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    My new life's Avatar
    My new life Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 22, 2018, 10:42 AM
    Past history
    I am divorced and have met a great new guy. However, he has a problem with my past - like from 30+ years ago! I mistakenly was honest with him about the number of partners and that I had never really had a long relationship except my marriage, which was abusive - for many years. Now he continues to bring up "my nasty redneck ex", all the men who used and abused me over the years (really wasn't like that at all, but he is convinced). I don't know how to make him drop it! I don't want to hear about that one especially bad mistake anymore. I regret being honest with him. How do I deal with this?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,010, Reputation: 10852
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    #2

    Jan 22, 2018, 10:57 AM
    Dump him! Why settle for another BOZO? We all really like the new heart throb in the beginning, but you already know from experience what holding on to those feelings, and ignoring red flags of bad behavior gets you.

    What? You think he is the only fish in the sea or something? What good is your freedom, and new life if you are going to make the same old bad mistakes again. That's insanity. Let this guy take his bad behavior elsewhere. You keep your dignity and self respect.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #3

    Jan 22, 2018, 12:14 PM
    DITTO
    He sounds a lot like all the guys you knew before.
    Dump him without any explanations other than one sentence, just to show that you have resolve. No time to be wishy washy.
    How can you regret being honest???? REALLY?
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #4

    Jan 22, 2018, 01:11 PM
    I am concerned how you define "great guy". Is it opposite day?

    The behaviors you are seeing now will only get worse.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #5

    Jan 22, 2018, 04:52 PM
    I'm confused. What makes this guy so great because he doesn't sound great at all.

    Your past is your past, and that's where it should stay. You should be able to be honest with the person you're in a relationship with, and not be judged because of that honesty. If he can't handle your past, he doesn't deserve your future.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,292, Reputation: 7691
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    #6

    Jan 22, 2018, 05:21 PM
    I agree, he sounds like he needs to be the next "ex"

    A person who loves you doesn't care about your past and most certainly would not be bringing it up
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,271, Reputation: 5643
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    #7

    Jan 22, 2018, 10:49 PM
    You are jumping from one abusive relationship to another. This creep is already verbally abusive. It will only get worse.

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