Hey all

I recently found out that the reason my dad had been going away over the weekends was to see another woman. Turns out he'd been 'seeing' her since before Christmas last year but never said anything. After a family meal (after he'd just come back) he told my mum, who then came round to tell us (both of them together.)

To be honest I'm not entirely surprised that they were going to split up, the tell tale signs have been there for a long while - but I thought it would have been a mutual decision to just part ways.

The reason I'm posting is not for any advice people can offer me if possible on a little problem I now have...

After we (me and my brother) were told about why exactly they were splitting up, there was an overwhelming anger that suddenly took over, like nothing I'd ever felt before, it was unnerving to say the least and hard to control as I've quite a short temper, I got up slowly and went outside for a couple of minutes then burst into tears, but now I've all this built up emotion that I don't know what it is, whether its hate, anger, resentment or just the feeling of being betrayed, but it won't subside...

I don't know what to do, I can't seem to shift the feeling :(

Thanks in advance!

Heya g

I can tell you what your feeling is normal its so new to you and its not something you can control like your temper but it will take time

I was told when I was 12 I had half sisters from my dad having an affair which turned out my dad was living a double life with another family! I felt the same as you so I know it will go with time just be there for your mum and brother there probably feeling the same so they'll understand if you talk to them and it does help its kind of strange comfort when you know someone is feeling the same as you

I'm sure the reason was a complete shock. I think what you might be feeling is Betrayal and anger, not just for yourself, but for your mother, whom he also betrayed. You resent the behavior, not necessarily the split-up. The best thing that you can do for yourself is to allow yourself to feel these emotions and talk to someone you trust about it. I'm very sorry for your situation, things can be very rough sometimes, but you will pull through. :)

Hi, Gravak!

Was it not a mutual decision for them to just part ways, please?

Thanks!

Cheers for the kind words guys (and gals :])

@Clough - it more than likely would have been, had this not have come out, there'd been a sort of separation going on anyway over the past year or so, this was the nail in the coffin and my mum told him to get out

So, your dilemma now, is how to deal with it within yourself?

Correct?

Ye

I would suggest that you talk to him about how you're feeling.

You may cry, you may scream, you may even curse - but, he is your dad and it's important that he understand how this break up is affecting you.

Try not to be mean or horrible, just tell him that you feel betrayed, angry and distressed.

If you feel this bad, imagine how your mum feels.

My advice is to try not to overthink the situation. I've been there before and I know when I get overwhelmed and think about it too much I get out of control with my emotions and don't know how to explain it. A lot of the times its confusion for me just because of my situation.

But hang in there because it will all be OK in the end, and everything happens for a reason, even if you don't know what the reason is.