by 6.30am - but I think I will sleep in the car. Lol

Fr_Chuck · Jan 23, 2006, 08:16 AM

Of courrse I have not had to worry about the issues you are going though personally but as the father of 5 I have first hand knowledge about how women behave and some of the issues they have. I can't give you any great medical reason for going to the bathroom all the time, but I know so very well on my last child, I joked about putting a potable potty on a trailer and pulling it behind our car, she had to stop so often and go.

As for as drinking a lot of water, well she always does that anyway, (part fish I think) but that is always a good thing to do.

As far as worry, my wife has you beat hands down, she had our nurse 24 hour call number on speed dial, read dozens of baby books, and was checking out private grade schools before the 6th month.

I would advice regular medical check ups with your local doctor and follow his advice on activities, as far as the smoking, I would quit, all the studies show it can be harmful, and after the baby is born, the second hand smoke that baby would breathe in is so bad for them.

She also went though a lot, a whole lot of mood swings,

DJ 'H' · Jan 23, 2006, 08:42 AM

I know I am not pregnant - I just worry about it! Have done ever since I had my abortion when I was 18yrs old. Now I have got it off my chest and read your replys my parania has stopped and I am fine. So thank you so much for all your help & reassurance. Much appreciated ;)

Fr_Chuck · Jan 23, 2006, 08:51 AM

Having an abortion does not make you an "evil" or "bad" person. It is a legal choice women have in many places ( I will assume it is legal where you are at, I do not know much about your countrys laws)

While of course in strict pro or con discussions I am about as pro life as a person can get, but this does not condemn anyone who is a victim to the process.

Ladies like yourself who have gone though the process are often hurt emotionally, some more than others, and of course some not at all.
It is not an easy choice and one that can not be second quessed or changed afterwards.

Many ladies who have had previous abortions become great and loving mothers. Many have no emotional issues latter, but many do. If you are having pain in your life because of past choices, we can't change them, we have to accept both the good and bad choices we "ALL" make.

The one I live with all the time, my last words to my first wife before she died, ( I of course did not know she was going to die) was hard words, we had argued and fought, I had a feeling to call her and tell her I did not mean it and I was sorry, but I did not do it. Now I can talk to her grave stone but I have to live with that memory of what I said.

Everyone of us has the what if, maybe I should have in their life, most of us have 100's but all of us have a few that always haunt us.

You seem like a wonderful person and I know you can find the strength to work through all for this. But never forget that professional and or religious help is normally only a phone call away if you need it.

DJ 'H' · Jan 23, 2006, 09:29 AM

Abortion is legal in the UK.

Perhaps your right. Maybe it is in my sub-consious and something I never really did get over properly, may be why I get paranoid all the time. I do want children and if I could turn back time then I would have done things differently; however I do believe the path I chose (even though I was backed into a corner) has bought me a lot of good. I would not have Pete, my DJ career would not have taken off as it has done, I would not have a car or my driving licence I would not have travelled around Australia and I would not have any of the other things I have done.

At the time I had just finished college, I did not have a proper job, or any money and I was still suffering with Depression. So I feel I did the right thing; but it does not stop me wondering from tme to time, what it would be like having a 3yr old, and if I would have been a good a mother etc. But it's something I try not to dwell on and think about too much!! I want to have children when I am about 26/27yrs old after I have lived, got married etc. I want to things properly and when I am content that I have done all the things I want to do.

Chery · Jan 25, 2006, 04:59 AM

We all have some type of baggage that we carry around with us one way or the other. Some excape this through 'anethesia' of many types, and some use excessive movement - as long as we don't have to think too much about the past. That happens to me too, and probably millions more. We all need a little time to ourselves to reflect - not just on the bad things, but the pleasant things in life - to gain energy from that and plan on the next time to relax.
Dear, you did nothing wrong, not willingly at any rate, so please stop persecuting yourself. Think ahead now.
And by all means, please be reassured that you will get our support 24/7 here at AMHD, unconditionally and without judgement.
Follow your goals, relax now and then, and keep us posted.
All the best, Chery

DJ 'H' · Jan 25, 2006, 05:20 AM

Thank you so much! You guys are the greatest! Life works so much better for me now that I can actually offload things that are bothering me rather than let them get bottled up. Things make so much sense to me these days.

Love you all x :)

DJ 'H' · Jan 25, 2006, 08:17 AM

I am not going anywhere - so no worries there ;)