Why do men break things, leave, cheat on you, come back, and tell you they love you?
Asked Apr 27, 2011, 04:41 PM
When I first met my husband he already had a girlfriend. I found out 3 months later. I planned to dump him but his girlfriend told me they hadn't slept together in a year. I maybe thought she was using him and felt sorry for him and wanted to show him how much I loved him. I made him tell her in front of me that he didn't love her anymore if he wanted to to be with me. We moved in together. He did and we always fought about it because I never got over it.
He would get mad and leave and I would chase after him like an idiot because I didn't want him to be with her. He came back and swore to me he wasn't with her. I called her and she told me the same thing. I was so happy because I knew he loved me. The next day she called his phone and I answered. She made him confess where he was that day and I kicked him out. We went out and she bought me drinks. He kept calling me and then calling her phone at the bar. I went home and he showed up drunk at my apt crying telling me he was confused.
I hated him but didn't want to be alone and wanted to believe he loved me. I wanted to know the truth. I met with his ex and sat next to her as she begged him back over the phone. He was on speaker and he told her he loved me and was going to work things out. I took him back and I was more jealous and insecure around any girl. I didn't trust him going anywhere by himself.
One day he went to work and didn't come home the day before Thanksgiving. I cried when I found out he moved out of state. He left me roses in my mailbox with a letter saying how sorry he was and how he wanted to stop hurting me. He text me and told me to call when I was ready. I called him and I was angry he was in another state and started yelling at him because I heard noise in the background. He hung up on me and turned off his phone. Hours later he answered and cried and said it was hard being alone somewhere new and he turned his phone off for three days.
I couldn't take it and left my job, jumped in my car, and drove 13hrs. I got lost in the woods, dam GPS. I started to think if he was worth it, just to turn back but I kept driving. I found him and he was so happy. We spent a month staying in a hotel and it was perfect but I was still suspicious. We went back and told my parents we were moving out of state and getting married.
We got married and I felt like some days he treated me bad and he came hoem happy. His hours were always changing at work but his check verified he was at work. A girl from his job called his phone and I answered, he promised me he wasn;t talking to women. She claimed to be married, he told me she was cheating with his friend who was about to have a baby. I called her husband and told him what a whore she was. I mad ehim take a lie detector test which said he did sleep with his ex. He begged to go to counseling and confessed he talked crap about me to his friends at work but denied sleeping with his ex.
I called her and she swore they didn't sleep together. ***? We went to counseling and he would get angry every time I asked him questions. He took off three days ago. I saw him walking... looking so angry and miserable and I kept driving. He came home and hours later and knocked on the door but I didn't answer it, He knocked again... Then the third time he busted down the door and I called the cops. He punched my big screen and came at me like he was going to hit me but kissed me and told me he loved me. I told him no you don't. Haven't heard from him since.
I went to go see our counselor and he told me he needed to control his anger. I am depressed, I tried everything, I hate him... Why couldn't he just reassure me instead of getting violent and leaving. I wonder if he does love me or if he is just sick! I'm even more angry at myself for loving him and taking him back. Screw him!! He hurt me! He has issues!! Oh well at least I'm getting my Masters in 2 months. He can't take away my education. But somwhow I feel stupid for thinking about him now... I'm just lonely in a new state with no support. Dam that counselor is making some money off me. Coming on here is much cheaper... LOL