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brookemichelle · Feb 4, 2011, 04:56 AM

I have known about my mother cheating on my father now for quite some time. I understand why, my father is abusive in every aspect. I just can't get this other man out of my head. My mother denies it but I have read text in her phone, and family member have caught them kissing. The other man quit his job just so he can be employed at my mothers business. This summer when my mother and I got tattoos for my 21st birthday, he joined and tattooed my moms name on his wrist. I love my mom and want the best from her but something about this man is rubbing me the wrong way. Also ever since he came into her life things have gone missing. I don't want to point the finger at anyone but lets just say its quite obvious and my mom just seems to be oblivious. I did break down and tell her how I felt and she just blew me off and continues to be with this man while my dad (who I am not justifying in anyway) is getting drug along. I don't like this other man and I have a bad felling about him! Something is just not right. I think he may be a worse person then my father and I don't know what to do! HELP!!

martinizing2 · Feb 4, 2011, 08:03 AM

Going from an abusive man to one that is actually fun to be with , will have a tendency to blind a woman to any other faults he may have.

It would be better if she ended the abusive relationship first, (and she should have long ago , abuse is not to be tolerated) but it is her life and her decision.

You can tell her your feelings but don't expect much from it. She may be finding some happiness that has been lacking for a long while, and will not be prone to listen to anything that may stop her from being happy .

She will have to be the one to determine if he is worse than your father.
In a situation like this there is little you can do or say that will make a difference.

These are her choices and she will be the one to live with outcome be it good or bad.

It is out of your hands.

Devorameira · Feb 5, 2011, 06:08 AM

Your mom has really put you in a sticky situation. You've already confronted your mom, but you should NOT be the one to tell your dad. If you tell your dad and they break up, you could be blamed for the breakup, even though it's your mom's fault. It's really possible that he already knows or at least suspects something. Don't humiliate him by letting him know that you know... stay out of it.

Aprilshowers44 · Feb 15, 2011, 04:43 PM

Your dad is the problem, not your mom. Unfortunately it is true that some men look for vulnerable woman who want lots of attention and later take everything from them but until your dad fixes his problem, nothing is going to keep your mom away from the love and adoration she desperately needs. While I don't condone cheating you seem to think that your mom has this problem but your dad CREATED it by being abusive. You need to tell your mom that if she wants a divorce that's fine but she should not be with this man until she is. Even then, sometimes you just can't convince someone you love that the person they are in love with is not right for them because you have a feeling. The best you can do is stand by her and let her know that you care about her. You can express your concerns but you have to start looking at your mom as a 'victim of abuse' not the one who is causing your dad to get drug around.