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    familyman's Avatar
    familyman Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jan 27, 2006, 05:26 AM
    Question. Please help.
    I have three questions if the community could please help.

    1. I picked up the divorce papers from my wife's attorney yesterday. How many days do I have to respond. I'm trying to save money to get a lawyer at this time.

    2. If I change jobs and move out of state about two hours away, can she legally take our kids out of states, about 5 hours away?

    3. I am currently paying $1000 per month to her for child support, and now she want alimony. My salary is less than 46,000 per year and her's is about 27,000. She also requested that I pick up the kids from school every day but she gets to make all the decisions on our two girls well being, among other things. Seems that she wants to be divorced buy me continue to do the things for her to provide her with free time. Will the judge sign off on something like this?
    mr.yet's Avatar
    mr.yet Posts: 1,725, Reputation: 176
    Ultra Member

    Jan 27, 2006, 05:44 AM
    What state are you in?

    By your post, it seem that she wants you to continue to do everything for her.

    It will not be about her anymore, but about what is best for the children.

    If you don't agree to what she wants, then protest it, give her your terms.

    You must try to do everything for the children that you can, they are what is important.
    familyman's Avatar
    familyman Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jan 27, 2006, 05:52 AM
    We are in Tennessee. I want to do the right things for the kids and for them to continue to see their mother party all night long and not come home is disturbing. After paying the child support I don't have enough money left over to do things with our kids. In this situation, will the judge grant alimony?
    mr.yet's Avatar
    mr.yet Posts: 1,725, Reputation: 176
    Ultra Member

    Jan 27, 2006, 05:58 AM
    If sounds like she does care about the children. Do you want custody of the children? You may want to keep a record of her activity, I personally contest my divorce, kept the children, she want to party all the time, my concern was for the children. Alimony I would do everything to prevent that, it would mean that you pay for her to party!!

    I personal would contest the divorce and ask soon friends to help with some private investagations, just a thought>>>
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,302, Reputation: 7692

    Jan 27, 2006, 06:31 AM
    Judges do all sorts of things, that is why you need an attorney now, borrow the money, sell something, but get an attorney.

    You will need to object to everything and file your own paperwork demanding what you want ( not even what you think is fair, what you want to start with) then you will haggle over each point for months to try to reach a settlement.

    Unless there is a temporary child custody in place either one of you can do what ever you want with the children. You say you are paying 1000 a month, is this just what she asked for or did she get a temp support order ?

    At your pay rate this is a little high on child support for the ones I know here in TN. Next alimony if she gave up her better job to help you, if she can prove she missed promotions because she was raising the family, but in general in most of TN, most likely not ( as long as you get an attorney fast) IF you don't have an attorney it is like throwing rocks against someone with a gun, you can make some noise but everyone knows who will win.

    You go in ask for custody of the kids, demand she pay you child support and then go from there.

    Stop thinking nice and fair, divorce to get good terms will be a nasty and hatred filled experience
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,928, Reputation: 674
    Ultra Member

    Jan 27, 2006, 06:43 AM
    HI, Familyman,
    I am so sorry to read this.
    Fr_Chuck has a very good answer, and I cannot comment with "approval" for his answer, have to pass it around some more.
    You NEED your own lawyer!
    Your wife's lawyer is looking out for her; you need one to look out for you.
    At the amounts of money you have mentioned, you cannot afford NOT to get your own lawyer. I know you only want the best for your children, but your own lawyer can help you decide the money end of it.
    Don't sign or agree to anything, until you talk with a lawyer (not her's).
    I do wish you the best.
    nymphetamine's Avatar
    nymphetamine Posts: 900, Reputation: 109
    Senior Member

    Jan 27, 2006, 07:11 AM
    Familyman, I agree about the lawyer and you need to record her activity. You need other people that can be a witness for you also. There is one thing I think you should be aware of. You have rights as the father to that child. Mom may have them but she can not legally leave you out. Just make sure that you have a paper from a lawyer stating what your rights are as a noncustodial parent. I have custody of my daughters now but when my exhusband had them and I tried to get their medical records I was told no. I went to my lawyer got a paper and went back and threw it in their face. They will try to bs you. You do have rights. Remember that.
    CaptainForest's Avatar
    CaptainForest Posts: 3,645, Reputation: 393
    Ultra Member

    Jan 27, 2006, 06:14 PM
    1,000 a month for child support? Obviouslly you don't have a lawyer since you seem to be getting robbed!! (at least that's what I hear from others)

    And she wants alamony. That funny.

    Get a lawyer. Don't pay her child support for 1 month. Instead, take that 1,000 and go get a lawyer.
    familyman's Avatar
    familyman Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jan 28, 2006, 09:11 AM
    This is being garnished from my paycheck. Instead of serving me with the court papers, her lawyer sent it to my job and I did not receive notice to be in court until the court date was over. So the court started to garnish my check.
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,928, Reputation: 674
    Ultra Member

    Jan 28, 2006, 09:17 AM
    Hi, Familyman,
    You didn't say whether you have contacted a lawyer; PLEASE do.
    Her lawyer is looking out for her, since she is paying him/her. Her lawyer will NOT look at your best interets. That's why you didn't receive any notice to be in court, until the court date was over!
    This judgement against you, auto garnishement from your check, was the decision by the Judge, because you have no lawyer and were not present.
    This same types of things will continue happening to you, without a lawyer. You can try representing yourself in court, but in most states, you have to know the Court Proceedings, and the laws governing Court actions...
    Only a lawyer can help you now.
    I do wish you the best of luck.
    PS; I live in VA, and went through this same type of thing with my wifes's EX, up in Northern VA. She hired a lawyer, and things "turned around" for her the very next court appearance!
    familyman's Avatar
    familyman Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jan 28, 2006, 09:53 AM
    Thanks fredg, I am saving to get a lawyer now.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,321, Reputation: 10855

    Jan 28, 2006, 05:40 PM
    Stop playing with yourself and get a lawyer.Your own devices has got you in deep doodoo,1000 a month child support and she makes 27000 a year?You have two kids?Man do you ever need a good lawyer!:cool:

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