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    just stupid's Avatar
    just stupid Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Feb 4, 2014, 12:11 AM
    Man not divorcing wife of 7 year separation
    I have been dating a guy for 2 1/2 years, found out last October a year ago he has never divorced. He lives in a different state and has been separated since 2006. She is demanding a large amount of money each month. So they are not divorced. He talks of a future with me all the time. There is no future for us if he will not divorce. We are not living together. I have talked of breaking up if nothing happens. He is always saying he is working on it. Frustrated!
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,299, Reputation: 5646

    Feb 4, 2014, 12:23 AM
    What is your question?
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert

    Feb 5, 2014, 07:33 AM
    After knowing this man for 2 1/2 years, my opinion would be he is not interested in a serious, long term relationship, let alone a marriage.

    I have known many people who have lived apart for many years, as your boyfriend has, from their spouses. The final step is actually getting divorced, and severing the only remaining tie that binds them.

    Sometimes I think it is a bit of a security blanket. It keeps some tie to the relationship/marriage, but also keeps them (because they are still married) from really moving on, doing what needs to be done, in order to marry again.

    After 8 years of being 'single' he should have long ago put the period at the end of his marriage. Yet, he hangs on to it.

    My advice to you would be to tell him that you will give him six months to finally end his marriage. If he can't bring himself to do that, then you are not prepared to be stuck in limbo while he remains stuck in the past, and not willing to have a future with you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855

    Feb 5, 2014, 09:04 AM
    It's a big red flag when couples have not handled their business properly. You are right, no future here for you. How long have you known about this?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,302, Reputation: 7692

    Feb 5, 2014, 09:28 AM
    If they are married and not divorced, so what if she "demands" a large amount of money each month ( actually sounds like a lie ) there is no reason he would be paying her anything, if they just separated.

    Not sure how much money he has, but so he divorces, or is the money each month "child support for kids ?"

    Anyway, he has no plans to divorce, so you can move in and be a mistress. Or I assume just be a booty call for now, and let him send all his money to his wife,

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