3 years ago I was granted a PFA (that is still in effect) in the order it was written that my ex was evicted and a date was put in the order for my ex to retrieve personal belongings with the Constable. My ex never came the order states "on x/xx/xxxx date defendant may enter the residence to obtain personal belongings" and stipulates "retrieval of belongings shall be done by 5:00 PM". My ex never came to get the belongings. I have been trying pro-se for the last year to obtain a no fault divorce (in PA) but to no avail as delivery of certified mail was not accepted etc. Now out of nowhere my ex finally hires a lawyer and files for "special relief" to obtain belongings. Of course the list of things included some on mine that I inherited and the children's belongings as well, but I am arguing that. However my ex states that he tried to contact me several times to get his things (he has a no contact PFA) this is false. His attorney says that I can not say he "did not follow an order" by not coming to get his things by the date specified in the order. It was agreed in court that any furniture things like that which he owned and I was allowing he could take at that time. Is he in violation for not coming by that date? Do I have any recourse since I filed for the divorce a year ago and he is just responding to it now (a copy of the petition he was attached as evidence to his petition for his property". I am not denying his right to his things, I am opposing some of them, and I just want the divorce done (it was denied because the court said he was not served properly). We have no assets, no bank accounts, I don't want any pension or anything just the divorce as we have been separated 3 years. The marital house is up for sheriff sale as I could not afford it and he did not contribute in 3 years... I checked my credit report and the only debt we have together is the house.

In a nutshell - is he asking for belongings which are not his and that is your objection?

Did you dispose of the items?

His attorney can say just about anything; it's what the attorney can prove that matters.

I have not disposed of anything that is his. And yes he is asking for things that belonged to me personally both before marriage and that I inherited through the deaths of my parents /grandparents. He has these items listed as "joint" on his list, HOWEVER I find it funny that he also lists certain items for himself as for example "tools that my (his) deceased father gave me" or something that his uncle gave him etc. So basically he wants all his things that were "given or inherited to him" but wants the items that I also was given or inherited because somehow all my belongings he feels became "joint". We lived in my parents home before they died, we bought the home 6 months after the death of my mother, and the entire home was furnished with my parents things , (except our room) I INHERITED the furniture through their deaths and do not believe they became "joint" in any fashion. He is also asking for the children's things, like beds, toys, etc. I don't think any judge would award him things of the children's as I have custody.

I went to court yesterday and met with my ex's lawyer. My ex did not attend, the lawyer and I sat down an hour prior to the hearing and made an agreement on what personal belongings on my es's list I was agreeing to. This was what was ordered when we went in front of the judge. Here is what I am confused on, as I noted previously my ex has been avoiding service of the pro-se 2 year separation (3 now) divorce petition I filed a year ago. His lawyer stated to me both verbally and in an email that he was NOT HIRED by my ex for the divorce, but only to file a petition to retrieve his belongings. I am confused then at this point after the fact how he could have filed that petition for relief and attach a copy of the divorce petition that my ex has never accepted certified mail and now say that he was not hired to represent anything in the divorce as of yet? In addition he did tell me he can help get the divorce done and said I should have filed a 3301 c not a 3301 d and had the 3301 c papers for me to sign and said he would talk to my ex about signing them as well and filing them. He also informed me that my ex was knew of the divorce petition and was contemplating asking for alimony since he is now disabled after we separated. Good luck I make half of what he gets from disability, plus there is mulitple evidence of abuse and the PFA's and no visitation between him and the children. Since this lawyer attests that he has NOT been hired for the divorce by my ex, and I again mailed the divorce petition 3 days prior to being contacted by this attorney regarding the relief petition should I continue to go ahead on my own and file that service once again was "refused" from his PO Box and also marked "moved no forwarding address" from his last known physical address? We are almost on the 20 day time fame for him to respond and as I said he refused the paperwork. Im assuming if the lawyer was NOT hired to do the divorce that I can still go forth with the 3301 d and file service attempted but refused at this point and try to get it finished myself. Also the court here stated I did not have to have the original divorce petition "re-certified" every time I mailed it, that they would go by the last mailing date even thought the divorce was stamped by the court in Jan 2010, his lawyer when talking about how my "paperwork was incorrect" said I HAD to recertify the petition ever time I mailed it, what is your opinion on this?

I would start by not listening to ANYTHING his Attorney (or at least the person who says he is not his Attorney) says. He certainly isn't representing your interests; whether he is representing your husband is up for debate.

Hire a process server and get this done the right way. In many jurisdictions the Sheriff's Department (or another Police agency) will serve it.

(He is responsible for supporting his children. Visitation is a separate issue.)

Can a process server find out if he has a new physical address? So far he only has a P.O. Box and moved from the last address with no forwarding address. In regard to supporting the children, he filed for SSDI after we separated and was recently awarded SSDI with about 21 months of back pay, I only found this out by accident and called SS who then told me the children were entitled. I applied for them and they will begin getting monthly payments next month. However, it would have been nice if him to at least send me a letter regarding the children possibly being eligible back when he knew ! I am going to file for support even though they get the SSDI from his disability he may still be responsible for more in child support as I am on unemployment and make less than half of when he gets on SSDI monthly. He can ask for alimony but frankly he worked during the marriage and always made more than me, and given the fact that he makes more than me by collecting SSDI at the moment and I have the children, plus there is a PFA against him and evidence of previous abuse I would hope the Court would simply laugh at his petition for such.

OH and I know Custody is separate but there is a court order in place where he has no contact with the children as of this time due to past actions by him.

Yes, a process server can find his address, particularly if the process server is a law enforcement officer or a licensed private investigator.

I am very confused as what to do now and can not afford an attorney to help me. As stated before I erred initially in my first few tries and serving me ex by mail as I did not send it "restricted delivery" and the judge would not accept the fact that an attorney of record at the time I filed received the petition in NJ and told my ex to find a PA lawyer. BUT the divorce petition that my es was supposedly never served with was attatched to his recent petition for "special relief" to get belongings that he did not retrieve from the PFA order 3 years ago AND even though that petition was somehow filed under the divorce docket his new attorney is claiming to me via email and verbally that he was not hired to do anything with the divorce, only to get his belongings! What do I do now? Can I file a petition asking the court to determine if my ex was served based on the evidence that the divorce petition was attached to his own petition as an "Exhibit"? Or do I just go recertify my divorce again and start over with service? When I called the court house the woman said to me "there was a order of relief in the divorce that he get the agreed upon belongings" I tried to explain to her yes I know but technically he was never served by me, his old attorney must have given him a copy of what I sent to them and his new attorney claims he is not hired to do divorce for him" She said, "I don't know what to tell you then"... If I could afford an attorney I would hire one, but I do not have the money, and legal aid in my county does not have divorce lawyers!