If another man treats me a lot better than my husband should I be with the other man?
Asked Mar 28, 2011, 10:44 AM
I am Married to a man who treats me like crap. We have been together since I was 16 . I liked him though because he was the only person who wasn't afraid to talk to me in high school. When I had moved to Wisconsin when I was 17 he started to hate me. I would try to call him but he would just hang up on me. Then I moved back and we started dating again but he had started to smoke pot and said he started because I had left him, but back then I really had no choice on whether I moved or not. My mom wanted to move. Any ways we ended up having a baby and 2 months later he was caught with pot and sent to jail for 4 months while I was left alone to take care of our baby. I would visit him every visiting time and he soon told me he wanted to marry me , which excited me. Then my mother had passed away while he was in jail and I felt so alone and he wasn't home with me because he was in jail. When he finally got out he proposed to me and we got married a month afterwards. That's when the real trouble started. He became very contolling and told me I was crazy and would call me names like worthless and he would beat me and laugh when I would cry. I finally decided to get a job to try and get away at least for a little while. That's when I met gary. He is 24 years older than I am and when we first met I was afraid to talk to him. He was training me to do the job but as I got to know him I learned we had a lot in common. After about a year our co workers had set us up to go hang out because we were both lonely my husband was gone a lot with some girl he says is his friend even though I've seen them kiss. Any ways gary and I had been set up to hang out and we went to play bingo together. That was the most fun I've ever had. He made me laugh and I felt so comfortable with him. We began to talk a lot more after that and anytime I needed help he was there for me. He would see the bruises on my face and arms at work and would always tell me I should leave my husband and that its not right for me to be treated this way. And I finally thought I had the courage. But then I didn't. I got scared. My husband threatened me that he would kill me or himself. So I stayed. Me and my husband ended up having another baby and I was living in my own little hell. Except when I would go to work. Gary would bring me food when I was pregnant and he would take pictures of my belly just like the baby was his own.. I would sometimes go and hang out with him like go out to eat or window shopping and gary and I would talk. He is like my best friend but I'm falling for him. I have just gotten out of the hospital from the abuse of my husband and I'm trying to get help. But I just don't want to leave my husband for fear of people looking down upon me as a bad person, because I know once you say your vows that's it. Right? I just don't want to live like this anymore. I can see me living a very happy life with gary. He doesn't do drugs, he has ambition, he loves my kids like they were his, he won't hit me. And I can talk to him about anything. Things that my husband and I cannot do.. I mean I do love my husband as in I care about him and what happens to him I just am not in love with him. I have found love and I know what it truly feels like and I do not want to lose it and be unhappy for the rest of my life. I also do not want my kids to grow up and think its OK to be hit and abused by there husbands. I want my kids to be happy. SO my question is Should I leave my husband to be with this man or should I keep trying to make things work with my husband? Thank you all.. NO me and gary have not had any sexuall experiences. I don't feel like that's really important because just talking to him is enough all though I am very attracted to him.. I mean yes we have fought especially while I was pregnant. But we would just talk it out and then laugh about it after wards.. but thank you all