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    arcangelw's Avatar
    arcangelw Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Sep 22, 2013, 05:12 PM
    Spouse remarried, how do I find divorce papers?
    Hi Everyone.

    I am from NY. Some years ago I moved down South to N.C. There I met a guy and ended up in a relationship with him. About 6 months later his Dad had a heart attack and he had to leave to where his Dad lived in N.J... He had been staying in N.C. because of his business.

    We kept in touch, but soon after my Mom became ill with Cancer and I had to leave and move back to N.Y. to take care of her.

    A few years later after being in a part of N.Y. where I had never lived before and my Mom having passed away, I became very lonely. I tried dating for a while but did not find that special one. I was devastated from losing my Mom, as she was my only relative left. I was about 30 years old and had just been Divorced before moving to N.C. with my son who is multiply handicapped. I was starting over again for a 2nd time in a new area after a Divorce and left to care for my son by myself as his Dad did everything he could to not have any responsibility for him and wanted nothing to do with his own son, hence the reason we divorced a few years before. I really felt alone.

    I began to reconnect with the guy I had met in N.C. who had to leave because of his Dad becoming ill. His Dad has passed away also and he was staying in N.J. trying to help his Mom sort through things in the house to sell so she could go back to Florida where she lived. She had been separated from his Dad.

    We began commuting between his Dads house in N.J. and my Moms housed in N.Y. by train. Finally we decided to get married. We thought it would be fun to take a little trip and fly to Las Vegas and get married. So we made plans for a weekend and prepared. We did fly to Las Vegas and married but he said he had legal reasons he had to get back to N.J. early so we were only there for about 6 hours. And because I had a friend watching my son for the weekend, I had to return back to N.Y.

    A few months later we decided he would come to N.Y. and we would live here all together so my son could keep in school and because I had my Momís house and her dealings to finish after her death.

    He was here for a total of 10 days when things were already out of control. He took my car keys and just took my motherís car on me without asking or mentioning it to me and would take off and leave us without transportation. He suddenly became very possessive and demanding, and trying to take the money I had left to pay for my motherís death expenses, a small amount that she had left for that reason in the 1at place, as she was rather poor with a broken down house in a very bad area.

    I began to get frightened to go to sleep with him in our house and worried for my sonís safety. I now felt like something was terribly wrong and needed to find out what it was. One day I was wondering what he was doing in the basement for so long and I went down to find him there with a needle doing cocaine. I was shocked and blew up and told him I will not have that around my son or I, much less in our home.

    I told him he needed to find a place to go stay. But he refused and began threatening me with harm. That night I woke up about 3 in the morning and when I did not see where he was, I tried to go out the back door to see if he was in the basement. I could not get the door open, it was jammed from the outside and so was my front door. I tried to call the Police for help but the phone line was cut. Long story short he had jammed both doors to our apartment so my son and I could not get out. He had pulled the gas pipe out in the basement and was about to ignite it with a match to cause the house to explode with my son and I in it.

    I quick broke the door down and told my son to quickly run out and go next door and wake up our neighbors to call the Police and Fire. I went down the basement and fought with this lunatic as he was climbing out the basement window with the matches in his hand he was going to ignite our home with, until I got him away. But he had pulled the gas pipe and caused such damages, I refused to let him back in. The Police never showed up, but the Fire Trucks did and shut off the gas.

    I finally got him arrested days later but he was never found guilty of anything because the Police never did come to our aid much less to investigate anything until days later when there was no longer any evidence and after I obtained a Court Order of Protection, and then went to the District Attorney with a neighbor to complain about that. We were living in my Moms house in a bad area where the Police at the time did not like to get out of their cars in our area much less show up.

    Finally I had reason to believe he finally left us alone and left the area back to Florida where his Mom lived after many more weeks of terror. I did all kinds of things to make him or anyone else he might know think we no longer lived here. I always worried about us keeping safe from him.

    A couple of years later I did not have much money and not sure what State he was living in, so I went to our local Volunteer Neighborhood Lawyers Project for a Divorce. They made me pay them about $500 up front.

    Then one day this guy I had married began calling my neighbors asking for information about me. I could not understand how he knew where we were much less their phone numbers. I was worried sick he was back in our area and that we might be in more danger now. Turned out someone from this Volunteer Neighborhood Lawyer Program reached him and gave him any information he asked for despite my telling them he tried to kill us once and I still feared him and was trying to keep us safe from him.

    After that I never again had the money to try to get a Divorce or to hire a Private Lawyer. I would just check online once in a while thinking maybe HE will get the Divorce as he had a business and only himself to take care of or maybe he might overdose on drugs by accident some day.

    After 21 years of being alone and in fear of this guy thinking I am still married to him, and in danger, I finally found today, records that after we married in 1992, and the incident where he tried to kill us, and I tried to keep him away from us, I just found records that in the state of Florida he re-married a girl in 1995, and then another girl in Florida in 2007.

    Finally, my question: How do I find out where he filed for divorce from me and get a copy so I can finally be free, to find someone to be with too after all I have been through? I found marriage records online, but cannot find any divorce records online. I am hoping he did file for divorce before remarrying someone else, actually two marriages since me. How do I find out where and get a copy of it if there was a divorce filed by him? I am still in NY. And think he may still be in FL. Although he sometimes travels in his business to other states and sometimes stays depending. We married in Clark county Las Vegas.

    P.S. I have lived in fear all these years thinking I am still married to this guy always trying to check online where he might be to know he is not near me or my son whom I am still having to care now as an adult who his multiply handicapped, and thinking I will never be free to marry anyone myself unless he gets and pays for the divorce and I am able to find it and get a copy. It is now 21 years later.

    Thank you to anyone who can help me ahead of time!

    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,687, Reputation: 1438
    Internet Research Expert

    Sep 22, 2013, 05:59 PM
    More then likely I would bet that he never divorced you. You really need to find out what order you are in because he may have others that were before you. You need to report him.
    arcangelw's Avatar
    arcangelw Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Sep 22, 2013, 06:56 PM

    Thank you for the response, I really appreciate it.

    Any idea how I would go about trying top find these things out? And who would I report him to?

    I am struggling and don't live on much financially. I have spent my day looking for a way to contact any of his spouses to see if they know about me or about a possible divorce he may have filed before marrying them. No luck so far. Maybe if I figure out who to report him to, then it maybe possible they might force him to produce a copy of the Divorce or admit he never filed one. :)
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,687, Reputation: 1438
    Internet Research Expert

    Sep 22, 2013, 08:06 PM
    You can start by calling your local DA's office and ask there. They may be able to either handle it or tell you how to refer it to the right people. He may be guilty of multiple crimes for doing it.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,272, Reputation: 7690

    Sep 23, 2013, 06:14 AM
    You may do it at this web site.

    Florida Divorce Records

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